[C]

Hi Again:

I just read your note...I can understand what you are saying and think you can find some hot libido...It is in you and cannot come out because you are holding yourself back. You can be hotter than you have ever been...You want to inside...You want to show him that he was a fool and baby, just look at me now..Forget the good girl...Find the bad girl.. Leave her at the bedroom door and Fu*k his brains out...Show him another side of you that will make him moan and make him do to you things that will turn you wild...

First I will say that I blog...I have my site up in my profile...I would be blogging here if they had the site up...In my blogs I write about my husband and my sexual acts of love...I do this to help women. I started this near three years ago...I have helped many women sexually in finding themselves. What started off as a blog site to express my new high sexuality for myself has ended up with many links all over the world..The last I looked I was in 26 countries...This year the way it looks I will have more than a million hits to the site. This both humbles me to the point that I want to cry and brings me to the height of thankfulness (if that is a word) in praising the almighty for giving me the gift of words to help both women and men...I cannot see how counseling can help you. It is you that has to help both of you. You are the catalyst in this marriage. Without you being who you are you are both doomed and you know it..

Among the many links to my site is, The Marriage Bed, so you can see this is looked at by all faith's. It does annoy me sometimes when I see my words quoted in new books that are coming out but just so slightly changed so they are their words...But at least my words are out on being a sexual woman...The pride I feel with this could make me explode. Now on my site I write sexual. I write of Life...I have many Topics and under Woman Sexual Things there are many ways of making love...I take you into my mind with me and tell you of who I am and what I do....Believe me honey, I am far from a Porn Queen but just a woman in love...BUT I act like a Porn Queen in bed because this is what makes your Libido be what it should be.

If you want to check this out, you will find some hot hints on making love...I wish they had a blog site on here but this is the best I can do for you...If you don't like it then I will say I am sorry....I still laugh at one man on The Marriage Bed, who said I was a "Granny With An Imagination". Boy did I make him pay for that with a blog I put on my site...Drew my hits up to 1,560 in one day...

Best of luck and I think you will be just great....Since I came so darn close to losing my husband, my dedication is tenfold........Take Care, Caroline

I wish you success with your journey on this path of your life.. and i am sure whilst i could add to thoughts on the sexual side, i won't as the other's tell a great story and you'll enjoy reading theirs.

Chandlers Wish: A story is a fable, falsehood and many other things...I speak the truth. Every word I say can be documented...I speak with Dr. Patti Britton who teaches at a California University and is President of the ASSECT a 2,000 strong Membership of Sexual Therapist's. My husband and I had brunch with her two years ago this July in St. Louis, Missouri...We drove up to see her where she presided over their convention. She will be our House Guest this Summer. I speak with her every two weeks..She is my proof of who and what I am..... Please be careful about what you refer to as my story....You are barking up the wrong tree there....

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Chandlers Wish: A story is a fable, falsehood and many other things...I speak the truth. Every word I say can be documented...I speak with Dr. Patti Britton who teaches at a California University and is President of the ASSECT a 2,000 strong Membership of Sexual Therapist's. My husband and I had brunch with her two years ago this July in St. Louis, Missouri...We drove up to see her where she presided over their convention. She will be our House Guest this Summer. I speak with her every two weeks..She is my proof of who and what I am..... Please be careful about what you refer to as my story....You are barking up the wrong tree there....

I was on a cancer thread tonight, and i told her, i wish and hope caroline reads this as she has experienced those doctors.

A "story" to me is a journey a story of the truth, a story of hope and a story that is like when i want to read a book of the "truth". Just like i told this person, i will not answer her question now, she has one: in my opinion and i am deeply happy for her, forgiven her husband and moved on, infidelity is not an issue yet she " highlighted it", i have also read where she has stated, i would be interested to know if your husband ever cheated on you, as you think with logic, ie:- bet you haven't been cheated on. My response in retrospect was this, she has been married, 4 years? I was in a realtionship for 12, and was cheated on... I do know feelings as much as i know that "feeling" still i won't judge. The thread she is referring to, we both wrote a comment on, we both felt for this woman, and not the answer this person wrote. SHe has stated that she feels that about "women" regardless. This means, that she has forgiven her husband but not the woman or any woman that dares to have an affair with a married man, it is their fault. I refrained, like you from answering, my "feelings"... I do not judge... it is not my right... And i watch this particular thread, grow and get out of that rut and i feel proud, at what stage do you CW and recall what you wrote and maybe agree she sees anger as i said about women, not what her man did..... i re-read it.....

