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This is him

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  • This is him

    Ya, this is him , my hb

    he is never romantic , we've been married for over 16 years, I can still count with my fingers how many times in the past he has been thoughtful about sending little romantic gestures ( gifts, cards) for any special occasions. He just has a thought of special occasions are simple, just go out for supper. But I like more than that. I told him, he probably not listening.
    This past wedding anniversary we had, I got a card (Ya,I should be happy) and 2 bags of 1 of my favourite chips. Right, I pulled out my chair in the a.m and saw these chips on chair, right, I'm thinking, I eat these kind of chips probably 100 times a year, so I should be happy now that to receive something on our anniversary vs those years that with nothing?
    the card I got , I torn it to pieces right after reading it. I don't know why but I was very upset. The card was full of pre printed massages , all that he wrote in it was " to my dearest wife" and end with his name, I don't know, maybe I'm a difficult woman now or Ive given up on him.

    he's never sensible, every now and then, I feel like hugging or just cuddle up with my love one. From day 1 since I've been with him, he never shows this kinda of " love" . I sat right next to him, I cuddled him, nothing in return. He left for bathroom and back , never cuddled me back etc. I slowly loosing interest towards that gestures & kept myself busy since .

    1 time in the past, there was this huge thing of 1 time in so many years of meteor showers. We stayed up till very late past 1-2am to watch this show. I felt nothing watching it with him. I thought it should be amazing and romantic, but I felt sleepy instead.

    He's always negative. Kids complaint enough, God knows how much I've gotten from his negativity. I don't think he can ever change much from his negativity. I've Botox to reduce my crow feet, he never complimented nor mentioning anything until 1 day I happily told him , he Cokely said " I noticed" but it ended there. Then he came back & said" won't you worry about long term side effects later, cancer causing etc" , I was mad and said ," I rather die early beautiful" .
    We watched a recent movie by Jodie Foster, he commented she looks old, well I said, " she's doing pretty good at her age at over 50's" then we seen Arnold Swartzenegger, he said again," he's very old now". I wonder if hb knows he's same age as Arnold actually.
    The kids helped to pull garbage cans in , he complaint they were placed too far apart. Kids talked back by saying " I won't pull back those cans anymore next time, you can do it perfectly" . To me, I probably will start saying " thank you " first before any complaint.
    I used to never understand why some women said men are a waste of time and lots going homosexual, now I understand why.

  • Was he like this before you two got married?
    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
    ...
    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

    From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

    Comment


    • Well Findingluckystar I would be sitting down with your husband and be up front on how you feel. That your not happy with him and his behavior towards you and the kids. But if you don't grab the bull by the horns then your husband will continue with his not caring attitude towards you and the kids. Life is why to short to feel like you do.
      When out driving always turn left. Then, should you become lost, you can find your way home by reversing the procedure and always turning right.

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