[sr_buckley]

I have to say THANK YOU, I am going through the same thing with my husband

you are very very welcome!!!!! i think every woman, especially wives, should read that book! it has opened my eyes to how fragile men can be, contrary to popular belief!!! it also helps me to relate to my husband on a better level and helps me love him in the way he needs to be loved! i'm glad i was able to help!

[ChelseaRenee]

I won't get into a protracted debate with whilhelm, since we've been there before and it never ends sensibly.

However, I will say, that whilhelms point of view is based firmly in conservative christian belief, and that's where he draws his viewpoints from. If you, too, are a person of christian moral character, then by all means feel free to lap it all up. If you're slightly more about the way the world actually is, and understanding human nature, then take my way.

I won't get into a protracted debate with whilhelm, since we've been there before and it never ends sensibly.

However, I will say, that whilhelms point of view is based firmly in conservative christian belief, and that's where he draws his viewpoints from. If you, too, are a person of christian moral character, then by all means feel free to lap it all up. If you're slightly more about the way the world actually is, and understanding human nature, then take my way.

Not to get into this totally ridiculous debate that it becomes here, but I am a complete and total atheist, and I agree 100% with Wilhelm. Disliking porn has zero to do with loving a god. Weird.

And for the record, I'm all about seeing things as they really are and probably see the world for what it really is more than most people, and I still have no idea what that has to do with watching porn. What, men have penis' and therefore they may watch porn ad nauseum? No. Just because men have an affinity for watching porn does not mean that it is right and gainful to do so. In the same way, NOT watching porn does NOT mean that they are denying some phantom inborn gene/right that says they must bang everything that moves. It means they're being faithful and respectful. And please, don't use testosterone as an example of said phantom...thing. It's also responsible for creating anger, and there are no apologists for crazed, violent murderers either, so don't do it for men who watch porn AND NO PEOPLE, I am not saying watching porn is like going on a murdering rampage. That's stup1d. Don't even go there. lmao

[Guest]

I won't get into a protracted debate with whilhelm, since we've been there before and it never ends sensibly.

However, I will say, that whilhelms point of view is based firmly in conservative christian belief, and that's where he draws his viewpoints from. If you, too, are a person of christian moral character, then by all means feel free to lap it all up. If you're slightly more about the way the world actually is, and understanding human nature, then take my way.

oh, come on anon. for old times' sake. if it gets too ugly, little will save you & close the thread.

sorry. couldn't resist. just kidding.

yes i was going to make that same point, CR. one can easily recognize porn's detructive impact without any respect to religion. though it could be effective to appeal to people's distaste for evangelicals & thus try to dissuade them from an argument against porn.

but regardless - anon, you may want to read her post again. she's already established that she's not OK with her husband masturbating with porn. you can't dismiss this & advise her to "take your way", which really just means "shut up about it & let me do what i want."

this really isn't the place for people to argue about whether or not porn is OK. that's philosophy.

my view, though i am a christian & it's pretty impossible for me to separate that from my attitudes, is based as much in many years of working with families & couples who have been damaged by porn's dramatic effect on the male sexuality & mind - as it is in my religion.

when we talk about the way the world "really" works - this is where we find ourselves. not in some male-dominated fantasyland where all women look & act like porn stars & wives celebrate their husband's consumption of hardcore porn.

the real world is a place where women are ravaged by porn's violent intrusion into their intimate relationships & their sexual health is eroded by their husband's embracing sexual experiences with other, digital women.

that's what is real.

men trapped in an insatiable hunger for a sexuality that doesn't really exist, powerless to control their attraction for the fake rather than the real, and unable to NOT compare real women & real sex to the imposters presented through porn.

the book recommended here is great - for men & women. another - one i think is even better - is "wild at heart," by john eldridge. it isn't about porn - it's about the heart of a man, how life's inevitable journey(s) damage & limit it, and how it can be rediscovered.

once you understand the allure porn has - and that it has NOTHING to do with sex itself - you are better equppied to understand, and help, your husband - and yourself.