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Perfect compatible couple, the percentage is rare isn't it??

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  • Perfect compatible couple, the percentage is rare isn't it??

    Last edited by Findingluckystar; 01-03-2015, 06:51 PM. Reason: Not needed,waste of time

  • Who wrote that all couples have to have this perfectly aligned relationship? I think it would be a pretty boring world if we all acted and thought alike. You don't know that your friend has the perfect relationship. There may be much you don't know about the two of them. For instance, although he is affectionate he could be a gambler, he could be a closet drinker, he may be a sports fanatic which drives her crazy. You don't know.

    What are you doing to change things when you get home? It seems like he is doing something on his tablet or watching TV because there is nothing else to do. He has gotten into a routine because of your routine but now you are not now happy with it. It may be up to you to do something different to get a different reaction from him. Maybe you could schedule an activity that you both enjoy. However, remember he does have to start work earlier than you and that should be taken into consideration.

    What do happy couples have that makes them happy? For one thing I think they are happy about themselves, they believe in themselves and trust what their inner self tells them. They are not totally dependant upon the other person for their own happiness, it comes from within. They are secure in the knowledge that what they want for themselves and each other is the best not the worst that life has to offer. Happy couples are there for each other, especially in the dark times. They rejoice in the others successes. They respect the others choices.

    In your example above the man doesn't do car maintenance or house repairs and is content living in an apartment. Home ownership is not for everyone. Car repair isn't something everyone can do either, this doesn't mean they are not happy.

    I think you are looking at the surface of things. You need to look deeper and you need to define happiness for yourself. Then perhaps you'll be able to take a better measurement of what or how happy you are.
    That which we forget may as well never really happened.


    • I think continuing perfect compatibility is almost a myth. It may happen for many couples for a short time and then it is gone. Perfect compatibility isn't needed. Good enough compatibility that has each partner shifting their position enough to stay up with the other works.

      Is there a reason for the minimal communications in your relationship? Is there an underlying disagreement on sex? On how the kids are raised? On what?

      In my case, I tell my wife I love her and will see her after work every day. The times that saying it are tough, such as after a disagreement, are the most important times to say it and believe it. The disagreement will pass, it is not a reason to damage the relationship.
      I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
      Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

      From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia


      • JNS and I both took the time to craft well thought out replies to your post only to discover that you have deleted it as a waste of time. In the future if you don't like our responses why not just ignore them? In this way other persons may benefit from well thought out replies. Is there a reason why you don't like what we have said? Has it hit too close to home? Is there some other reason? Please let us know so that we don't make this same mistake and reply to other of your posts only to have you delete them?
        That which we forget may as well never really happened.


        • Well Charet I like how you think it's so right.Not all couples are going to live this perfect across the broad relationship. Some have different hobbies away from each other. Certain things will upset a spouse thinking one ignore them and so on. I think a lot of couples get married that should not get married and just having great sex is not a good reason to get married be compatible with hobbies and ideas that you enjoy doing together. But most of the time it's ok to do stuff away from each other this is a very healthy relationship. Myself and wife live this type of relationship I do my thing she does her's but we do lots together as a couple as well. Maybe that's why we been married 27 years now just for this reason why.
          When out driving always turn left. Then, should you become lost, you can find your way home by reversing the procedure and always turning right.


          • It's true, OP. Because we don't like being alone. We would like to find the perfect fit, but we meet someone who meets some of our criteria and we settle for it, because we know the probability of finding someone who would tick all the boxes is negligible.

            Life can be great with a non perfect fit. It's enough to be realistic and to do not try to change that person into a perfect fit and make his life a hell. Happy people are good to be around. I keep my unperfect match man at his happiest. The pay off is our mutual joy and peace.

            And for the boxes we didn't tick of each other, we're free to look elsewhere. I'm talking about everything. For instance, I don't drink alcohol and I don't like being at places people drink. My man is perfectly free to go drink. I don't tell him when, nor with whom, how many hours, etc. I'm into arts he isn't. I go to my activities without him. Travel, we both love, but my work allows a lot more vacation time. I travel alone. He never tried to stop me. Sexually, too. When we want something different, we're free and encouraged to go look for it with somebody else.


            • There is truth in what everyone has written. Jns is right that there is no perfect match. The best we can do is "match" those qualities which are vitally important and to communicate through the traits that are challenging to each other. As CW points out, it doesn't mean "sameness"; sometimes the strengths of our partners are weaknesses we find in ourselves. For me, the key to long term happiness is the ability to adapt and grow with my SO and to be able to listen and try to meet each other's needs and desires.
              "The only consistent feature of all of your dissatisfying relationships is you." Despair.com "Dysfunction"



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