[Mariekar]

Hi Everyone! I'm new here. Just thought of seeking an advice on the current issuebI am facing relative to my married life.

I'm married for less than a year. On the early stage of our marriage, I found out that my husband is having an affait with his officemate. I confronted him and he admitted. We agreed to separate for some time. And then we got back together. Things seemed to go well. Until just a few days a go, I found another evidence that he's still not over the affair. I found a letter in his bag (from the mistress). It was given to him that very same day. The letter says how thankful the mistress was that God let them meet and that she's sure that she won't cry and be hurt anymore from any heartache. I felt really numb while I was reading it. That same night, my husband told me he'll work overtime. Apparently, he didn't go on OT and I think they were together.

I don't know how to handle this. I really can't think well. I want to confront him again but I don't know how and what to tell. I haven't talked to anyone about this yet. I've been really crazy the past days researching for tips on how to handle this one. Until I came across this forum and decided to register and seek opinion.

I really hope that someone could help me know what to do next. Thank you in advance.

[Stillness]

I hate to ask a stupid question, but how is your relationship aside from the fact that he's likely cheated on you repeatedly within the first year of your marriage? Are you close? Good friends? Good communication? Good sex? Spend time together? Good with family?

This is just a horrible way to start things off. A lot of people, including me, find the first year of marriage to be one of the most difficult. But you don't have to share your man with another woman.

[effy2014]

My usual advice would be to communicate through the event with your husband or to go to therapy to repair the relationship. Stillness has asked all the right questions to determine whether there were holes in the relationship. I'd only add one more -- how long have you known him?

His conduct is more than reprehensible. You have been married for less than a year. Your husband has cheated on you and, after admitting to it, has continued the affair. How to handle it? If it were me, I'd clean out the bank accounts, pack my bags and the next communication with him would be from my divorce attorney. How can you ever rebuild a marriage from this outrageous breach of trust?

Now, if you have known him all your life, he has never given you cause to question his honor or trustworthiness in the past and he has a reason for going temporarily insane, I may have something different for you. Otherwise, start packing.