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Drowning in happiness?

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  • Drowning in happiness?

    Okay i am in no way complaining about my marriage, or my life as a stay at home mom.
    But I seem to be in some kind of rut. I am not depressed, actually i've never been so happy. I have a loving husband, and a wonderful baby. We have a great life together!
    Lately i seem to be easily offended, short tempered, and unmotivated. But at the same time im the complete opposite. I dont want to clean the house, but i cant stand it being messy. I have a list of things to do but by the time my son is asleep i just cant do anything but sit down and relax. I think i might be tired, he is only 4 months old and 4 months of being a stay at home mom may be stressing on me. BUT I LOVE IT!!!!! Its just hard.
    My husband who is very supportive trys to help out as much as he can but he is military and is gone most of the day and many nights a week. He is very understanding and the other day got me my favorite tv series and took the baby for a few hours so i could have some alone time. ISN'T HE SO SWEET!

    Another thing is i feel like my hubby and i are just not talking anymore... I mean we talk, we talk about what i did ... at the house. What he did at work... what the baby did, and everything baby. Now dont get me wrong i love talking about our son, and my husbands day. What is bugging me is that thats all i can talk about bc i dont do anything outside of baby, and house wife chores. Now my brother is staying with us for a few months and im home schooling him. So thats at least interesting. Learning what hes learning, helping with his school work. But its also extra stress trying to help him and making sure his grades are up. Trying to care for my son, and clean the house, cook dinner, give support to every one... By the end of the day im just tired.

    I want a break and yet the bottles need to be washed, dinner mess needs to be cleaned and the baby stuff needs to be put away for tomorrow. All i want to do is breathe. Last night i couldnt even get excited for sex! And i love sex! Again im not trying to complain, i just cant understand myself right now! It's like i feel that i am drowning in happiness! BAHAHA yah that sounds crazy but its about right. I need some kind of energy boost.

    I feel horrible for saying it but i feel like i am buried under responsibilities, even though i love all of them! I feel conflicted i guess. I Want to have a conversation with my husband and feel smart again. I want to use my brain and learn again. I want to see the outside world again. How can i let myself out and still do everything i need to do? I dont have time or brain power to do the things that make me ... me. Uhhgg that doesnt sound right. How can i feed my creativity and personality and be the best mother, wife and sister that i can be?
    I am just looking for some type of feed back. How can i bring back my spunk?

  • Ooh, been there. Done there. Or am I still there doing that? Ha!
    I understand your need to get out there and learn something, to have an adult conversation. The five years before I had my son were spent either in college taking an overload of hours or working a fast-paced job that forced me to problem solve a lot. A 4 month old baby just doesn't require that much brain power or that many new skills (at least, not anymore. You learned them all already!)
    First of all, know that in the coming months your baby is going to get more and more mobile. This is a good thing; the more mobile baby is, the more fun he's gonna be while at the park or playing with other babies. He'll be easier to take places, since he won't be hungry so often OR soiling his diaper so often. But in the meantime ...
    Get hobbies. One or maybe twelve. I don't know how many hobbies I've gone through this year. I think I started out with baking, went through knitting, tried crochet, gardening and canning, hunting and fishing. Some of them were things I was somewhat acquainted with and just started to actually do, while others were brand-new skills. Some kept me occupied at home while others gave me an excuse to get out of the house and away from baby. I've toyed at the idea of going to grad school too, but we just don't have the money and grad school doesn't have the same scholarship opportunities as undergrad. But taking a continuing education class in something that interests you, maybe an online class since your hubby doesn't have predictable hours, could help spark your brain.

    I love what I do. Being a SAHM rocks. It's a great opportunity to really get into the raising of your child, but that doesn't mean it is a perfect job with no downfalls or negatives. Don't feel bad for the odd complaint.
    <center><i>Nature gives us shapeless shapes,<br>Clouds and waves and flame,<br>But human expectation is that love remains the same,<br>And when it doesn’t, we point our fingers and blame.</i><br><a href="http://www.womens-health.com/boards/register.php">Register</a>|<a href="http://www.womens-health.com/boards/members/little.html">Contact Admin</a>|<a href="mailto:support*womens-health.com?subject=Forum Contact">Email Admin</a></center>

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    • yyyyeaaaahhhhhhh....... sorry to say, welcome to motherhood! your baby is only 4 months old, so your body is still adjusting from pregnancy and birth, hormones are still fluctuating. as for the stay at home part, yep, that's what we all feel sometimes! it truly is a love/hate relationship - love being home and being there for the baby, hate losing yourself in it all. give it time, and things will change..... as your baby changes, so will your life. sometimes we think "i want it the way it used to be" .... always remember, it will never be what it "used to be" because you aren't who you used to be.... you're a mom. it's different, forever.... but a wonderful different!
      just breathe . . .

