[Little]

Sounds to me like one or both of them wants a threesome. And you're just the living, breathing sex toy to make it happen for them.

(Except for the part where you're not.)

People have a lot of funny ideas about bisexuality. That people have to be either gay or straight. That bisexual women are just loose. That because you dig both genders, you want to boink ANYBODY of that gender, and even both genders at once. Pish posh.

I agree with CW - your friend doesn't sound so friendly. The moment you showed interest in women in general, you became a potential accessory to her/hubby's/their fantasy, and she didn't waste any time asking you how cool you might be with it before she enlisted hubby to coerce you. That's not ok.

Now that the dangerous weather is over, certainly stand by your guns and don't spend time alone with this couple. If you want to keep a relationship with the woman, keep your hangings in public until she gets the idea of you in her bed, out of her head.

[Magnetism]

Hello all,


A lot of things don't add up. She keeps saying she's straight, loyal and conservative. She says that three-somes ruin marriages, and how it's "always the man's idea." She complains about men being sex-crazed pigs that can't help themselves.

If they are BOTH wanting me for a three-some (Which I would hate to admit), it's not going to happen. I've told them several times that I don't see my good established friends as people that you have sex with.

This couple does live far away now, which is a good thing. So, I won't be dealing with her husband often. She's a different person when she's alone.

[hys]

Sounds like he wanted to see you and his wife together. Most men fanticize about it but in the moment turn jealous and get angry. You were right in telling him it was non of his business. Your friend is just really comfortable, some people have different guidelines for what is acceptable. Blinders are incredibly popular though.

[amy37]

Alcohol makes fools of us all.

He sounds like a jerk, and a creeper. i'd stay away from him also. Especially if he's cheated on her.

[Alexandra]

Just to put my piece in, I'd say that should you ever see them again, I would be very firm with boundaries if I were you. Don't invite this creep into your home, and if you're out, walk away if he doesn't respect you. It sounds like the two of them are very insensitive and rude.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Love Little's thoughts.

Look it could simply be that she is not wanting at all any three some, that she befriends those that are bi (hear me out) because he is controlling, he controls her, she does his thing but doesn't do his thing if you get what I mean...

Sounds very sus to me.

I don't think it's "both" if you feel she is a friend it's time to talk to her, I am personally feeling that she needs a true friend that she can talk to and cry and spill...

[Magnetism]

Love Little's thoughts.

Look it could simply be that she is not wanting at all any three some, that she befriends those that are bi (hear me out) because he is controlling, he controls her, she does his thing but doesn't do his thing if you get what I mean...

Sounds very sus to me.

I don't think it's "both" if you feel she is a friend it's time to talk to her, I am personally feeling that she needs a true friend that she can talk to and cry and spill...

She ended up crying to me complaining about her marriage that same night, and then apologized the next morning saying "I was drunk. I didn't mean what I said." I would like to be loyal friend, and not just ditch them because their husband is a creep. The town she live in isn't the best town to meet other young women for friends.

I'm not one to tell someone to leave the marriage. I told her she can do what she wants, but she doesn't want to leave him. She will tell me that I'm confused and that I don't know what I want in my love life, but it sounds like she's the one that's confused.

[Little]

People like to put their own emotions onto other people. It's what they know, so it's what they see. She is in a romantic relationship that society deems the norm. It's not going well. So she tells herself, it's okay, I'm normal! She convinces herself that normal is the only option, the only way to be, and that what she has is the best normal has to offer.

So when she sees you seeking out healthy relationships, regardless of your partner's gender, it threatens what she's telling herself. Too bad for her. I actually think that by continuing to look for a healthy relationship and sharing your journey with her, you can help her see the possibilities for change that exist. But if ever you feel like she's bringing you down too much, don't be afraid to emotionally distance yourself.

[Magnetism]

Very true, Little. It's interesting how she has given me dating advice that could be harmful. For example, I told her about this cute 22 year old co-worker. I'm in a managerial position and he is not. She said "Ask him out. So what if he's only 22 or a lower position than you?" If I ask this guy out, I could ruin my reputation at work and get in trouble with my boss. I also could be wasting my time with a young man that has no intentions of settling down.

When I told her that I prefer a man that has his life together, she said "You're not going to get everything that you want. My husband doesn't work and I don't care." Hmm.....

At other times, she is supportive and says I will find the right person eventually. It's best to just keep this a "girls' night out" friendship, and take her relationship advice with a grain of salt.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I can read between the lines there and I echo Little in this case.

She is in-deed saying, " I picked the wrong guy so what, he's ok, he doesn't work, so should you" Then we will have things in common ..

I believe she is one of those "friends" that likes to bring people to her own level but I also believe that she is not happy in her marriage and that he is a player or wanna be player and she will do what ever to keep him happy...