[anonymouswhitefemale]

Not really asking for advice or whatever, some people here may remember me...

Anyway, recently I broke up with a girl, on my way out the door....: "I'm 7 weeks pregnant". She was on the injection, are we fertile or what? Anyway, a nightmare later was an abortion, made a bit more guilt free since apparently it wasn't very healthy because of the injection...

Anyway, I think I might get a vasectomy. Hah. Don't want to go through that again.... Also having your life in the hands of a woman (irrational ) was the most terrifying experience ever...

It's a funny issue of rights about abortion and stuff, in that the man has no say - I was just lucky this time, though I confess it was still sad - I'm not sure whether men should have more of a say legally or not? Opinions?

[WildChild]

Hi Annony
We went through this here not long ago. It's a touchy topic. You may see it as a woman having your life in her hands but if men can veto the woman's choice to continue/not continue a pregnancy, then he holds her life in his hands and may force her to go through nine months of pregnancy and to deliver a child she doesn't want. It's a classic catch 22 and really a no win deal. But it involves her body/life and your wants, which isn't a balanced situation at all.

There really isn't an entirely good or fair solution except unless you are willing to take the risk, however small, don't have sex or as you are considering, get a vasectomy. They won't always do one if you are under a certain age, varies from place to place.

[PJhavinfunagain]

My DH was the "safety guy" before Marriage. Even before I was with him. He saw too many time where friends of his would get some girl pregnant. He was in the Navy and I hope this does not offend but I saw soooo many young girls see these guys as a way out. So yes I saw many "Forget" to take their BC. Or the gals said they were on BC when I knew they were not. DH swore to himself he would not deal with that or marriage while in the service so, He was "condom man" LOL. Did not matter if his current squeeze (yes we were friends for many years before falling in love) said she was on BC. He covered up. If you are adamant about not wanting children yet doubling up on BC is a good idea anyway not to mention condoms are the best way to prevent STD's. I know Condoms aren't the best for guys but there are different types and styles. Some are better for your stimulation. Please think long and hard about getting a Vasectomy. You may change your mind someday when you are older and find the woman you want to spend your life with. Not to mention as a woman I did not mind condoms as long as I was really worked up or had lube. I liked that clean up was super easy!

[anonymouswhitefemale]

Yeah, I know it would be wrong as well for a guy to be able to insist on abortion... But maybe some legislation where you don't have to pay child support if you're advocating an abortion or something...

The trouble with condoms is that (for me) they remove all the fun of sex... Now it's not like I shag around much, I'm clean and if I found someone clean and trustworthily on the b/c then I'd far prefer that. But yeah, I guess you just can't trust a woman with that... So, since I can't really use condoms I'm back to the vasectomy... Haha. You can get them reversed anyways right?

[PJhavinfunagain]

I'm not saying you can't trust a woman (as a woman I would not ever say that since it goes both ways). I'm saying to take safety matters into your own hands. You need to take charge over your own life and happiness. Even if a girl is on the pill and takes it religiously it is not 100%. No type of BC is 100% except not having sex.

Seriously, have you tried different brands? We liked the Lifestyles, one kind had a bigger head area so it gave us both more sensation. There are sooooo many kinds out there.

Yes A Vasectomy can be reversed but it is higher risk and the success rate is not the greatest. I do not have figures handy but that is what I remember from when DH had his after child #2.

[Little]

By the time Anon wants kids, we'll be able to take one of his skin cells and merge it with his lady friend's egg. Just knowing him and the rate of scientific discovery :P Not to mention all those options they have for infertile couples ... can't they just steal a few million sperms from you after the vasectomy? I thought that was only a tube-cutting procedure. Not to mention adoption.
I know people who have kids they never pay for and never will, and a man who pays hundreds every month for a child he just wants to live with him because he loves the child, but the woman wants the money. It's sad that it can go both ways like that. There are women who are doing all they can and need monetary help they don't get and men who just want to be with their children and can't because the woman wants the money.

[dolphinlefty]

Yeah... I think men shouldn't have a say if the woman wants to abort, the man doesn't. Vice versa, yeah. Men should be allowed to make their partner abort. But that will more than likely never happen. Abortions are a beautiful thing. You realize that when you see all the brats that run around with no parental control, grow up, start popping out their own and they are all paid for by our taxpayers dollars. The world is overpopulated anyways.