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its getting hard

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  • its getting hard

    I've been with my baby's father 4 years now and its been the biggest roller coaster of my life we went from living at my families to having to live with his and now I'm starting to feel the pressure of having my daughter with me 24/7 and I have no one to watch her well I get a job and my hubby will throw it in my face by yet he can't even watch her well i take a shower and seeing how much he takes me for granted is really making me resent him I love him so much but him being 20 I dont think he's ready to be a family man but when I try to end things with him he goes nuts I know I love him but I'm also going crazy with no help what do u suggest I do with this whole situation for example our daughter will wake up at 7 I'll watch her til 12 or even 1 the whole time well he sleeps!! Mind u he doesn't even work anymore so he does nothing all day! N tries to say the same with me, but I've been watching her for 2 yrs now which wouldnt bother me but he'll still have nerve to say," way did I let the baby wake him up!.. or where is his food he's hungry I just don't know how to handle this relationship I feel like were both slowly losing respect and I'm getting really tired I don't know how long I can keep putting up with him being no help I'm starting too feel the strain on me and notice I'm getting irritated a lot faster...

  • If you have somewhere else to go GET OUT! I'm 43 and a stay-at-home mom with no family (other than my husband who works 50-70 hour weeks) to help with babysitting so I know how draining it can be, to do that with little or no support from your partner and to be talked down to on top of that, NO - Just NO! Rather than sharing and making family life easier he's making it harder, much harder. If you're alone and dealing with it at least you prepare yourself for that emotionally, when help is at hand but is never actually helpful it just feels so much worse.

    I really hope you have somewhere else you can go and that it gets better for you and your daughter.


    • One situation, three threads, one answer: get out.
      I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
      Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

      From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia


      • Being so young is hard.

        I'd suggest even that his Mother did everything for him, so he expects a woman to be exactly that, a Mother.

        You are a Mother but you don't have to be one to a man. He does not work, you are tending to a baby and trying to tend to a house and trying to tend to a man who is not your husband even, from the sounds of it.

        You are better of living alone and making him go back to his parents house and see him so it's more like dating. Then, slowly introduce things when he is there, such as, "can you fetch the bottle love".. If he can't learn responsibility you at least are on your own and can take it from there and end the relationship.


        • With no punctuation, and different words used when you probably mean something else (Way = why? Well = while?), to be honest, I don't really know if I understand what's going on. My take on it though is that you're living with a guy who makes you unhappy. I would say, get out of the relationship. Go to your parent's house, a friend's house, another family member's house, or if those aren't options, go to a women's shelter. As for your child, get a babysitter or enroll the child in daycare when you need to work to support the 2 of you.



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