[Joe Blow]

Hi, I'm a male, I hope that's not a problem. We're allowed in here I hope.

Anyway, here is my story.

I'm a 39 year old male with no children. My girlfriend is almost 37 and is a regular smoker and has been for well over a decade.

The issue of birth control is starting to become a problem for us.

We both dislike using condoms, she claims using them often gives her thrush. I dislike them as they reduce sensation.

She is pushing me to get a vasectomy because she is sure she doesn't want any children and I am fairly sure (not definitely sure). The reason she doesn't want to get on the pill is because she has heard that if you are over 35 and a smoker you have an increased risk of having a stroke.

I went to the doctor earlier today and he claimed that if I told the surgeon what I told him he probably wouldn't perform a vasectomy on me as it is for men who have had children and are certain they do not want any more. He said that my girlfriends concerns about increased risk for a stroke are based on studies conducted when contraceptive pills were up to 70% estrogen and even then the risk was negligible. He said some pills are now only 10% and there are contraceptives that don't have estrogen but progesterone or something.

So I guess my questions are:

• Should my girlfriend be concerned about an increased risk of a stroke if she starts using contraceptives being over 35 and a smoker?
• What are the different female contraceptives and would there be a particular one that is more suited to her situation?

Any feedback would be appreciated.

Thanks!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I'm 45, smoked since 14 and still on the pill...

She like me, should really only be concerned about what the smoking is doing to our lungs, haha, serioiusly..

I think that what you have been told is correct, and eating well enriched with good proteins and green vegetables, anti oxident foods such as berries reduces alot of things that we can get as we mature in age.

I think that you are being very responsible and I think that she should not ask a "boyfriend" to have such a major operation, when the commitment isn't as solid as it could be/should be ie) forever... that's when such a decision in my opinion should be made, because she didn't mention her having her tubes tied as an option?

That's just my opinion.

[Joe Blow]

Thanks for your feedback.

I guess I'm just trying to find a non-surgical solution to this dilemma. One that will allay her fears about having a stroke. If I could take a pill or have an injection I would do it in a second so this wasn't an issue any more.

Do women really have strokes and die from taking the contraceptive pill?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Yes, they do...

But, there are so many types of pills we can take, and based on our history of other problems, this is taken into consideration when being put on the pill.

But, seriously, I know she is scared therefore, what about other options that are available?

She needs to just go to her regular Doctor and discuss all options for her personally.

It's hard to give up smoking I know, trust me...

But it's also a "risk" we take.

It's nice that you care so much but nothing we can say, we are all different with our bodies and what we can take and can't take.

CW