I've been with my partner for three years, he was my first proper relationship so I fell hard fast and over looked some things which normally would bother me.we
Moved in together straight away and got very serious very fast.
Over the last few months I've started pushing back more and being open about how I feel about things where I usually would have said nothing
We have not been getting on very well and have been arguing a lot more.probable because I'm not willing to be a push over and am voicing my opinion.
I love him and we really are so compatible in ways but he always says things like I can't wait to see what you look like when you get down to your goal weight / when you loose all the weight. He also is very quick to pass remarks on what I wear and it really gets me down.(was wearing a dress one night and he was like that's ridiculous it's nice but when you get to your goal weight)
I have told him all this and he says it's better for him to be honest with me.
So a few weeks ago I was very close to walking out after finding he had googled my girlfriend has gotten fat what should i do..
I was absolutely devastated and cried my eyes out as I have put on a lot of weight and am really not comfortable in myself(not to mention he does not want to anything with me anymore sexually..)
He begged me to stay and said he was googling something else and came across that topic on a forum.
Since then I have been dissecting the whole relationship and being like ********** this i deserve to be loved exactly as I am (despite the fact that yes I want to lose the weight anyway)
I've been really down over the last few months and realise that I have nothing outside of work and the relationship and I guess this is why I always made sure it worked.
So anyway we got into another silly argument and he went to work so I had a look on his laptop and turned into the type of person I hoped I would never be.
He had pictures of women he had down loaded from people's Facebook pages. PG but sexy poses they were downloaded years ago but why does he still have them?
One album was of his friends girlfriend.. and one album was downloaded last year.
I don't know what I'm doing and I'm afraid to throw it all away but I want the fairy tale I want to be wanted as I am and not when I've lost 20lbs..
Sorry this is such a lot.. I have noone to talk to about this so I'm driving myself insane
Any advice would be appreciated.
I know that no relationship is perfect and although I love him I don't know what to think any more.
If he doesn't want me at my worst he doesn't deserve me at my best and all that .. and to add to that he has gained the same amount of weight but I have never been negative to him about this and never would
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