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just couldn't do it

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  • just couldn't do it

    be married to someone 25 yrs older than me, it would be like being married to your father
    don't know how Melania does it or how Gifford did it

    just seems like too much of a gap

  • Its a good thing for me and my siblings that my mother married my father even though there was a 15 year age difference.
    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
    ...
    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

    From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

    Comment


    • 15 yrs isn't 25

      Comment


      • It is most of a generation of 20 years.
        I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
        ...
        Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

        From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

        Comment


        • age has never much mattered to me in dating. it's one of the last considerations.
          So many more important qualities.

          Comment


          • Originally posted by atskitty2 View Post
            age has never much mattered to me in dating.
            you're dating younger, bigger advantage for the woman

            man more likely to live longer, sex more likely to last longer (in more than one way)......big advantages

            Comment


            • disadvantages too...lol.

              I've dated older men also. Most recently a man 53. He was young minded and active, so it rarely crossed my mind.

              Comment


              • I had a little thing with a guy who was over 20 years older. It was fun while it lasted. He was mature, romantic, chivalrous, etc. It wouldn't have lasted long term though. But it was about more than just the age difference. That was a factor though. I have a friend who married a man 20+ years older than her. It was fine until she got to her 50's and he got to his 70's. She's still young, vibrant, actively living life. He has slowed down tremendously, his physical health has taken a big decline. He uses a motorized scooter and can hardly walk on his own. She bathes him, etc. It's a rough place in life to be for a 50 year old. Sure, the same thing could happen if you're married to someone your age or younger, but the chances are pretty much inevitable when you marry someone 20 years older. It will bother some people, others will bear the burden gladly.

                "Be what you're looking for."

                Comment


                • I've considered that BD, especially with my health issues. I've thought it may be more prudent to date older men, as I could become a burden to anyone at some point.
                  I just believe that would be such a negative reason to date someone. It should be about dating and enjoying the company of someone, none of us knows what the future holds.
                  Definitely crosses my mind tho

                  Comment


                  • Although, no one knows the future, it is certain with a 25 yr difference in spouses ages, that it will affect the marriage.
                    When one is ready to retire and travel at 65, will the 90 yr old spouse be able to have fun and travel alongside the 65 yr old?
                    We have neighbors that are 66 and they are travelling everywhere, to Asia, and other parts of world and constantly visiting their kids, and entertaining. If one of them was 90, do not think they'd be doing all that activity. They are out walking everyday, fairly fast, also. The few 90 yr old people I know use walkers and have difficulty walking.
                    So just when the 65 yr old is ready to break free from the work world, their 90 yr old spouse is highly unlikely to join in the fun retirement phase.

                    Comment


                    • And although jns parents had 15 yr difference, that's seems better than 25 yr difference. Maybe with early retirement a 60 yr old spouse could still be travelling around with a mobile 75 yr old spouse.

                      Jns were your parents able to travel together when they retired?

                      Comment


                      • They never traveled, really. My father probably was never more than 300 miles from where he was born in Buffalo, NY. My mother went to Oregon on a trip as a teenager and out here to California when I flew her out one time. She also visited my sister in Florida and brother in North Carolina. But as my father got older, she didn't want to be away from him too long. But traveling for pleasure - never. My mother was never sure that she would outlive my father until it happened.
                        I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
                        ...
                        Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

                        From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

                        Comment


                        • What if they don't intend to retire?

                          For me, it just makes no sense to think that far ahead. I try not to be foolish in choices, but to make major decisions based on what may or may not work in 20 yrs...I just won't do that.

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by atskitty2 View Post
                            What if they don't intend to retire?
                            .
                            read recently the actual average age of retirement now is 60
                            of course, that includes people who lost jobs before retirement age, as well as people having to go on disability, not just those who willingly retired

                            in our neighborhood, of people who have retired, most of them retired early.....due to job loss, one took a deal to retire early from company

                            I know, however, many are unable to retire, a lot of cashiers and baggers at stores in our area appear to be over retirement age and seem to have trouble standing/moving

                            Comment


                            • I think my father retired around 70. By retired I mean he no longer worked for other people. He and my mother still did small crop farming. That gradually cut back in his 80s but never really stopped. The ability to retire was due to spendthrift habits built up from the Great Depression and the WWII years. Social Security was enough and even allowed savings to be added to.
                              I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
                              ...
                              Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

                              From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

                              Comment

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