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My husband is obsessed with anal sex...

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  • My husband is obsessed with anal sex...

    He has kept asking if he can do it and I've been holding him off. I just think is a little degrading and I worry about that it will be painful. What should I tell him?

  • That you think it's degrading and that you are worried it would be painful.

    Comment


    • Having sex is not only pleasing, its about enjoying the moment. Not only telling him about your thoughts about anal sex should put your mind at ease, but also listening to what he thinks about anal sex would help you guys understand each other better.

      Talking out the circumstance can lead to agreements on the subject, and maybe finished sharin the same thoughts on anal sex. Keep an open mind, but do express what you're feelings are on the subject.

      Hope this helps.

      Comment


      • I would tell him that if he is not worried about it being degrading and painful your willing to try. Then ask him how large a dildo he thinks he would like and how much you should spend on the strap on harness.

        ;-)

        "If" he dares to say "I didn't mean you having anal sex with ME!?" then you can have that discussion about how you feel and ask him if he doesn't agree. If he thinks it over and decides that having anal sex with you is worth trying it on him first then you at least when your done you have him understanding what it will feel like for you.

        The need to go very slow. To let the person receiving set the pace, to use LOTS of lubricant (Saliva is not enough) and of course what feels good vs what might be uncomfortable or cause pain.
        "Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got." ~ Janis Joplin

        Comment


        • That was very funny, Pheobee!

          Comment


          • I agree with Phoebee too. I'm a guy and if I was "obsessed" with putting my penis in my wife's bottom, I think it's appropriate for her to ask for reciprocity.
            Plain and simple.

            Good point Phoebee.
            Cheers.

            Comment


            • Originally posted by usctrojangirl29 View Post
              He has kept asking if he can do it and I've been holding him off. I just think is a little degrading and I worry about that it will be painful. What should I tell him?
              How long have you been married? How long has he been asking for this?

              Comment


              • That is a little odd that he keeps asking you for it. Last time I checked, no means no.

                He already has a vagina he can have sex with. I don't see why he would need an extra entry.

                Comment


                • Curiosity is a strong motivation, and the forbidden becomes very attractive.

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by rcoreyus View Post
                    Curiosity is a strong motivation, and the forbidden becomes very attractive.
                    It's like 4 inches away. It isn't that forbidden.

                    He should be happy with the hole he is getting.

                    Sorry to sound graphic. But it's the truth.

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by Alex View Post
                      That was very funny, Pheobee!
                      Ahh... but my dear Alex I was being perfectly serious. Men really should try it. I think it makes them much better lovers. Most either don't care or don't understand that any penetration can be painful if done wrong. Once they have been "bent over" themselves they understand first hand what women have been trying to say for centuries...

                      Plus... It can be fun for both and rather.... Erotic? Taboo?
                      "Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got." ~ Janis Joplin

                      Comment


                      • Hi everyone. Im new on these boards. 33 year old wife of a wonderful guy. Most women would probably NOT agree with what Im about to say regarding this topic. I say, If you man really likes, or wants to try anal sex, you should give it to him. Not every day, or even once a month, but at least once in a blue moon. Men are very sexual beings. They just are.

                        As women we like romance flowers and candy which is great for us. But men just really like sex, they just do. And I say if your bf or husband is a good one and they gives you what you need, why not reciprocate? As women we hold all of the power when it comes to sex. When, how often, what we will or wont do. In a lot of ways its not really fair.

                        And it may not be a pc or popular thing to say, but more women should just loosen up a bit. so ladies dont kick me out of the club for my opinion, K?

                        Comment


                        • Hey, Pheobee you sound like you have your act together.

                          My SO and I have an agreement, anything that house up her bottom, also goes up mine. Not necessarily on the same night of course!

                          This keeps us both "honest." We are in process of buying a larger dildo for her strapon. Much debate on the size. But she knows that whatever she puts up my bum will also go up hers. We can't change the size of my penis, but we can buy a bigger dildo!

                          As a guy, i'd say that any guy who "insists"on anal sex with his ladyfriend, but will not even consider letting her reciprecate, well ladies, think about your relationship long and hard.

                          Relationships are supposed to be some sort of mutaul agreement aren't they?

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by jenn33 View Post
                            Hi everyone. Im new on these boards. 33 year old wife of a wonderful guy. Most women would probably NOT agree with what Im about to say regarding this topic. I say, If you man really likes, or wants to try anal sex, you should give it to him. Not every day, or even once a month, but at least once in a blue moon. Men are very sexual beings. They just are.

