Women's Health Interactive Forums

  • If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.


No announcement yet.

Why He Doesn't Want Perfect?

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Why He Doesn't Want Perfect?

    He DoesnÂ’t REALLY Want the Perfect Woman
    He Wants These 3 Things from You InsteadÂ…

    How much time do you spend trying to be the kind of woman you think men want?

    If youÂ’re like most women, itÂ’s a LOT. You spend all this time making yourself look sexy and attractive.

    All this time presenting yourself as fun, interesting, worldly, and not needy in the slightest. You spend all this time showing him just how good youÂ’d be for himÂ… How amazing his future would be if he chose you as the woman by his sideÂ…

    And it doesnÂ’t work. It never works. WHY? Why do you work so hardÂ… And the guy in your life just takes you for granted, if he even notices you at all? ItÂ’s probably because heÂ’s immature, right? He canÂ’t recognize a good thing until itÂ’s gone. Or maybeÂ… ItÂ’s because youÂ’ve been doing all the work for him.

    If He DoesnÂ’t Work for Your Relationship, He WonÂ’t Value It


    What men value most are those things they have to work hard to get.
    Hand a man a college diploma, and he wonÂ’t value it as much as if heÂ’d had to put in years of study and effort to earn it.

    Hand a man the perfect girlfriend, and he wonÂ’t value her as much as if heÂ’d had to woo her for weeks just to get her to go out with him. This is why playing hard to get works.

    But, as youÂ’ve probably already noticedÂ…

    ThereÂ’s a BIG problem with playing hard to get. That strategy stops working once heÂ’s actually got you.

    Something happens when guys decide they’ve won you. It’s almost like they think, “Game over.” Their minds are already on their next challenge. What is going on?!

    And how can you stop it from wrecking your relationship?

    It’s Not Just You—ALL Women Experience This
    (ThatÂ’s Why They Ask for Help)

    Many women give up on love. They never let themselves get too close to a man, for fear of scaring him off. But other women try a different approach. They get help. Relationship coach James Bauer is one of the people they turn to.

    He noticed that many clients were coming to him, complaining about guys who were blowing hot and cold. Everything would be going great, and then it was likeÂ…

    Something would change overnight.

    A guy whoÂ’d been warm, affectionate and interested would suddenly become distant. HeÂ’d no longer have any time for her. He wouldnÂ’t smile in greeting. HeÂ’d stop making eye contact. His kisses were brusque. Wanting to help his clients, James investigated.

    And what he discovered made sense of everything. He knew why these men were backing away. He knew what they needed Â… and what they werenÂ’t getting.

    It didnÂ’t come down to anything wrong with these women.

    Rather, it all came down to something he called “The Hero Instinct.”

    Most Women Do Something that Drives Men AwayÂ…
    Without Ever Realizing It

    One of the most wonderful things about women is how naturally caring they are.

    Look at you. YouÂ’re always there for your guy. You look after him. You always make time for him. YouÂ’d do anything for him.

    You never realize that, in the processÂ…

    YouÂ’re actually taking something away from him. YouÂ’re taking away his purpose.

    You see, he wants to be your hero. He doesnÂ’t want you to be his hero.

    Men love heroes. Look at how many grown men are still fascinated by Marvel comics and superhero movies.

    Every man on Earth, from the time he was a boy, dreamed of growing up to be the kind of hero who would save the world—and get the girl at the same time.

    Most men donÂ’t get to indulge their world-saving side in their 9-5 jobs.

    Circumstances donÂ’t call for them to rip off their corporate ties and spring into action, revealing their superman side. Maybe they canÂ’t save the world. But they can still get the girl.

    Getting the girl is a worthy challenge for an ordinary guy with the heart of a superhero. It takes superhuman confidence. Superhuman charm. Superhuman immunity to pain. Now, all he needs to find isÂ…

    A girl who needs a hero. Do You Need a Hero? Let me guessÂ… ThatÂ’s not you.

    YouÂ’re strong. YouÂ’re independent. You can fix a leaky faucet. You can drive a stick shift. You can take care of yourself. YouÂ’re never going to make that Jerry Maguire mistake of looking for a man to complete you.

    Instead, you have a lot to offer a man. YouÂ’re generous. Kind. Loving. Giving to a fault. All you want is to find a man whoÂ’s willing to receive all you have to give.

