[chakra138]

I surmise from your post that you have been married for just about three years. How well did you know him prior to your marriage? Why did his other relationship not work out? Were the problems the same as now? Does he work and contribute to the household?

I'm just wonder if, when he met you, he was looking just for someone to first of all help take the burden of child rearing off of him. How does he participate in his childrens day-to-day activities, how about your child?

You say you are living with your Mother - do you and he pay rent to her or is it a free ride?

Someone must step up to the plate and be accountable. If he won't do it, then you will have to do it. Make plans for you and your child, first of all. If you feel you are the better parent for his children and that you could manage it - they come second. Your husband runs a sad third place right now.

If you want to stay married to him, you'll either have to accept his foibles or demand and work towards changes. The choice really is yours. Decide what you need out of life and how to get it.

We met online... He dated before hand. He was married to his ex for 10 years. I was told that she cheat on him, and how the girls spoke out their mother she is not all there mentally.
He does work full time. he does help with the bills.
So tonight I will run this by him... "I want a husband that wants to support me, that wants to help me get things done and that is happy to be with me"

He is just lazy and selfish to a good extent.
If he is up for therapy, I have plan to go see one 1st. I guess it can't hurt right.

Again, my main concern is my children and really not myself. But I see what people are saying... Since I'm not in it for myself, I'm only hurting my kids.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hey hon, I played the on-line dating for a while and I guess I agree to a "degree", that in general they don't work out. For the most part the guys seemed to have baggage and others targeted vulnerable women where otherwise, perhaps they would not be able to meet in the real world. But, the internet is still the real world as in we do actually meet "real" people. It's just a bit dicey what you will find.

Those that go for the vulnerable that they can control or think that they can, generally start of with a sob story to string that woman into their lives. I guess your heart went to him when he told you that. Long marriage, only ended because he was cheated on and his children state their Mother is not all together there.

He commits financially but not emotionally.

Let's say she did cheat on him. Perhaps she felt the same way as you. Perhaps he's not a committed person, can stay with a person that's evident, but can't commit to what constitutes a relationship, just sees a woman as someone who cleans, cooks, lays in bed next to him, like a Mother only sex is involved.

Marriage counselling is what he needs .

Your main concern love should be both because you can see that, if you are not happy they will not be happy.