[Patti-here]

I’m taking she’s getting shots ? I’ve been on orthotriclycine (sp) for years with no side effects to my sex drive, have her see her gyno.

[helpmeplz]

For example, you say you "demanded" that she get off b/c. You are thinking of "sending her" to a gyno. Yet you bridle at having your hand slapped like a 3-year-old. You come across as treating her the same way.
Maybe you are already doing just that. Maybe you already know that making "demands" is not likely to get you where you want to go.

Let me rephrase those statements then. I said something along the lines of "you have got to get off birth control all together" and she agreed with me- was that demanding or concerned or what?
Also in the regards of me "sending her to a gyno" is short for I had the idea of her going to a gynecologist and she agreed that it would be a good idea but being since she doesn't have insurance I would have to pay for it and would it help anything? I guess my "sending" translates better as " her going to a gyno at my expense.".......would it be helpful?...or a waste of time and money?
I'm not demanding nothing, I'm not controlling. Please excuse my short statements and my lack of properness. And I don't mind input from the guys but I am really concerned about the before/after aspect of the women that have experienced this themselves or their friends/mother/sister/whatever. I want to know what was in their head and feelings they had. A man can sit here and say they experienced the same thing with their partner but it wont explain the whole situation like I want. I have been on the net for countless hours researching this and have read many negative reviews but none of them are really a forum, just reviews and I cannot have a direct conversation with the ladies. I see very few positive experiences with the Depo shot.

[Baboy]

Fair enough, helpmeplz. I thought the way you expressed yourself here might not be the manner in which you addressed your gf. You have now made that clear.

The situation confronting you seems somewhat complicated and difficult and perhaps the women on the forum can offer something useful. I cannot. The only further comment I'll make is that my wife has been using an IUD for b/c for quite awhile; she tells me she is aware of no side effects and she's happy with it.

Best of luck to you.

[helpmeplz]

Here is the type of things I have been reading and many of them is exact to what I am experiencing with this. They just don't follow up to the "after" and explain what they did to change the situation.

Removed link

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Sorry, links are not permitted on this Forum.

"sending her to a gyno" is short for I had the idea of her going to a gynecologist and she agreed that it would be a good idea but being since she doesn't have insurance I would have to pay for it and would it help anything? I guess my "sending" translates better as " her going to a gyno at my expense.".......would it be helpful?...or a waste of time and money?

Not being the Devil's advocate or anything but yes. It would be helpful, why? Because she agreed that it would be a good idea. If you want someone to try something that may help any situation the first thing you have to do is get them to agree to it. She did. And, money is money.

Secondly, she doesn't have insurance, how are her finances and yours, combined how do you share things?

You know the Depo shot can cause problems with some ladies and you've already read here that it can also be fine for other ladies.

What I am suggesting or asking, is do you think that's all there is to it? Or could your relationship be strained and therefore she doesn't want sex, any of it.

[Little]

The gyno may very well pooh-pooh her concerns, put her on a different hormonal birth control, and send her on her way. If you get her an appointment with a good gynecologist who addresses her concerns, it may not be a one-time visit - it may be something that requires bloodwork, medication, and possibly therapy of some sort.

[kira]

While hormonal birth control can cause problems and I know many on this forum are quite against it I don't actually think that's what's going on here. It sounds to me like a very basic problem that happens to many people no matter what they are using for birth control. The loss of libido in a relationship is a very common and complicated problem. The lack of wanting touched just makes me more certain the problem is in the relationship and not the bc. Or at least not just the bc.

I was on yasmin from 9th grade through my first few relationships including living with a guy for 2years right after highschool. In that time my sex drive was all over the place. It started really high, I met my bf online and we had a long distance relationship until he graduated highschool and moved here, relationship started to go bad, sex drive dropped to nothing after 6 months, I eventually left him, my sex drive slowly built back up while I was alone and I had a few friends with benefits relationships until one guy got too clingy, sex drive plummeted while miscommunication was high, and then I was alone again.

Sex drive returned but at that point I went through a range of hormonal bc because I lost insurance. Settled back on a different pill and had a high sex drive with my now husband of 4 years. His sex drive started to lessen until he couldn't have sex every day with me and the doctors were not helpful. We got given 6 pills a month to use. He took me to swingers clubs and told me to find other guys to have sex with. It was several days of me repeatedly asking if he was serious and I met a few guys but decided not to try it.

The last year both our sex drives have crashed. He's tired all the time, I'm on 5 high dose meds for sleep with weight gain and back pain, and we've just reached the point we are content with a few times a month. Probably not forever. New meds are coming out that could improve my health. Me sleeping well helps him sleep but there is even a new insomnia drug with no side effects. It's a bit stuck in FDA red tape but expected to come out this year which would help him further beyond it helping me to sleep. There's nothing else wrong in our relationship besides some slight annoyance at his inability to clean so it might restore both our sex drives to an extent.

It's a complicated thing that bc may not be having any effect on and often even people with a low sex drive due to meds still like the act just for the interaction and the satisfaction of their partner. Not wanting to even touch or do anything usually takes more emotional problems than that.