                            As women we like romance flowers and candy which is great for us. But men just really like sex, they just do. And I say if your bf or husband is a good one and they gives you what you need, why not reciprocate? As women we hold all of the power when it comes to sex. When, how often, what we will or wont do. In a lot of ways its not really fair.

                            And it may not be a pc or popular thing to say, but more women should just loosen up a bit. so ladies dont kick me out of the club for my opinion, K?
                            Not at all! Trust me you are SO in the club! ;-) And my statements are not in anyway saying I won't let DH do Anal sex with me.

                            I agree with you I just think that it helps us enjoy Anal sex if our men are experienced with it. My DH told me that he really understood when the receiver has to be 100% in control of the initial penetration. You can't just "slam it in" without hurting and maybe harming the person. Ditto the need for a mountain of lube.

                            Hey for whatever this is worth Anal sex for me is not as good as its turned out to be for him. He has a prostate gland thats (if I follow all this) similar to our G spot. And so what started as him wanting me to be "bent over" is him wanted me to bend him over. And thats fine with me. And btw I'm not into the idea of "Domination" or sexual role reversal. Its just a new position in our minds. **Well I hope so. The night he comes to bed with his legs shaved wearing my panties he is going to find himself sleeping on the couch! ;-)

                            Oh! If your SO is doing Anal with you and your not really enjoying it you might want to try having a vibe like the Hitachi Magic Wand handy so you can climax whilst he is doing his thing. If you start having regular orgasms during Anal sex it stops being a chore and becomes much more enjoyable.

                            Hi OH!

                            Thanks for the Friend Request. I'm new to this so I don't know if I clicked the right thingie... Anyway its appreciated.

                            Well the strapon stuff for us started when DH started having Impotence issues. While he was getting that squared away with his doctor he was using that to keep things going in the bedroom. You make a good point about "variety" We are not prudes but we agree on a number of things we will not do. Having anyone else in the bed? Nope... Thats not going to happen. So, this toy is fun from a fantasy aspect because it allows some variety.

                            BTW is this just me??? The people making these "things" have to get real. The long ones are so long they hurt. And that is so NOT erotic and not fun. They also make some that believe it or not are too wide. I know the vagina is supposed to pass a baby but... On the other hand the ones that are supposed to hit the G spot are great. The variety of materials they make them in? Well with one exception (A penile sheath) the non silicone ones can all go in the rubbish.

                            Oh! One thing you have to try. Having your DH do oral sex while using one of those G Spot hitting dildos... Woooooooooo......

                            DH was at first a bit upset over the idea of a realistic dildo being used on him. Homophobic he is not. When we talked it out the real issue was more of what he was worried "I" thought about it. My take is that its me having sex with him and unless he has some inner desires for male on male sex? Who cares?

                            Anyway, don't injure yourself trying to use those huge dildos. If it doesn't feel good its a bad idea.



                            Originally posted by owlhunter View Post
                            Hey, Pheobee you sound like you have your act together.

                            My SO and I have an agreement, anything that house up her bottom, also goes up mine. Not necessarily on the same night of course!

                            This keeps us both "honest." We are in process of buying a larger dildo for her strapon. Much debate on the size. But she knows that whatever she puts up my bum will also go up hers. We can't change the size of my penis, but we can buy a bigger dildo!

                            As a guy, i'd say that any guy who "insists"on anal sex with his ladyfriend, but will not even consider letting her reciprecate, well ladies, think about your relationship long and hard.

                            Relationships are supposed to be some sort of mutaul agreement aren't they?
                            Last edited by CHANDLERS WISH; 10-21-2008, 04:20 AM. Reason: merge posts
                            "Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got." ~ Janis Joplin

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by rcoreyus View Post
                              Curiosity is a strong motivation, and the forbidden becomes very attractive.
                              Well even though I have my own issues as mentioned, this backdoor thing has always been an unfulfilled fantasy of mine. We see it in porn all the time, and I think almost all my friends have had a GF who let them or had them do it.

                              My wife, before we were married, tried it for me once. But it was too painful for her, she almost cried, really. And I'm no super tree trunk.
                              When you see your fiancee kind of cry like that, you don't want to do that to her.

                              However, the quote above "curiosity/forbidden" rings true. It's still an unfulfilled fantasy. Hard to imagine those going away.

                              I can't blame ANY girl for not doing it though becuase I have had my prostate checked before and that was a small finger!

                              Comment

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