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My boyfriend can't finish while having sex with me

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  • My boyfriend can't finish while having sex with me

    Hello everyone,
    I am 52, my boyfriend is 53. Him and I have been in a committed relationship for 10 months. From the beginning our sex life has been hot and heavy. He tells me he loves me, he loves my body and that I turn him on in every way. I believe him because he shows me in our everyday lives together how much he loves and adores me. I feel the same way about him. The problem is that within these 10 months, we have sex including foreplay, touching, oral, toys and vaginal at least 5-6 times a week usually for at least an hour or more each time but he has only finished inside me 4 times. I can get off when we have sex but he does not. He can masterbate watching porn and he can finish after 30 min or so but can't get off when we have sex. I pride myself on my oral skills and love doing that for him but I cant even get him off that way. He swears its not me and that he doesnt know why he cant finish. It is really starting to make me feel inadequate and not even interested in having sex. He still wants sex alot because he loves pleasing me and gets upset because he doesnt understand why I just dont want to. I try to explain to him that its no fun for me because I feel like I leave him dissatisfied. I dont want this to tear a great relationship apart...any advice is much appreciated.

  • It sure sounds to me like it is NOT YOU. Sex 5-6x per week is way above average for couples your age. We are similar ages and 2x is the norm for us. If he was not interested in you, then he would be turning you down. Relax and enjoy it.
    3 things... 1. Porn - He may have trained his brain over a long period to associate porn with his orgasm. Not intentionally. I would quit the porn and focuse on my GF.
    2. Kinks - does he have some sort of fetish may he has not dilvulged? Worth a conversation.
    3. If he/you are willing... Abstain from all sexual activity for ~week. Obviously, no jerking off either. Tease the hell of him too with the way you dress, look at him, and touch him. I would bet he will feel like a teenager having his first sexual explerience the next time you engage in sex.

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    • My boyfriend can finish with me and him having sex but if he can not one time I would think he had been with someone else

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      • Originally posted by tgraykansas View Post
        Hello everyone,
        I am 52, my boyfriend is 53. Him and I have been in a committed relationship for 10 months. From the beginning our sex life has been hot and heavy. He tells me he loves me, he loves my body and that I turn him on in every way. I believe him because he shows me in our everyday lives together how much he loves and adores me. I feel the same way about him. The problem is that within these 10 months, we have sex including foreplay, touching, oral, toys and vaginal at least 5-6 times a week usually for at least an hour or more each time but he has only finished inside me 4 times. I can get off when we have sex but he does not. He can masterbate watching porn and he can finish after 30 min or so but can't get off when we have sex. I pride myself on my oral skills and love doing that for him but I cant even get him off that way. He swears its not me and that he doesnt know why he cant finish. It is really starting to make me feel inadequate and not even interested in having sex. He still wants sex alot because he loves pleasing me and gets upset because he doesnt understand why I just dont want to. I try to explain to him that its no fun for me because I feel like I leave him dissatisfied. I dont want this to tear a great relationship apart...any advice is much appreciated.
        Welcome to WH Interactive Forums. Masturbating can have it's downside of being the normal way to orgasm and a person so conditioned can have problems reaching orgasm with penis in vagina sex. The usual fix is to try longer periods of no masturbation and no sex. Teasing and other foreplay is ok. After a while, he should be able to finish inside. Continue with the no masturbation and no sex if he cannot. Sooner or later he will most likely be able to finish inside. Continue the training until he has became used to the sensations. Maybe making sexy home videos would work with those playing while having sex would help him with the visual stimulation that he currently gets from porn. I personally find a lover's lady bits, legs, butt and other areas sexy but in a lot of positions those cannot be viewed or are seen only slightly.
        I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
        ...
        Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

        From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

        Comment


        • Originally posted by jns View Post

          Welcome to WH Interactive Forums. Masturbating can have it's downside of being the normal way to orgasm and a person so conditioned can have problems reaching orgasm with penis in vagina sex. The usual fix is to try longer periods of no masturbation and no sex. Teasing and other foreplay is ok. After a while, he should be able to finish inside. Continue with the no masturbation and no sex if he cannot. Sooner or later he will most likely be able to finish inside. Continue the training until he has became used to the sensations. Maybe making sexy home videos would work with those playing while having sex would help him with the visual stimulation that he currently gets from porn. I personally find a lover's lady bits, legs, butt and other areas sexy but in a lot of positions those cannot be viewed or are seen only slightly.
          Thank you for that advice...definitely worth trying!

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          • You might also consider using Viagra, Cialis or something similar or sex toys such as penis ring. Some men (not all) start having trouble with getting enough sensation as they get older. There can be all sorts of reasons for that including medications, chronic conditions, being conditioned to specific manual manipulation, lower hormone levels and other reasons. Exploring kinkiness (not for everyone) may also stimulate his mind enough to overcome other limiting factors. I doubt it is you and I also doubt that he is doing anything to make the sex not work on his part.
            I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
            ...
            Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

            From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

            Comment


            • Would you get him off while someone else watched

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