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Career Mom Guilt Is Real. Have You Ever Experienced It?

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  • Career Mom Guilt Is Real. Have You Ever Experienced It?

    Mom guilt is real! I love my profession and I love being a mom, but sometimes balancing the two can leave us moms feeling less than enough in both.

    If you've ever experienced mom guilt, whether as a SAHM or career mom, we'd love to hear your experience. How did you learn to deal with the guilt? Have you found a balance?

    I wrote this article to share my experience with mom guilt, how to understand it and ultimately, how to overcome it.

    You can read the entire article here:

    https://www.womens-health.com/mom-guilt
    Last edited by admin; 03-06-2020, 10:18 AM.

  • I think if I were a mum, I would feel career mum guilt. Because I am a fairly independant woman and would work to provide for my children. I don't have any children, though. However, I can understand wanting to work yet still clothe and feed them without missing out on their childhood because I was working. I suppose it is a balancing act: and my kids would have to understand that I had to pay the bills. And that I wanted to give them a childhood where they have money to wear new shoes and have money to celebrate their birthday and all the other things they would need.

    Nothing can disspell the guilt, but working is necessary and I absolutely believe they would understand in later years.

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    • I'm not a mom....but I do already know that I will feel career mom guilt if I ever have children. I feel guilt now as a career DOG mom. Lol. I am constantly feeling like I don't do enough with her....that she doesn't get to have fun enough...and I know her life is quickly fleeting and I want it to be the absolute BEST. But the truth is, everything I do is enough for her...it's just never going to be enough for ME.

      I see my mom-friends go through this guilt. And for many, they aren't in careers because they are passionate about their careers like Rebecca is, but because they don't have a choice, financially. I suspect it makes a difference if you're a career mom because you absolutely love what you do vs because you feel you don't have a choice.

      Nonetheless, these are great tips for career moms who are tired of feeling like they're never enough.
      "Be what you're looking for."

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      • Indeed this is a tricky topic. I have come to learn that the "sweet spot" actually may not exist in motherhood. There are seasons when one must primarily focus on the children and others when focusing on the career is the main goal. While one never completely neglects one area for the other, there are certainly times when it may feel that way at the home or in the office.

        I think the best suggestion is to be patient, flexible, and loving with oneself. Know that as a career mom you are doing your best, and yes, your children will eventually thank you for it even if it is not today, but rather years down the road.

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        • I think, too, that there is such a thing as Career Dad Guilt: I write this because my dad worked his whole life and throughout me and my siblings childhood. Even though he did all that work - plus achieved a mathematics degree from the Open University - the guilt was there. Any parent - whether the mother or father - has that feeling of not wanting to miss their kid's childhood. Of course we were at school all day, but my dad made up for in later years: and still does.

          Back to mums: career guilt is very real. Because your children only have one childhood. So I agree that any parent working full-time should be flexible and also not feel too guilty. Everyone needs to make money and have the best life they can afford. Work is usually the only way to do this. It is a balancing act and is very possible with help from friends, teachers and family.

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          • "Should I quit my job?" is a question I constantly ask myself when I no longer have the energy or desire to balance my work and home-life.
            Last edited by Hannah Bagrich; 01-08-2020, 06:36 AM.

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            • I've often felt bad for not having career mom guilt. Instead of feeling bad when I went off to work, I was often excited for it. But also, there were long periods of my life when my ability to work was the only thing keeping a roof over our head and food in the fridge - in a very literal way. So it was an absolute necessity and I recognized this was what I had to do to be the best possible mom.

              That being said, when work has interfered with kid stuff (performances, activities, etc), I have felt temporary guilt, of course. I don't want to miss supporting my child. But it didn't extend to me feeling bad because I had to work overall.

              All of that being said, since my children were born (they're currently 16 and 12), I've had flexibility. My last corporate job was happy to give me the time to be with my kids whenever possible (barring business trips and big obligations). Now I work for myself and I manage my own schedule so I work around my kids needs. It also helps that my kids are older now and need me in less time-intensive ways than they did when they were younger - they definitely still need me, but it's more for support and as their chauffeur than anything else. But even when they were little, I didn't feel guilty when I dropped them off at daycare so I could go to work or when I had to work late and couldn't tuck them in at night. I missed them, but I also felt like what I was doing was worth it, too.

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              • I had kids when I was in the Marines. I went on tour 3 times to a war zone while my partner put her career on hold. And again when I got WIC. We are long separated now and happily co-parenting but her career has increased 10 fold and literally started from the bottom. The point is that life is a long time and anyone can start a new career and do well at any time. My ex is a constant inspiration to not only me but my children.

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                • As a non-parent outsider looking in, I have to wonder if a lot of this guilt comes down to societal expectations. Moms are expected to do most of the child-centric activities whether she’s working or not. I’d hope that before any mom gives up her job, she’s able to examine whether her partner should be helping more, or if a part-time nanny is an option.

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                  • I heard some moms work because they don't want to be home with their kids all day & working gives them a break from kids

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