Need To Know If This Is Normal
Ok so here it is.... I have been married for 3 years this July, I have known my husband really well for about six years now. I can tell him anything in the world and I know he will always be there for me when I need him, and I would do the same for him. I love him very much and I would never ever think of leaving him but I do need some advice about some things.
I am an only child and I am used to having my own space, and being very independant. Here recently I have been having problems with my husband as far as I don't feel like he is giving me enough space and alone time. I have asked him about this and he says he just doesn't understand why I need to be alone (he grew up in a house with 3 brothers a mom and a dad) I know that my independance scares him and he thinks I am going to leave him given enough alone time to do so ( he has told me this), but I would never do that the thought has never even crossed my mind. I am just not sure if this is what married people are suppost to be like because right now I feel like nothing I do could ever be good enough and show him that I love him. I play bass guitar and I mix songs and I also have a full time job, he says it is ok that I am not a house wife and I have asked him if he wants me to quit all of the things I do so that I could be a house wife (even though I would hate it) because I want to be a good wife for him but right now I feel like he is being selfish and I don't know how long I can live in this cage he has put around me. I am not sure I should have gotten married even though I love him with all my heart I just feel like I am not ready (at my age especally) to give all of time to a person, I am learing so much and growing as a person in my life right now more than I ever expected to and I like it and he says he's ok with all of that but then sometimes he makes me feel bad because he says (jokingly, but not really) that I am not like other wives and he says that people ask him all the time why I don't cook and clean for him, I mean my take on it is that he is old enough that he can cook his own meals. I feel like I as a wife should be there to support him emotionally not to cook and clean for him I mean I am not a maid! Is that the wrong way to think? someone please help.
I am an only child and I am used to having my own space, and being very independant. Here recently I have been having problems with my husband as far as I don't feel like he is giving me enough space and alone time. I have asked him about this and he says he just doesn't understand why I need to be alone (he grew up in a house with 3 brothers a mom and a dad) I know that my independance scares him and he thinks I am going to leave him given enough alone time to do so ( he has told me this), but I would never do that the thought has never even crossed my mind. I am just not sure if this is what married people are suppost to be like because right now I feel like nothing I do could ever be good enough and show him that I love him. I play bass guitar and I mix songs and I also have a full time job, he says it is ok that I am not a house wife and I have asked him if he wants me to quit all of the things I do so that I could be a house wife (even though I would hate it) because I want to be a good wife for him but right now I feel like he is being selfish and I don't know how long I can live in this cage he has put around me. I am not sure I should have gotten married even though I love him with all my heart I just feel like I am not ready (at my age especally) to give all of time to a person, I am learing so much and growing as a person in my life right now more than I ever expected to and I like it and he says he's ok with all of that but then sometimes he makes me feel bad because he says (jokingly, but not really) that I am not like other wives and he says that people ask him all the time why I don't cook and clean for him, I mean my take on it is that he is old enough that he can cook his own meals. I feel like I as a wife should be there to support him emotionally not to cook and clean for him I mean I am not a maid! Is that the wrong way to think? someone please help.
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