[imported_daisygal]

I have been married for 10yrs this September and with him for 15.I do love my husband but I'm no longer in love with him.For the past 2yrs I have been cheating(with the same man)and have fallen in love with him.I have told him I love him(he 's never said it to me) and when we make love he always wants me to say it.When we first started seeing eachother he had a girlfriend and with in the 2 yrs of being together he married her.I have 2 kids with my husband and I'm not working at this time.I don't no if i should tell my husband I really don't love him and move out or try to fall back in love with him and tell the other guy no more.I don't think he(my lover) would ever leave his wife.He told me if i ever moved out on my own we would have more time to spend togther.I just don't no what to do????Anybody got any ideas?

[AFemaleProdigy]

First of all, your husband deserves to know the truth about how you feel. No matter what you decide. If you want to try to fall back in love with him, then you need to give him a chance to help by letting him know that there is a problem. You don't want to live a life of dishonesty and deceat. You will feel much better about yourself when you can be truthful about your feelings.

You need to decide what is best for you. If you do not think that you will ever love your husband again or that happiness is unlikely with him, then you should start to move on and let him know that is what you intend to do. But do this for yourself and NOT for the second man. It sounds like the situation with the second man is unsure so do not make your decision based on what might or might not happen with him. If you leave your husband and move out, do it with the intention of possibly being on your own again. We both know things may not work out with the other guy, but don't let that hold you back from going out and finding love and happiness again. There are plenty of men out there to make you happy if things don't work out with these two. Life it too short to settle for less!

But most importantly is to be honest with yourself and honest with those two men.

[imported_daisygal]

Thank u for helping me!!I'm going to really think about what I want to do with me first and see were that goes first.I think if I can figure that out first than I'll no what to do after that...........Thanks so much

[imported_MsSugaT]

2nd lover

This is only my opinion.

It is really sad when we lose our feelings for the men we have chosen to love. But, the other guy is just having his cake and eating it at the same time. It is unfortunate because us as women are the ones that usually suffer. The other man you are seeing does not love you. And he does not love the woman that he married either. If he did, he would not be seeing you on the sly. You should decide what you want to do with your husband, either stay or go and definitely dump the loser. He'll probably have a new chick within a week, its probably just a game for him. If you and your husband can't make it work, there are plenty of other guys out there who will make you number 1. Do not settle for leftovers, no matter what the cost. it never works, trust me on that one.

[somiserable]

well said, he is having his cake and eating it!! Be honest with your husband and dump the jerk of a lover!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

2006 thread...

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CW