[Keiraan]

So, I'm 23 years old and I've never been on Birth Control. I just started a new relationship and my boyfriend brought up BC. Now, it's a long distance relationship for one; we see each other once a month if that but in the future if things continue to go well for us I do hope to move in with him.

While I'm not entirely keen on the idea, I told him I would consider it and retreated to the internet where I could learn more about it. There are so many mixed reviews it's mind-boggling. I've read everything from it works great and every girl should be on it to horror stories of people just suddenly dying from unexpected complications. So, I'm even more wary than I was before. On both sides of my family there are various health issues that make taking it a lot more daunting, as well as the fact that I smoke regularly and am quite content with my smoking habit.

The next time it was brought up, we ended up in an argument. I explained to him about my fears which he dismissed immediately, saying the reason I was only reading horror stories was because people don't generally talk about something if it works the way it's supposed to; more so just to say when it doesn't. He also told me that I shouldn't be that worried about it because it's not like I'm taking care of my health anyway; referring to my smoking habit which he also doesn't appreciate. But he hates using condoms and makes sure to voice his dislike nearly every time we use one and it ends up making me feel guilty. I don't have a high sex drive as it is and it ends up being a turn-off just all around.

I have a few dilemmas though besides our disagreement in opinion.

For one, I don't have a doctor I regularly see. I don't have health insurance so seeing a doctor is reserved for when I'm actually sick and require medication. With my job, it's a bit out of my budget and puts me back a while when I have to see one. To be honest; the last time I was at a doctor was right before I went off to college at 17 and that was my pediatrician. So, without insurance I've heard BC can be a bit pricey and I really can't afford to shell out extra cash. As for medication; using it more than absolutely necessary has always been against my personal beliefs. I don't take pain pills for headaches, I take a nap instead for example. The idea of having to take one every day at the same time is a bit off-putting; my schedule is hectic and erratic as it is and the possibility of me forgetting more times than once a week makes it seem like it's just a waste of time but that could be just me. So I looked into ones I could take less often than every day and the idea of something artificial implanted in me just leaves me with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I'm no health freak, not even in the slightest but this is just really bothering me. Every time I try to look into it, the more I come away confused, afraid, and feeling even more like I just don't want to do it. It was my original stake on the matter in the first place but I felt just flat out saying no would be unfair to him.

I'm not sure what to do, where to start, or if I should just stick with my gut and tell him I'm just not comfortable with it. When the conversation arises again, I really don't want it to end up in an argument so I'm not even sure how to talk to him about it. I've been avoiding bringing it up again since then.

[CapeCRunner]

Keiraan. You have to feel comfortable with any situation like this in order to pursue it. Of course you have to have conversations with your significant other, but they also should be respecting how you feel on the subject. Put it to him this way: in the same way he doesn't prefer to use condoms, you don't prefer to use birth control. If he continues to get mad at you about this and won't consider your side, it may be time to find someone who will respect things from your point of view. Because you only see each other every so often (and I wouldn't consider moving in with him until you've been together for awhile, but that's just me) I would say the use of condoms is more practical because you're not regularly sexually active.

As far as birth control goes, you can always go to Planned Parenthood if your insurance doesn't cover a regular doctor (or if its really expensive). They have quality nurses that give exams, and you can order birth control through them for next to nothing. There are health risks I suppose with most things, but I would consult with your doctor to see just how risky it is to take the pill. I was on it for years and I had no bad experiences, but again, that's just my own experience.

Back to this guy, if he won't respect what you have to say about forms on contraception that may make you feel comfortable or uncomfortable, it might be time to say see ya later. There might be someone great close by that you can meet rather than settle for a guy so far away that you already argue with. Just stand your ground, and do what you feel is right. Most of us have a gut instinct. Listen to yours!

[Dbrown]

Well I started Birth Control In March and I did it for my period, Made things worst..I've been on my period for 14 days now and I've been very emotial, I bloat but I guess that's normal. Every body reacts to the birth control differently, I gotten the Depo shot and wont continue it..My first time on Birth control.