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  • Steph1171
    Member
    • Mar 2013
    • 11

    Engaged, could use some good advice for my fiance and I?

    Hi there, I recently became engaged and I'm judt curious, what is some good advice for a happy, successful marriage? We hardly ever fight, I'm just more curious. Thank you!
  • Rhonda14
    Senior Member
    • Jan 2013
    • 186

    Good communication is key. Also in the heat of the moment think before you speak. Once those words come out they can't be taken back.

    Comment

    • Pollon
      Veteran Member
      • Nov 2012
      • 327

      Don't hold onto the hope that your man will change. He is who he is (less maturation). If there are things about him you don't like, spend your energy on yourself learning to live with those. You'll get along much better.

      Good luck

      Comment

      • jns
        Assistant Admin
        • Mar 2010
        • 8398

        I think both people in the marriage need to be able to compromise. Not necessarily right down the center line, rather with give and take.
        I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
        ...
        Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

        From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

        Comment

        • BookWorm91
          Junior Member
          • Apr 2013
          • 3

          Compromise is inevitable

          First off, congratulations =]

          Compromise is inevitable. You're going to be around each even more than before. It's okay to take a stand on
          things, but remember marriage is about finding a balance between you and your husband, it's being open and honest,
          but also having the maturity to step back and meet the person halfway.

          One of the things that bothered me when I got married was our taste in decorum. My husband has a thing for
          "practical and functional things" aka, he doesn't like things that sit on shelves to look pretty or hangs on a wall with no
          other purpose than to collect dust.

          But I think those things add character and can be sentimental. We've both learned to give a little, he lets me hang up
          artwork and buy candles, and other things that are both functional and pretty.

          Being married is like becoming one person, but having two different faces.

          Good Luck =]

          Comment

          • CHANDLERS WISH
            • Mar 2008
            • 22440

            Originally posted by Rhonda14
            Good communication is key. Also in the heat of the moment think before you speak. Once those words come out they can't be taken back.
            And, never go to bed Angry...................
            PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

            Comment

            • CHANDLERS WISH
              • Mar 2008
              • 22440

              Originally posted by Pollon
              Don't hold onto the hope that your man will change. He is who he is (less maturation). If there are things about him you don't like, spend your energy on yourself learning to live with those. You'll get along much better.

              Good luck
              I agree, but same goes for the OP, in hope that he sees her for who she is and does not try to change her.

              Working Together Guarantees Success....

              In addition if I may being probably older than you lot, lust turns to love in a friendship form, if you lose the lust you lose the relationship, meaning, you must look at a relationship just like your job, it takes work and a lot of it, and compromising and "seeing" what someone needs and what you need is very important to communicate and do.
              PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

              Comment

              • rcoreyus
                Veteran Member
                • Sep 2007
                • 4369

                Figure out how you will deal with money. Is everything shared? Each pays their own?The scheme that my wife and I use is that we combine incomes, share most expenses, but we set aside some money for each of us to call our own to spend on whatever we want.

                Comment

                • Handwriting Healer
                  Junior Member
                  • Apr 2013
                  • 2

                  Congratulations on your engagement! This is a very exciting time in your life so enjoy the feeling of being in love and being excited about your future! If it's not begun already, you may run into challenges in planning your wedding. You will be taken aback by all of the considerations that will arise - for instance, if you come from families that are involved in your wedding planning, anticipate that everything from the ceremony venue to the seating arrangements at your wedding reception will require much give and take. When things get dicey and you wonder if you'll ever make it just remember my kind advice here: it's your wedding day, but others will be vested too Learn to be diplomatic but don't be a doormat, either. Find a sense of balance and poise. As others here said, communicate with your fiancee; your wedding planning will be the beginning of many wonderful life events that you will experience together! Be aware that you and your fiancee have two different ways of dealing with well-meaning family, so be understanding of the importance of family and all will be well.

                  Comment

                  • caster
                    Senior Member
                    • Mar 2011
                    • 174

                    Originally posted by CHANDLERS WISH
                    And, never go to bed Angry...................
                    Nah, I don't believe that one, sometimes you just can't get it worked out before bedtime, and sometimes you just don't want to. The next day what bothered you or him may seem trivial, better to let some things rest a day than hash through things emotionally and tired.

                    Comment

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