[helpmeplz]

Ok ladies I am in need of some serious help. My girlfriend has been on the depo shot about 7 years, since she was 16. She is now 23. When we were young we would have sex about everyday sometimes multiple times, generally twice. Then it got to where it only happened about every 3 days, then once a week, then once every two weeks, and in all actuality I think now she never would again if it were up to her!!! I am not a sexaholic but I do like it, naturally. Twice a week would make me happy but just once a week or two, with her enjoying it too would keep my head above water. I have gotten jumped on for "mentioning it too much" because I have to try to instigate it(and get my hand slapped like a 3 year old) or ask every few days (and typically told NO)...because I dont know when she would be up to it. I can shut down and not mention it a month and not a word would be said. Im on like 15 days right now! And when she has sex she does it for me and says she hates it. Im the only one shes ever been with and she used to like it just fine even after a couple years after the shot. I have tried toys. She doesnt even like oral anymore. I beg to do it and she cant "stand the feel of it"....I have never heard of a woman turning that down! Shes never been freaky in bed or nothing,just normal positions and I have always done the majority of the work. After a few years of the shot she got to saying it hurts. I finally demanded she get off of this shot about two months ago and she is now taking the pill. She also doesnt like to be touched, kissed, cuddled, nothing. I know this has to be a result of this devil drug. lol. I need stories of some of you ladies that have had similar experiences. I want to marry her but I cant bring myself to it because of this and she seems more moody too. We are in our mid twenties and have no sex life. This should be our prime... I would hate to see what it would be like in our 40s and after a child/children. I might as well just chop it off.

[helpmeplz]

This lady explains my girlfriend exactly!

https://www.womens-health.com/boards/birth-control/8805-life-after-depo-shot-little.html

[Trixareforkids]

It takes up to 6 months of being off of depo for it to really be out of your system and any hormonal B/C may have the same or similar effects on libido. Unless she's on B/C for health reasons (ovarian cysts, thinning uterine wall, endometriosis, etc.) you might suggest she get off all B/C and use condoms/spermicide. It sounds like something beyond B/C is going on to me though. This is coming from someone who took depo for years and was fine (though w/less sex drive) and then when I took it after my daughter was born had all kinds off issues with it. I've given up on all hormonal B/C, but I'm older and am just going to get a tubal. It sounds like she had a normal libido before, so hopefully it'll rebound but I have to say it can take a while, 6 months or more with depo and with the new hormonal pills maybe longer. Some women simply cannot tolerate B/C, it really messes up their systems, your GF may be one of those women. Talk to her not about the sex part of it (she'll get too defensive) but about the closeness, the snuggling, the connected feeling you both used to get from the physical contact. Hopefully if you start from there she'll be able to listen better and consider what the B/C is doing to her psychologically. It made my mother REALLY nuts, had to take valium nuts, until they figured out it was the B/C and took her off it.

I know it sucks to be on the receiving end of the "cold shoulder", good luck with this.

[rcoreyus]

Quite likely that the drugs and maybe even the BC pills have messed up her libido big time. One thought is to stop all the BC. See if any of her libido comes back - of course only doing sexual things that can't possibly make her pregnant - I know that's a limit but I expect that a frequent enthusiastic sex life that didn't include intercourse would be better than what you have now.

Don't just wait and hop it gets better. Sex is absolutely critical to a happy relationship.

[Trixareforkids]

I was on depo for years it takes up to 6 months to fully get out of your system. If she's now taking another hormonal B/C it's going to be hard to tell what's old and what new symptoms. Unless she needs to be on B/C for other health reasons I agree with rcoreyus, she's probably better off getting completely off hormonal B/C. You can, if the opportunity arises, use condoms/spermicide or just have non-intercourse fun.

From a woman's view, hormones are a B-----, you've been doing good holding back your own needs/wants, keep it up a bit longer while the hormones stabilized. Talk to her about missing the closeness that physical contact and snuggling brings, all the non-sexual touching. From experience, when you can get that without worry that it may escalate into being asked for sex that you are not ready for it brings the relaxed state where you can begin to think about sex again. I hate to say it but it can take 2-3 months.

[sweet_peaa]

Well I don't think its fair for her to withhold it from you even if she doesn't Want it your a man how does she expect u to b faithful or sexually fulfilled if she's not giving it up lol I think the best thing u can do is give it sme time or talk to her and let her know how you are feeling sometimes we dont take our partners serious because we've been with them for so long but the key is communication especially when it comes to sex u guys both have to be willing to compromis

[helpmeplz]

Her last Depo injection was the end of September. So it has been 7 months now, 4 months since she was supposed to get her last shot(Jan). She then took the pill for about a week and I demanded she get off b/c becuase of what it was doing to us and she was fine with it. It's been 6 weeks since any booty. I'm going absolutely nuts. lol. She still says she hates the thought of it. Hates being touched in general. Any more ladies can help me with this problem? I was thinking about sending her to a gynecologist to have a hormone test ran but idk if that will help anything or not.

[helpmeplz]

Her last Depo injection was the end of September. So it has been 7 months now, 4 months since she was supposed to get her last shot(Jan). She then took the pill for about a week and I demanded she get off b/c becuase of what it was doing to us and she was fine with it. It's been 6 weeks since any booty. I'm going absolutely nuts. lol. She still says she hates the thought of it. Hates being touched in general. Any more ladies can help me with this problem? I was thinking about sending her to a gynecologist to have a hormone test ran but idk if that will help anything or not.

[Baboy]

You have not asked the guys to chime in here, but at the risk of being told to get lost, I will anyway.

I have no personal experience with a gf taking Depo and I'll take it as having the evil qualities you attribute to it. However, I would say that in order to solve your problem, you will have to get your gf onside in recognizing the existence of a problem and getting motivated to doing something about it.

Perhaps it's just the tenor of your posts and not representative of your real discourse with your gf, but your words here indicate little to inspire her to want to work through this. For example, you say you "demanded" that she get off b/c. You are thinking of "sending her" to a gyno. Yet you bridle at having your hand slapped like a 3-year-old. You come across as treating her the same way.

The impression I am getting here may not be reflective of what is really taking place. Your mode of writing here may be borne of frustration and not indicative of dialogue with your gf. As someone a bit older than you and with a modicum of experience, permit me to recommend communicating with her as an equal, solicitous of her welfare and that of your relationship. Maybe you are already doing just that. Maybe you already know that making "demands" is not likely to get you where you want to go.

[Little]

I have moved some posts from the other thread into this one and deleted the duplicate.

Birth control can absolutely give women the symptoms your girlfriend is describing. It may be that a different form of BC would make a world of difference, or it could be that every hormonal BC does the same thing. If your girlfriend is unhappy with these changes, she should absolutely explore other options!

However, you can't MAKE her do it, especially if it seems like she does not care. If this is her status quo, you may find it very hard to get her to care. You deserve the sex life that you want, but naturally you are not entitled to get it from this woman if it doesn't match up with what she wants for whatever reason.

Stick to your instincts and DO NOT marry her until this is resolved. It may be that ending this relationship is the only way that you'll get the sex life you want ... but hopefully she will work with you instead.