[Hashon]

I've been thinking about it for a long time and I think I would be much happier without my controlling husband. Thing is I am currently a stay-at-home mom to our three kids. I have no idea how I could do it on my own financially. I have nothing in my name (even "my" car is in my husband's name), no money of my own, no degree or employment experience to get myself a good enough job to support myself and my children. I just have no idea how I can do it. I was considering going back to school to finish my degree in elementary education and getting my teaching license, but that would probably take three years. Any ideas?

[Motorguy]

I've been thinking about it for a long time and I think I would be much happier without my controlling husband. Thing is I am currently a stay-at-home mom to our three kids. I have no idea how I could do it on my own financially. I have nothing in my name (even "my" car is in my husband's name), no money of my own, no degree or employment experience to get myself a good enough job to support myself and my children. I just have no idea how I can do it. I was considering going back to school to finish my degree in elementary education and getting my teaching license, but that would probably take three years. Any ideas?

Well Hashon, first of all I am sorry this is happening to you it wrong and I feel for you. But my next question have you had discussion with your husband that you are not happy and for a while. I really hate seeing couples break up with kids involved they are the ones who suffer in the long run. So what i getting at have you thought about marriage counseling for you both to stay married for your self financially and the main reason the three kids. But in the mean time go back to school get the degree so if the counseling doesn't work, you can get away and have some financial support then. But right now your husband has his thumb over you unless you do option #1 or # 2 I don't see what others ideas you have that would work, unless family to help you if you have that. I hope this helps you so good luck and god bless you what ever you decide.

[effy2014]

The only way that you will know the answer is to go see a divorce lawyer. Depending on the laws in Washington, you might be entitled to spousal support in addition to child support. If he makes a good living and the two of you have more assets then debt, you may be able to do it while going back to school. I suggest you get the answers. Otherwise, MG is right that you should stay three years longer and get your license so you will be able to work and partially support yourself.

[elmanowar]

Effy2014 is correct. There is a chance that you could be entitled to spousal support for a closed period of time (it's not forever) depending on your state laws. Would he fight you on custody? Remember, if he does and he is granted custody of the kids, it would be you the one who has to pay child support to him. Also, will you have money for an attorney? Spousal support is not automatic and you will probably need somebody to help you fight for it. You have to think long and hard about this. Three years may not be that long if you spend it working toward your rest-of-your-life hapiness.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Great advice.

Also have a look around at what type of jobs are available, see if you can offer some free time, volunteer somewhere to gain experience. What we want to be in life we have to aim for, in the meantime, what we take to survive makes us.

[midnightwishes]

I agree that seeing a divorce lawyer is a great start. Also, they do have help with housing and stuff out there. The only problem is, is that you have to dig and dig in order to find it since they don't really advertise it. My mom told me that in order to get help when I was a kid, she had to do a lot of footwork.

[LilahX]

I'm so sorry you're in a relationship where there isn't equality in any way. I can't even imagine what it's like to have someone want to control every aspect of my life and I admire your strength. Just because everything is in his name doesn't mean he gets it all. A wife with children will most likely get a greater percentage of the split (at least they do in Australia). Don't make any hasty decisions but find someone reliable to speak to and find out your entitlements. Start to plan your departure. Speak to those close to you who might be able to take you in for a while, or help out with accommodation. I'm sure there's many avenues of practical and emotional support out there for you. Wishing you success in forging a new life for you and your children.

[DreamP346]

Also remember, just because you are entitled to child/spousal support and even if the courts mandate it, doesn't necessarily mean you will get it. I don't know what type of work your husband does, but if it is off the books, it is difficult to control and he may just take off and leave you with all the debt. Just be sure to plan it out very carefully. Start saving and putting away little bits of cash.