[helpmeplz]

Well since links are not permitted, this one here caught my eye. I can show you quotes like this all day:

"DEPO-PROVERA RUINED MY LIFE!! I had a high & active sex drive with my partner until I was on this for 2 years. In addition to the commonly reported mood swings & sudden & intermittent periods for 12 months (which ruined a brand new mattress), I experienced total loss of desire & felt permanently vaginally sore & dry. I have been medically checked & have no infections, hormone imbalances or suffered any trauma. 9 years on I have never regained my sexual desire or enjoyment of sex. The problems I experienced are some of the side-effects listed in the product literature but at no time was this shown or discussed during the 2 1/2 years receiving it, only the few main side effects were advised. I know closely of 3 other women receiving this contraceptive for a similar time period. All experienced a variety of problems from severe depression, manic mood swings, loss of sex drive & 9 years on, ovarian cyst & excessive facial hair. None of us have ever returned to how we were before the injections. Doctors have all denied these problems are the result of the contraceptive but as men, they clearly do not know or have experienced it for themselves. Realistically thinking, how can it not damage the careful balance of the body & hormones, receiving massive doses of hormone injections which override & suppress nature?! It's too late for me, after only a couple of years. So if you're thinking of receiving it, despite assurances of medical staff, DO NOT!! It's a huge dose of known problems & the unknown. How will it permanently damage you? All of the people I know who have received it have continued to be affected by it "in some negative way. Value your health & do not blindly trust the people who are supposed to know. There's lots of other contraceptive methods out there, please take the time to research other options; Depo-Provera will cost you more than a mattress & you won't know at what personal cost to your health & life until it's too late!!"

It's not just a big coincidence that she is having the same exact problems I have read over and over.
-When I met her she was the sweet and quiet and was for a couple years...now she is moody and snaps at the little things. I mean LITTLE things.
-She had to have half of her thyroid removed at 21 years old. Thyroids have allot to do with controlling your body.
-She has pains, her boobs are sore all the time
-She has gained 40# and eats fairly healthy. She can go work out everyday and come home wet with sweat. She might lose a couple pounds but it comes back. No matter how hard she tries.
-She has a nice head of brown hair past her shoulders but I can vacuum every 2 days and there will be so much hair wrapped around the brush of our Shark Vac that I have to cut it off with a razor blade. I mean gobs of hair.
-She has hot flashes all the time
-She used to bleed every month, then every couple months, then it got to like 6 months maybe. I have seen reviews of women with severe bleeding problems which she hasn't had.
-She used to like to kiss me and show me affection and her receive the same. She used to like snuggling in bed before we went to sleep. She used to enjoy sex. Now she can get wet but it burns and hurts her. "Feels like it's raw"...but trust me its wet.
Yes we have some problems but doesn't everyone? It's not that shes unhappy and doesn't want to be with me or she is seeing someone else or noting. I am confident that this shot has about destroyed her and the "waiting game" until it wears off is driving me insane. I guess the only thing I can do is have her go talk to a gyno and pray that they know what they are doing and i don't waste a bunch of time and money on some yahoo doctor that is just there to collect those $100 bills.

[helpmeplz]

Here's more:
First of all, I am a guy who has been hurt by this medication. After about a year of being together my girlfriend decided that we we ready to take our wonderful relationship to the next level. She started taking the Depo shot and every thing was pretty good. Things progressively got very bad. She was moodier than normal, she lost interest in sex, she started having seizure like episodes that she never had before. The worst part was that she seemed to be emotionally hurt by everything I said and did, even if I said something that was very positive. It was almost like dealing with someone with bipolar disorder. After 4 and a half years of a mostly great relationship she one day just told me that she didn't love me anymore, and said it with very little emotion. I feel like I should have been a better partner and researched what was causing all this unnecessary drama. I still love her and miss her 4 years later because I know she is a great person. I blame the Depo shot for taking that great person away from me. It hurts me everyday."

"I absolutely hate what this drug has done to me. I've been on the Depo shot since March 2010, no period since April. Gained 3-5 lbs. so far, have epsiodes of abdominal and back pain, headaches, extreme mood swings, cry at anything/nothing, bad depression, no sex drive, no orgasms, no feelings really other than sadness. I hate the person I've become. My partner is angry that I don't initiate sex anymore and that my body is not responsive to anything. He'd rather jerk off alone for two minutes than spend an hour with me and get nowhere. I don't know how to make him understand it's not him or me, but the medication. Making love has become making war. I feel like an 80 year old housekeeper and babysitter. I want this crap out of my system but just found out it could take between 7 and 18 months for that to happen. I will NOT be getting the next shot. If you're trying to decide on a method, skip this one, please."

"1st shot May 2008, it's been down hill since then. Hair loss,MOOD CHANGES,depression,tiredness,nervousness,NO SEX DRIVE AT ALL I don't recommend"

"I had been on the depo shot for 6 years. I have been off of it for 3 months now. My periods stopped right away and I did not ''spot'' at all. In 6 years I gained 10 pounds. It's very hard to control wieght on the depo. My side effects were hair loss (always shedding... hair EVERYWHERE!), complexion worsened, depression, needed A LOT of sleep, anxiety, and mood swings. I am 25 years old and had perfect health prior to getting the depo. I am now trying to get pregnant and know it could be a long wait. It's been 3 months since my last dose and still no period. I was instantly able to drop weight and did not change my eating patterns or exercise regimen. Clearly, the depo was effecting that. My skin is now clear as well. Still feeling like it's working it's way out of my system. Mood has went back to normal. I would not recommend this drug to a family member or friend. My doctor did not tell me the risks of being on it for long periods of time (not recommended for longer than 2 years.)Also, my Doctor mentioned to take calcium but didn't stress how important this is. I'm sure I will have osteoporosis later in life. I will never go back on the depo shot again."

I can quote things over and over

[jinxd]

I had a similar experience with Depo. My weight ballooned, my sex drive was killed and I had no sex drive whatsoever. I saw a really good gynecologist after I complained of these symptoms and she told me to absolutely go off of the Depo and that she thinks its awful. then she said that while generally it is six months until the side effects wear off, she has seen it take up to two years in some women. I immediately stopped the Depo. Try asking your girlfriend about getting a non hormonal IUD. This will allow her to have a 99% effective contraception with no hormones that will give her weird side effects, and it will allow her natural cycle and hormones to return. It took me about 11 months until i started to feel somewhat normal after going off of Depo.