Taking my husband's surname

[Elena_EvilEye]

I've been married to my husband for 9 years and during that time I've kept my maiden name which is Portuguese. Now I want to take on my husband's surname. My hubby is of Russian Jewish descent and he has the most awesome Russian surname ever it ends in -ov so if I take it it will end in ova like Maria Sharapova, I think it will be awesome and it will go with my first name Elena because there are alot of Eastern European women who have the name Elena.

A part of me is looking forward to taking my husband's surname because it will show unity and we're on the same page and it's an expression of my love for the man. It's funny we don't plan on having children but our dog Rex on his collar says Rex [mylastname] looks like Rex will have to take my hubby's surname along with me so that we can be a united family.

Another part of me will slightly sad in giving up my Portuguese maiden name because of it's link with my family especially my dad who I'm close to and it seems as though I will be losing something, like I'm losing a bit of my identity. What makes this a bit more complicated is I'm a few weeks into a new job and my colleagues in the office are just getting to know me by my Portuguese name so for them to see I've changed my surname to my hubby's Russian name will be slightly confusing to them. So I might keep my maiden name for my job and my hubby's name for everything else.

I'm gonna love it when people look at my name and expect a Russian and they see a Portuguese woman as I do not look Russian.

What are your opinions and thoughts? have any of you had to deal with the name change dilemma

[Little]

I have a really, really weird maiden name. Only 90 of us in the US! So I kept it As a middle name, since I've never really cared for my given middle name, and took on my husband's very-common-and-normal last name. There are a million Little Marriednames out there! It's amazing! I love it But I got the best of both worlds by keeping my maiden name along. There are plenty of people with 4+ names, and anyways as I understand once you have gone by an "alias" it can't be taken away from you or treated like it's no longer your name, at least under US law.

Enjoy your new identity

[raindancer]

I wouldn't change my name. It's short and convenient. Besides, I've published works with my name and I'd have to be explaining people who I am, as opposed to have them know I am... myself. Anyway, where I live it isn't common for women to change their names.

[Pollon]

Changing your name is symbolic of different things to different people.

From a positive perspective it is changing to whom the woman gives her FIRST love and loyalty and who she is trusting to care for her.

For others the tradition symbolizes a change in "ownership" of the women or a giving up of her identity.

And for men, a woman who refuses to take his name it can be symbolic of her rejection or her refusal to unite with him.

It's a touchy subject that needs to be thought out and mutually agreed to lest it be a lingering sore.

Your reasons for changing your name are beautiful and meaningful. I have no idea how your husband felt about you not taking his name before, but I'd bet it means a great deal to him that you are now ready to take it. I think you should make a big deal out of it. Maybe a ceremony of some sort.

As far as your father goes, depending on his view of the tradition, he could well have thought your decision to keep your maiden name was a mistake. Nonetheless, retaining it as your middle name is always a beautiful gesture.

Your friends and work colleagues will figure it out soon enough. You can have two listings in the company directory or have two e-mail addresses if needed until everyone's on the same page.

Mazel Tov

[Something_Awesome]

If I was a woman, I think I'd do it. I think it's nice for a couple to share the same last name. Think of it like a team name and you guys are on the same team!

My GF is Brazilian so she too would be changing her last name to a Russian-esque name (she said she would).

Also, the first thing I thought when you said you would change your last name to a Russian last name, I thought how hot it would sound (before I even read what you thought about it). Most Russian last names would go great with your first name!

[Elena_EvilEye]

I've officially taken up my husband's surname now but my maiden name is now my middle name. I'm loving it.

[Motorguy]

I've officially taken up my husband's surname now but my maiden name is now my middle name. I'm loving it.

That's fantastic Elena, long time no see for me I know. Busy busy with the thanksgiving holiday with family along with other pointless stuff that got to be done. Myself and Donna are both Italian so it's good to carry on the Italian family name. While Donna, did not keep her maiden name as her middle name. I hope all has been good for you and husband.

[Motorguy]

I forgot to add my two oldest daughter took different last name. Because it's easier to pronounce then there real last names, all for there job as there both in the same field as they work together many times.

[Elena_EvilEye]

That's fantastic Elena, long time no see for me I know. Busy busy with the thanksgiving holiday with family along with other pointless stuff that got to be done. Myself and Donna are both Italian so it's good to carry on the Italian family name. While Donna, did not keep her maiden name as her middle name. I hope all has been good for you and husband.

hey Motor hope you had a wonderful thanksgiving with your family. My sister in New York had thanksgiving Portuguese style with her husbands's family. I'm still getting used to having a Russian esque last name and people mispronouncing it and changing my signature, but I do love the ova ending it has and it really goes with my first name.

It was a little sad getting rid of my maiden name as it reminded me of my amazing father and my Portuguese roots nonetheless I'm proud to have my husband's surname, I love him so much, we even had Rex take up his surname so that it's on his collar so that we are one family lol. I do love the fact that people will actually think I'm Russian now.

[jns]

I've officially taken up my husband's surname now but my maiden name is now my middle name. I'm loving it.

That is what I would have suggested. Alternatively, if my spouse was insistent on keeping her maiden name intact, I would seriously considering changing my surname to hers. As it was, my wife changed her last name to mine without consulting me (our first 7 months married were spent mostly apart and with little communications).

[TammyC1990]

I'm getting married in August and I'm planning to keep my maiden name. It's just part of my identity, who I am and who I think of myself as. Of course, since we are defined partly by circumstance and experience, I may end up adding my fiance's name at some point but I will never drop my maiden name. Since you have waited some years to make the change, perhaps this is your take on it too. The "unity" aspect IS important, but I can't renounce something that's so much a part of me. :-)

[kira]

I never found it a big deal. yay I got a shorter name to sign lol Our maiden name is just a long english translation that does not sound interesting. My sister was thinking of taking my mom's maiden name for her and her fiance because my grandpa's family produced no males so the name will cease to exist. My grandpa's family are the founders of the town and were involved in every thing, so it is rather sad that it will die out. My sister ended up deciding not to marry the guy and has just been lightly dating since. Dunno if it will happen, if she will take her husband's name, or if she's just never getting to the point of marriage.