[Euphoric]

chel,

I think that it's wonderful that you have a mother with whom you can have open and honest discussions with, especially concerning sexual relations. There is really no need to explain whether you and your partner have considered marriage. As long as you both are consenting adults, how, when, why, and what are really none of our business. WH is a forum where you can be open and honest, ask for knowledge and help, without judgement or prejudice.

I understand where you are coming from on not being so forthcoming with your father. Being lectured, preached at, or belittled is not going to help you. Furthermore, this a personal decision.

You may find it helpful to take you BC with food, rather than on an empty stomach. Your body has to adjust to the hormones, hence the nausea, but it should subside. If not, there are many BC pills on the market. It may take trying a few to figure out one that works for you without the unwanted side effects. There are a few people who absolutely can not tolerate hormonal BC, and they chart their basal temperature and use condoms. You can search through some of the threads and get more information on this if necessary.

Best Wishes

[Guest]

U may want to reconsider having a sexual dating relationship.. Suggestion. until after u r married. u both have considered marriage right??? What does ur family thank of him?

Well I originally wanted to wait 'til marriage, but I couldn't. I waited almost 21 years to start having sex, and I'm not giving it up now. It just didn't feel good to me personally to be depriving myself and my body of something so natural and that I need as a human being. And we talk about marriage all the time, yes; but we want to wait 'til we graduate college (May 2014) to actually carry that plan out 'cause we don't want anything taking our focus away from school. But we're not giving up intimacy (that I waited over 20 years to finally have). We're being as safe as possible, including 2 forms of protection and not having sex when I'm at my high fertility point in the month or when I'm ovulating. We know it's not 100% guaranteed to prevent pregnancy and we're prepared to handle the consequences that may arise from this.
And my parents love him. My mom knows that we're active and she's supportive of it. Dad doesn't know about it. Even though I'm almost 21, he'd still flip and shove the Bible down my throat, figuratively speaking. That conversation would not be pretty. Though I really don't think it's his business since I'm not a child and no longer a minor.
The instructions say that nauseousness is normal for the first few months of taking BC, but to talk to my doctor if it continues past that. I've only been taking it for 2 days, so I'll wait and see what happens.

Unfort.ly there is no safe way so to speak. its some what dangerous to have a sexually relationship. Sex diseases/... .

[chelpsyc13]

Unfort.ly there is no safe way so to speak. its some what dangerous to have a sexually relationship. Sex diseases/... .

I've already been tested since I started having sex with him and it came back all perfectly healthy. And he was recently tested too and he's fine.

[Guest]

U may want to reconsider having a sexual dating relationship.. Suggestion. until after u r married. u both have considered marriage right??? What does ur family thank of him?

Well I originally wanted to wait 'til marriage, but I couldn't. I waited almost 21 years to start having sex, and I'm not giving it up now. It just didn't feel good to me personally to be depriving myself and my body of something so natural and that I need as a human being. And we talk about marriage all the time, yes; but we want to wait 'til we graduate college (May 2014) to actually carry that plan out 'cause we don't want anything taking our focus away from school. But we're not giving up intimacy (that I waited over 20 years to finally have). We're being as safe as possible, including 2 forms of protection and not having sex when I'm at my high fertility point in the month or when I'm ovulating. We know it's not 100% guaranteed to prevent pregnancy and we're prepared to handle the consequences that may arise from this.
And my parents love him. My mom knows that we're active and she's supportive of it. Dad doesn't know about it. Even though I'm almost 21, he'd still flip and shove the Bible down my throat, figuratively speaking. That conversation would not be pretty. Though I really don't think it's his business since I'm not a child and no longer a minor.
The instructions say that nauseousness is normal for the first few months of taking BC, but to talk to my doctor if it continues past that. I've only been taking it for 2 days, so I'll wait and see what happens.

Its not nec. Natural. Making love is between a married couple supposibly. between a husband and a wife.. giving themselves to each other. right now u may want to be careful. being u r dating. anything can happen possibly.. It seems in my opinion.
I dont mean to offend u. Plez dont take this the wrong way... Hi btw..

[Euphoric]

U may want to reconsider having a sexual dating relationship.. Suggestion. until after u r married. u both have considered marriage right???

Its not nec. Natural. Making love is between a married couple supposibly. between a husband and a wife.. giving themselves to each other. right now u may want to be careful. being u r dating. anything can happen possibly.. It seems in my opinion.
I dont mean to offend u. Plez dont take this the wrong way

Artqween,

You state that you don't mean to offend and I believe that you truly do not want to. However, the OP's original question asked about taking BC at the same time everyday and wanting to change when she took the pill. From your postings, it seems quite clear that you do not agree with premarital sex. I respect your point of view, however, the OP stated that her mother knows about her sexual activity, as well as the fact that she is a consenting young woman.

I respectfully disagree with your statement that her feelings and desires are not necessarily normal because making love is supposed to be between a husband and wife. I understand that that is your moral belief and there is nothing wrong with that, but to believe everyone should hold your point of view may be perceived as judgemental. It is the physical attraction and chemistry that draw people together. Her feelings are most definately valid and normal. She also stated that she didn't discuss her sexual relationship with her father because it would be awkward and because he would shove the Bible down her throat. While you aren't throwing any religious view at her, you are in a since of the matter pushing your moral code of standards upon her.

I would hate to think that chel might not turn to the forum in the future because she received the one thing she was trying to avoid, judgement. I do think that she is being careful. Both parties have been tested and received a clean bill of health, she is starting BC pills and they are using condoms. You are correct, anything can happen, and I'm sure she is well aware of that, which is why she has decided to be proactive and take further precautions.

Again, you state that you don't mean to offend, but honestly, I think you may be bordering on doing so, unintentionally. I believe that it is your intent to offer advice to help.

[chelpsyc13]

Thank you, Euphoric. I didn't respond to her anymore 'cause she was really starting to make me mad. She didn't have a place to keep telling me that I'm living my life wrong. All my life, I've been the "good girl" who never did what everyone else was doing; I was the odd one out my whole life and I was judged for it. Now I live my life for myself and not my dad for once and I still get judged. So thank you for standing up for me, I appreciate it. I'll still return here for help in the future, don't worry