My fiancé and i have been together for almost 3 years
Everything started out great, we got pregnant and at about 3 months pregnant he stopped having sex with me, kissing me or anything. I got worried asked if there was someone else he admitted it was weird because i was pregnant. Understandable.
He is a very tempered man if things don't go the way he wants I feel it. When I went into labor he got mad and started cussing because he was tired and it was 11 pm. I felt like walking on eggshells to even tell him I needed to go to the hospital. She was born and from that moment on until 4 months old he did not get up with her... One single time. He would come home play xbox and not have a care in the world. If she cried I got her. If she popped I changed her. We both work the same kind of job store managers in retail. I begged and pleaded for his help. When I tell him I am upset he get mad and some how it's my fault. During this time he still wouldn't have sex with me or kiss me we fought constantly he was very demanding things go his way such as "your not washing the bottles right" "don't turn the air below 72" I felt constantly stressed to have even the smallest things the way he wanted them to avoid being told "I was doing it wrong"
I found out he was watching porn. I had to BEG for kisses let alone get intimate but yet he wanted to look at other girls? My self esteem was crushed.
He promised he wouldn't do it anymore we had sex like twice and then again it all stopped. It turned into he was stressed and 10 other excuses.
At 3 months old he proposed I was shocked. We fought all the time no intimacy. I said yes because he asked me infront of my entire family on Christmas... I have sense given the ring back after the last encounter that you will read below.
At 6 months old of age of our daughter I returned to my normal body size... Started working out. I'm 5'8 and 123 lbs. Abs and all I thought that would help.
Our daughter is now 10 months old
I have caught him watching porn 2 more times and it's the constant battle of him neglecting our relationship but yet wanting to look at other girls and him lying about it.
I have even found videos of him and his ex being intimate and it makes me wonder what is wrong with me that he won't even have sex with me but he wanted to record theirs!?
Him watching porn would be no problem to me if we had intimacy. He won't even make out with me unless he has gum in his mouth. He has given me every excuse as to why we aren't Intimate but he can watch porn such as, emotional abuse as a child, stress, work, but my thought is if he has the energy to look up porn he can have the energy to make love to me. He is very rude and hateful a lot of the times as well and has a horrible temper. Last time I told him I was leaving he grabbed me and shoved me onto the bed and took my phone and threw it. He apologized but it's just hurt after hurt and I know that I do all I can to make him happy but I feel he does nothing for me. I know if he were to come to me and say "hey your doing this and it's hurting my feelings" i would apologize and say I'm sorry even if I thought I was right and wouldn't do what ever said thing was that I did to hurt his feelings again because that's what you do when you care about someone. He now is great with our daughter we share responsibility but I have such a hurt from him not helping me before on top of no intimacy and his anger. I'm at a loss. Part of me says to go but I grew up with seeing my father part time and I don't want to do that to her. I will feel selfish. He has apologized but it's the same over and over and I feel like he has cheated. He has taken every security there is in a relationship and smashed it... The feeling of being wanted and loved, feeling safe, trust. I want to forgive him but I stew on it day after day I don't think I can. I don't know what to do at this point.
Everything started out great, we got pregnant and at about 3 months pregnant he stopped having sex with me, kissing me or anything. I got worried asked if there was someone else he admitted it was weird because i was pregnant. Understandable.
He is a very tempered man if things don't go the way he wants I feel it. When I went into labor he got mad and started cussing because he was tired and it was 11 pm. I felt like walking on eggshells to even tell him I needed to go to the hospital. She was born and from that moment on until 4 months old he did not get up with her... One single time. He would come home play xbox and not have a care in the world. If she cried I got her. If she popped I changed her. We both work the same kind of job store managers in retail. I begged and pleaded for his help. When I tell him I am upset he get mad and some how it's my fault. During this time he still wouldn't have sex with me or kiss me we fought constantly he was very demanding things go his way such as "your not washing the bottles right" "don't turn the air below 72" I felt constantly stressed to have even the smallest things the way he wanted them to avoid being told "I was doing it wrong"
I found out he was watching porn. I had to BEG for kisses let alone get intimate but yet he wanted to look at other girls? My self esteem was crushed.
He promised he wouldn't do it anymore we had sex like twice and then again it all stopped. It turned into he was stressed and 10 other excuses.
At 3 months old he proposed I was shocked. We fought all the time no intimacy. I said yes because he asked me infront of my entire family on Christmas... I have sense given the ring back after the last encounter that you will read below.
At 6 months old of age of our daughter I returned to my normal body size... Started working out. I'm 5'8 and 123 lbs. Abs and all I thought that would help.
Our daughter is now 10 months old
I have caught him watching porn 2 more times and it's the constant battle of him neglecting our relationship but yet wanting to look at other girls and him lying about it.
I have even found videos of him and his ex being intimate and it makes me wonder what is wrong with me that he won't even have sex with me but he wanted to record theirs!?
Him watching porn would be no problem to me if we had intimacy. He won't even make out with me unless he has gum in his mouth. He has given me every excuse as to why we aren't Intimate but he can watch porn such as, emotional abuse as a child, stress, work, but my thought is if he has the energy to look up porn he can have the energy to make love to me. He is very rude and hateful a lot of the times as well and has a horrible temper. Last time I told him I was leaving he grabbed me and shoved me onto the bed and took my phone and threw it. He apologized but it's just hurt after hurt and I know that I do all I can to make him happy but I feel he does nothing for me. I know if he were to come to me and say "hey your doing this and it's hurting my feelings" i would apologize and say I'm sorry even if I thought I was right and wouldn't do what ever said thing was that I did to hurt his feelings again because that's what you do when you care about someone. He now is great with our daughter we share responsibility but I have such a hurt from him not helping me before on top of no intimacy and his anger. I'm at a loss. Part of me says to go but I grew up with seeing my father part time and I don't want to do that to her. I will feel selfish. He has apologized but it's the same over and over and I feel like he has cheated. He has taken every security there is in a relationship and smashed it... The feeling of being wanted and loved, feeling safe, trust. I want to forgive him but I stew on it day after day I don't think I can. I don't know what to do at this point.
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