please some advice

[frustrated 226]

Please help a month ago my dh said we were taking a vacation to va beach in may. Im pregnant with my 3rd at 38 and having issues. Swelling, placenta etc. Told him i didnt think it would be a good idea and our youngest still had school. Well im here i gave up after arguing and am so miserable, i tried for 3days now i just want to go home, its 85, i cant see my ankles, when i walk it hurts as baby is so low. I told him n i got how im miserable have to ruin everything and like to argue. I cant stand much more of this. And i still need baby things yet hes complaining about money? ?? Am i really being just a jerk???

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hi there.

When are you due? Sounds as if you are well into your pregnancy about to drop? Did you have to catch a plane to va? Put some ice on your ankles it always worries me when people's ankles swell. It sounds as if your husband made a management decision without you and made you go, that's not the way things are meant to be like, it's togetherness.

If you can't walk, let him go and do what he wants I assume with your children and stay where you are and rest.

What sort of baby things do you need? Things you want or things that the baby definitely needs to have that you both don't have to bring this little one into the World. If it is things you definitely need then the vacation should not have happened, if it is things you "want" then I imagine he is saying enough money spent there and there are other things like being together.

It's hard to answer you without knowing much more hence the questions above.

[frustrated 226]

Thank you for responding. I wasnt planning on another little one and still need car seat, stroller things of that nature. Im 30 weeks now but am scheduled for preclampsia testing as ive gained 40 lbs and am holding alot of fluid. We drove 10 hrs. I hope that helps clear up my previous message

[effy2014]

You were not being a jerk. You shouldn't have been traveling at all. I wish you would have asked us this question a month ago and we may have been able to give you adequate responses to quash the trip.

Good luck with the testing. Preeclampsia is nothing to fool around with. The good thing is that even unplanned babies are terrific.

[jen1447]

Agree ^ from what you've told us, you're not out of line at all and he's acting like a child himself. Things are never that black and white but he'd have a long way to go to get into neutral territory.

[frustrated 226]

Thank you all for your responses. Im sorry i was late getting back to reply, i found out the day i got home that i came down w shingles. Which probably led to feeling miserable prior to and during the Trip. My dh said i obviously cant handle anything who gets shingles when they get to go to the beach! ( the doctor had asked if ive bn stressed) grrrrr. Some days i feel like Charlie Brown trying to kick a football. Youve made me feel much better i was beginning to wonder if i really was the crazy hormonal one im getting called all the time.

[Patti-here]

I think you get shingles, if you had chickenpox when you were a kid.

[frustrated 226]

Yep doctor said if youve had chicken pox the virus stays dormant in your system and can activate thru stress or low immune ? They hurt i can say that much

[Patti-here]

Hope you're all better now ?

[frustrated 226]

I wish. Not yet. Its only been about 6 days? I thought i had a heat rash n then it burnt n felt like i was getting pricked in the side.... im hoping its half way over.. ihad only heard of older people getting them so it never occured to me to think thats what it could b....

[Patti-here]

It's not only older people that get them, a girl I work with got them, she's 32.

[frustrated 226]

Thanks... I hope they are over with soon.

[aura969]

It is normal to feel frustrated in your condition, you need plenty of rest and to be in an environment where you can relax and be peaceful. He should be more understanding and supportive, you are not being pregnant on your own, he’s responsible too. Try to talk things in a calm manner and to make him understand that your mental health is very important for the child you are carrying. You can consider talking to an astrologer to find out about your compatibility with him and how to avoid conflictual situations.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

So, was it a girl or a boy? By my calculations you've well and truly had your little one