    And thatÂ’s why heroes arenÂ’t showing up in your life. ThatÂ’s why youÂ’ve ended up with so many takers instead. Guys who take everything you have and leave you high and dry. If you want a hero, then you need to advertise for one. HereÂ’s how.

    3 Ways You Can Invite a Hero into Your Life, Starting Today

    1. Ask a guy for help.

    Ask him for advice on buying a new computer. Ask him to listen to that weird rattling sound thatÂ’s started up in your car. Ask him to reach something on the top shelf. Then thank him warmly, with a great big smile of appreciation. No, that doesnÂ’t make you needy. It makes you a woman with space for a man in her life.

    2. Take pleasure in male company.

    Guys love women who appreciate men for just being men. So what if his apartment is a shrine to sports? So what if he spends hours on his fantasy football team? So what if his idea of a clean shirt is the one with the fewest wrinkles? HeÂ’s a guy. ItÂ’s okay. You donÂ’t need him to be more like you, because youÂ’ve got the feminine side of the gender equation covered.

    3. Let him earn your respect.

    Superheroes love challenges. They donÂ’t want to be given a gold medal just for showing up. They donÂ’t want your love handed to them on a plate. They want to earn it. ThereÂ’s one thing they crave even more than a womanÂ’s eternal enduring love: A challenge. So give him opportunities to prove himself. You donÂ’t have to do the work of winning him over. Sit back, relax,
    and allow him the pleasure of winning your admiration.

    Keep Learning

    If that sounds like fun to you, link removed is something you can learn once, but then use for the rest of your life.
    Last edited by atskitty2; 09-27-2017, 02:17 PM.

  • Great post!


    • I agree, a great post.
      I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
      Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

      From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia



      Womens Health orange logoGet The Newsletter

      Receive our passionately crafted, medically reviewed articles and insights — the stuff nobody else talks about but you want to know — delivered right to your inbox.

      Latest Activity On Our Forums


      • Birth Control & Infertility

        My Wife has recently started a combined Contraceptive pill ****Yaz**** almost 4 months ago. We are recently married and want a long term Contraception....

        Today, 11:02 AM By Mr.King
      • Birth Control & Infertility

        My Wife has recently started a combined Contraceptive pill *Yaz* almost 4 months ago. We are recently married and want a long term Contraception. I have...

        Today, 10:57 AM By Mr.King
      • Reply to Have you ghosted someone?

        Vanessa R. When I met the guy I've been dating, I actually asked him about his ghosting history the first time we met. He didn't really even know what...

        Yesterday, 03:16 PM By atskitty2
      • Reply to Have you ghosted someone?

        I truly appreciate the insight and feedback, JonnyR , especially coming from a guy. I've been fortunate enough in recent months to come across a few "rare...

        01-14-2021, 01:38 PM By Vanessa R.
      • Reply to Have you ghosted someone?

        Very true atskitty2 ! You bring up a good point about how easy it is for someone to walk away in all facets. Of course, the fact that there are people...

        01-14-2021, 12:21 PM By Vanessa R.

      Latest Topics On Our Forums


      • Birth Control & Infertility

        My Wife has recently started a combined Contraceptive pill ****Yaz**** almost 4 months ago. We are recently married and want a long term Contraception....

        Today, 11:02 AM By Mr.King
      • Birth Control & Infertility

        My Wife has recently started a combined Contraceptive pill *Yaz* almost 4 months ago. We are recently married and want a long term Contraception. I have...

        Today, 10:57 AM By Mr.King
      • Opinions needed please ! HPV/bartholin cyst??

        Hi guys , this is my first post here I’m hoping someone can give me some insight or maybe you have been through something similar an can share ! I’m...

        01-08-2021, 04:05 AM By Nikkie92
      • Got a Vulva? Let's talk wanking!

        I'm putting together a piece on hands-free masturbation and would love to hear from people with vulvas. I'm looking for quotes or stories about early...

        01-03-2021, 01:44 AM By Wednesday L.F.
      • I just want some assurance.


        So these are questions for all the ladies. For those who engage in anal sex, how many years have you been having it? Have you've had...

        12-30-2020, 08:01 PM By yrtxzh5a47