      Comment


      • We all get that way, whether we are working at a paying job or being a SAHM. Sometimes the doldurms of life gets to us. You need to take a break (I know, easier said than done). Try setting up a date time. The rule is no talking about kids, work or money. Read something intelecturally challenging, even if its a page a day. Make a plan to take a "vacation" from the work. Let the house be messy and the laundry pile up for 2 days. Know that you will get to it on the third day, but for now, you are going to try to enjoy your time. Join a mother's group so you can talk with other people. Go on stroller walks with other say at home parents. Find something new to do with you child like a hiking group or something.
        Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose - Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster (sung by Janis Joplin)

        Comment


        • Thanks for the feed back! It's good to know that its okay to feel this way!
          I'm trying to become more social with other military moms. But its difficult, so many things get in the way when making new friends. Rank, age, children's age, ext... I had a play date today and it was great! Hubby and I may go out on a date this weekend
          And its wonderful having my brother here!

          Comment


          • Originally posted by Darling View Post
            He is very understanding and the other day got me my favorite tv series and took the baby for a few hours so i could have some alone time. ISN'T HE SO SWEET!
            Have hubby expand on this as much as possible. It will give him more bonding with the baby and it will give you time to do what you want to or do nothing at all. Maybe pamper yourself a little when you get your free time.
            I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
            ...
            Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

            From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

            Comment



            • As said, Welcome to Motherhood .. Lol

              Some Ideas here... First, you have one of the Biggest and Best " Support Groups " ever !! The Military Wives. Know there are many others feeling just like you. See if you can Join or Create a Group, where other Mom's also need a Few Hours to Relax.
              Take Monday - Friday, have a Trade Day or even Half Day, where you let them, watch your Son for a Couple of Hours and You watch theirs for them.
              This is of course once you know them and Trust them and they you . If you can't manage it once a week, maybe every 2 weeks.



              Comment


              • I've lost count of the times I've been working in someone's home and the stay at home mom has chewed my ears off talking to me (which is fine, I love chatting) because she's been in the house all day with her baby. I think I'd get cabin fever too.
                "The greatest enemy will hide in the last place you will ever look" [I]Julius Caesar[/I]

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                • Bahaaha buddhaboy I do that! I sit or stand right by them the whole time talking! I know I shouldn't but I can't help it!
                  I want to ask my hubby to take more time with the baby. Since he was born my husband has never been alone more than an hour with him. So no matter how much he says he understands he really doesnt! I am being more social. But its been so long since I've gotten out and met someone my people skills kinda suck. But I have two cook outs planned in the next two weeks both with kids. So maybe I will come out of my mom box a little bit! Wish me luck. How do you get out of the box?

                  Comment


                  • Confession time - I haven't so much as left my front porch since Sunday afternoon. It's a lonely life.
                    Something that has also helped me is finding online friends because I have such a hard time making friends IRL. The community I'm living in just doesn't jive with me, and most of my tried-and-true friends live a 45+ minute drive away, when I'm trying to save gas money. Having a friend I can chat with online between feedings and playtime and naptime is really helpful.
                    <center><i>Nature gives us shapeless shapes,<br>Clouds and waves and flame,<br>But human expectation is that love remains the same,<br>And when it doesn’t, we point our fingers and blame.</i><br><a href="http://www.womens-health.com/boards/register.php">Register</a>|<a href="http://www.womens-health.com/boards/members/little.html">Contact Admin</a>|<a href="mailto:support*womens-health.com?subject=Forum Contact">Email Admin</a></center>

                    Comment


                    • Little we shoukd be friends I havnt left my house since Sunday afternoon either, and that was to go groccery shopping!
                      I agree it is hard to make friends IRL. I used to be the center of the social circle and now I'm not sure where to find one!

                      Comment


                      • My heart goes out to you right now. I have a two year old son, and those first few months after he was born were more difficult than I'd ever anticipated. It was such an adjustment to go from working full time to being at home full time and consumed by baby needs. Of course, like you, I adored him, but did experience similar emotions like you have described. It was helpful to for me to read this article "Stay at Homes: How to Take Care of Yourself" (removed outbound link) I came across in my time with Focus on the Family. You might even consider joining a group that's designed to encourage moms. I've been a part of MOPS (removed outbound link) and it's been so great to meet other moms that are going through the same things I am. I hope this helps! Grace and peace to you.
                        Last edited by KMonte85; 07-26-2012, 12:13 PM. Reason: outbound links are not allowed

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by Darling View Post
                          I want to ask my hubby to take more time with the baby. Since he was born my husband has never been alone more than an hour with him. So no matter how much he says he understands he really doesnt!
                          It would be good for hubby to learn everything to keep junior happy, fed and sleeping when he wants to. What does he do and what doesn't he do?
                          I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
                          ...
                          Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

                          From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

                          Comment


                          • Oh he is a wonderful father! He knows how to do everything that needs to be done, and he can always make him smile <3
                            He has never had to do it on his own though.

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