[gingerlynn]

I have been in a relationship with my best friend for 10 years. We have been married for 5 years now. We also have been in business together for 9 years...I am starting to feel that our relationship is just becoming a business partner relationship than an actual husband and wife relationship..please help me figure this one out...any other business partner/husband and wife teams out there please help....

[atskitty2]

That's a tough one.
So...you spend all or almost all your time together?
Is the business floundering or thriving?
Are you leaving work at work and truly separating the two?
Have you taken some "couple time" alone, away from work and kids?
I think we all need details to know how serious the issue and what you've already tried to help.

[Motorguy]

Yea GingerLynn like Kitty says we need more details to even answer any of your worries. I just let you know my parents work together for 32 years till she pass away and they was married for 40 years. So you know working and being married you can make it work. But you need to get away and have me time together more often or you will go batty. Just from the stress of work with the pressure of the business. Plus you know with a job like that you will bring the work home it happens it can not be avoided. So you have to separate the work from your personal life or the marriage will suffer in the long run.

[lollygag]

You need to set guidlines and rules so that you can also have a romantic Relationship. Make it a rule to not talk about work once you guys get home. Make at least one night a week 'date night'. If you guys are able to work together that should be a good sign, it means you guys can be productive together and that you guys can get along.
The only way to change how things currently are is to talk to him about it. It won't change over night. If you're truly dedicated to making the Relationship work, and talking and trying to make rules doesn't help, finding another job may be the last resort.

[gingerlynn]

Thank you all, yes sorry it was a quick and fast post..but you all got it right..we..well I blew up at him last night..it has become for me that our married life has just become a business relationship. im loosing the love that I once had for him as a husband. We use to do the date night thing like go out for lunch, but lately its just been coming home and vegging on the couch. as for leaving the business stuff at work yes we truly try to do that..we just bought a pizzeria and we have been successfully running that for 2 years come Aug. 1..we don't have any kids so we treated that like our baby and we just only started to trust and leave our staff at work to be able to come home for an hour or two at night..but k for kids..i just turned 30 this year..and now my time clock is ticking..like 24/7, that is all I have been thinking about...now this is the tricky one as my husband just had a heart attack in March of this year..so he is now on meds that aren't helping the situation..he says for him that they are making him impotent..hmm well he just doesn't wanna help himself out and get other meds(Viagra) even if he could use it to help out..i dunno im just getting at a lose now...he never wants to touch me or even when I go to bed im sick of having to make the first move on him...im just dying on the inside to figure this one out...thank you all again for the help..now hopefully from this you can understand and see..sorry I missed the little details before but you have to remember im with him all the time and rarely away from him...

[CHANDLERS WISH]

The hardest thing to do once 10 years is passed it to re-gain that lust.

The way I see it, you are 30 and feel that your clock is ticking well sure it is but you still have time up your sleeves. I imagine the business takes a lot of energy and time, as you say it's only now that you get " a couple of hours" off, not a full day, a couple of hours.

Your Husband should go back to the Doctors and visit other options or medication or operation if need be as no one needs to live a life of feeling blah, it means his whole body doesn't feel that great not just his doo dah and I'm not sure if Viagra can be taken even on other medication.

Can you maybe do a shift alone visa versa where you both 1) get some time out for yourselves to do what you want and then 2) on the quietest day/night go out, leave a staff member it's important you can't work, work, work and not play.

You can get things back on track if both parties want to but taking Viagra is not the solution, it's revisiting the Doctor and discussing it and it's changing your life styles as best as you can to bring back intimacy into your lives and patience the most important key. If he thinks that you don't understand, is not patient, want him to perform he will feel pressure and he won't be able to.

[Euphoric]

Most meds. for erectile dysfunction are contraindications for persons taking nitrates and blood thinners. Have you considered that he may feel emasculated or less of a man because of impotence? His self=esteem may be in the gutter. He should definitely talk to his doctor and explain the side effects he is experiencing. There are alternative sexual activities that could be employed as a compromise if you both are willing to be open-minded and communicate your feelings and desires.

[gingerlynn]

Thank you for the input..and yes I agree with you in what you all said..i will think about doing the alone time as its looking more and more that I need to do this..not being selfish I just need time to myself with family and friends..

[CHANDLERS WISH]

It seems that you are in a place of confusion at present as your reply grabbed one area. Spending "you time" alone and with other people .

It could be good for you to take time out and re-assess everything but remember it's not his fault he had a heart attack and that's very scary, very. With love you stand by someone and work it out together, he's already mentioned what he thinks is the reason.

Be there for him after you take your time out and see what happens. You don't spend 10 years together for no reason and I believe that maybe he was/is trying to build a future for you both..

I'm sure you can work this out if you take the time.