Lastly, i never referred to you, i said " others" and the again reason was because, i do not wish to answer this woman anymore. In my opinion she is judging, she as we have, has not appologised for her words to that thread, whilst i wrote to that thread and said, do not judge her, she is hurt, she has stated, i won't take it back. I never believed in a woman having an affair with another woman. Again, i ask that you read your response.

So, i hope that you can see, i again, admire you, i am of my own opinion, but nothing you have ever written is in my eyes, wrong, as i do not judge, unless you attack me.

Story:- Yes, from reading hers, she is not of interest what so ever over what happened. She doesn't care, what he did. She does feel, in my opinion upset over what that woman did, but all she wants to know is " so how do i make him desire me and me him as i can't think of him at all sexually. Listen to other's stories,, they are better than me, why? Because yours is in the now, mine is in the past and because frankly, she believe's i have never been cheated on, and poses the question, and i'm just not willing to answer to this thread anymore.

Hope i clarified that better and frankly this is where it ends.

[just4me]

Thank you both CarolineWH & CW for your responses. However, I just want to clarify some things. I'm not still hurting about the "infidelity"; I just lack the sexual desire to be with my husband. It's no longer a hurtful feeling, it's simply one of the consequences of his act. He's definitely changed since that point, and I don't believe that is something that will happen again. But, in order for that not to happen again, I somehow have to gain some sexual interest or we'll in up in divorce. By the way, we've done counseling (regular, christian, retreats) you name it, we've done it. But my libido is zero to none!!!!
To answer about the other blog I responded in about the affair. I told the truth. She knew he was married, and even threatened to tell his wife. So CW at what point is she no longer the victim? I have always felt the same way about affairs, even before it happened in my marriage. I wasn't bashing her, but given the circumstance I wasn't going to hold her hand either. If I may ask CW, has your husband committed adultery? I ask that because I can tell thru your response that you are replying from a logical viewpoint, not experience.

Seeking, in my own defense,,i did not ever threaten to tell his wife, i threatened to tell the other person he was also having an affair with while he was seeing me as well.. Thats what I said. I'm not whining as that I am just a victim, I did what I did and am now getting out of it. You judge me way to harshly when you don't know all the circumstances. I asked for help and guidance not to be condemed for what I did.

[kimberlyp1964]

Seeking 32 if you do not find him sexually attractive, then why forgive and stay? You haven't been married that long. My opinion only...forgive yes, but stay? No Way!
You ultimately have to make the decision that is best for you, but faking a marriage can be harder than the real thing.
I was married for 5 years before I realized that they only thing we had really in common were the 2 kids.
We divorced and almost immediately I tripped over my husband of now 20 years.

[Geetally]

The infidelity may not be the reason why your sex drive has decreased. Do you have other parameters that may have affected your sex drive (e.g., kids, work etc)? It is very normal as I hear this from all my married friends that after a few years of being married your sex drive will decrease. This is especially true after children or if you are going through some form of stress. One thing I would tell you, if you are not giving it to him, he may get it somewhere else. When I'm not in the mood I just do a blow job, it's easy and I get to move on with what I was doing. Sorry for being so blunt.

Geetally

Please help!!! I'm 32 years old and I've been married for 4 years now. My husband and I have become complete opposites pertaining to sex. Almost three years ago he confessed to cheating, and our sex life has tremendously deminished since that revelation. Even though I think I forgive him, I just am no longer turned on by him or sexual contact for that matter. Is this normal considering it's been three years later? I am seeking all suggestions so that "infidelity" doesn't strike my home again. Is it mental bondage? I ask that because even if I try to masturbate, I have no sensation or urge. Is there anyone who has experienced the same circumstance and was able to restore from it?

[commonsense]

Please help!!! I'm 32 years old and I've been married for 4 years now. My husband and I have become complete opposites pertaining to sex. Almost three years ago he confessed to cheating, and our sex life has tremendously deminished since that revelation. Even though I think I forgive him, I just am no longer turned on by him or sexual contact for that matter. Is this normal considering it's been three years later? I am seeking all suggestions so that "infidelity" doesn't strike my home again. Is it mental bondage? I ask that because even if I try to masturbate, I have no sensation or urge. Is there anyone who has experienced the same circumstance and was able to restore from it?

You could be doing a silent "punishment". This is basically getting him back for the infidelity without saying a word. Also, it's a form of protecting yourself from getting hurt again. If you can bring yourself to completely trust him again (that will take time) your feelings will come back. He needs to win your confidence in him back. I'm assuming you have resolved what caused him to stray in the first place. You also want to make sure it's not a physical hormone problem also.