[Kimroger]

Hi, first time posting.
I've been married to my wife for 24yrs now. She has never required me to wear a condom to have sex with her. After our 2nd child was born she was fixed as we planned to not have anymore children. Over the last 10yrs her sex drive has diminished to the point of us only having sex once or twice a year. The last time we had sex she said I needed to wear a condom. When I asked her why? She said she was tired of having to clean up the mess afterwards even though it didn't seek to be an issue the last 24yrs. This is causing a strain on our relationship as I didn't think at this point in our relationship it would be required for us to be intimate. I'm just wondering if this issue is common or if their could be more to it. She recently said she didn't like when I touched her breasts either as apparently I'd been doing that wrong for the past 24yrs too. Apart from the sexual issues we have a good relationship and enjoy spending time together. She is currently 47 and believes she is going through menopause. Could that be a cause for her change? Thank you for any advice anyone can offer me.

[Wednesday L.F.]

Hi and welcome to our forum!

What you describe sounds frustrating. It’s very possible, even probable, that menopause has sapped your wife’s sex drive—at least for now. If talking it through with her doesn’t help, a doctor may have suggestions to improve her comfort level and possibly find solutions to her diminished sex drive. Is she willing to go?

[Kimroger]

Hi, thanks for the response. She has other medical issues, Double stomach hernias and vertigo. She has said she would be willing to go to the doctors about the sex/libido issues but not until she has got her other problems fixed first which could take a long time with waiting times etc... I mentioned the issues to our family doctor but she still wants to wait. I forgot to mention she also won't kiss more than a peck on the lips as she feels kissing passionately would cause me to "be in her comfort bubble". Yes, the whole issue is frustrating and she has even suggested I should just find someone else who can give me what I want. I have no interest in that as I married her when I was 18 and she has been the only woman I've ever loved or been with.