[Jessieebee]

So, I'm sure everyone's annoyed by the amount of young girls complaining about hypertrophied labias, but I can assure you that my case won't bore you.

Here's the prob: I've had the hypertrophy for as long as I can remember, and I never thought anything of it until becoming sexually educated. I honestly think labial hypertrophy is a fake diagnosis and that everyone's different, but that doesn't mean it's not abnormal to a lot of people. Even though everyone's different and a lot of girls have the hypertrophy situation, people still get grossed out when their partner has it. And as much as you can try to tell someone that it's normal and everyone's different and labia size is like breast size, sometimes you're big and sometimes you're small...there are still those who find it unnattractive. Not an difficult thing to fathom, in my opinion.

Girls with this condition are always paranoid that men will be grossed out. And then they go and ask the men, and a lot of them are like, "No, it's cool, I like the buritto in my girlfriend's pants." Well, yeah, great, but I'm not exactly going for men. So what happens when a girl sees the hypertrophy? I honestly wouldn't blame her for being all, "ew."

So what am I supposed to do? I guess you could say, "Well, if you're both in love with eachother than it shouldn't matter and she should accept you for who you are!" Well, yeah, but...I'm fifteen. I've got nothing going for me in terms of a hot body or sexual prowess. I'm just kind of...trying to figure things out. And as a student in high school, I highly doubt my first time will be all special and sweet and a consummation of extreme love. More like on a couch all ed up, especially since it will be no-strings-attached. So in that type of scenario, the possibility of someone getting COMPLETELY turned off by the disgusting and discolored hypertrophy farm is definite. And surgery would be FANTASTIC, but I'm broke and there's no way I'm telling my mom about this. And even if she were gung-ho to get me all cut up, we don't have six thousand. Do you?

Now what? This situation is probably unfixable, but any advice at all would be appreciated. And let's just keep the irrelevant "Embrace yourself for who you are!" and "If she doesn't like it, it's her problem, not yours!" out, because the whole reason why I typed all of the above is to show why that won't work.

[WildChild]

There is quite a bit of info on this online. You may well be right that at the HS level there could be some people who react negatively to this but probably not so much as you imagine. When I was in my teens I was convinced that I had the hairest arms on a woman on the planet. Now well into adulthood I realize that they really aren't all that hairy in fact they are somewhat less than what may be average. Sometimes our expectations color our preceptions very strongly.

Some people, male and female, find a larger labia a real turn on. We've had male posters here note that as biggie for them. There is porn specifically specializing in this.

If you find it uncomfortable and a continued inhibitor you may want to start saving for a reshaping - apparently that can be done un-noticably and successfully. It sounds like you already have an idea of the cost. Women have had this as long as there have been women and it hasn't been an issue apparently. Your feelings about this will require that you take care in whom you share your body with and that isn't a bad thing. As you've said, you are young and still figuring out the whole sex thing, take it easy on yourself, take your time and you just may be pleasantly surprised.

[Little]

I've never had a problem with a female partner judging my ladyparts, and neither have I judged theirs. If you like it ... you like it. I would hypothesize that a woman would be kinder about judging another woman's parts ... and if the ones you're with aren't kinder, perhaps you should find another partner.
Chances are, the other lesbian/bisexual girls your age are figuring themselves out too. Would you judge a girl you were hooking up with?
The problem is, you're pushing away the only non-surgical solution. You're telling the other posters not to tell you to embrace yourself ... but it's the only thing you CAN do! You don't want us to tell you to ignore what other people say, but yet ... you have to.
There are TONS of porn sites dedicated to large labia. That means that there are TONS of people who like it enough to spend money having it visually recreated for them.
I hope you find peace about your body. I promise you that it comes with time. It wasn't that long ago that I was 15 years old and confused about my sexuality and body as well ... asking questions and soliciting advice from a safe place is a great first step.

[Tina Lee]

I feel for you JessieeBee:

That's a difficult age to be in, with the pressures of trying to figure out who you are.

We tend to be harder on ourselves, rather than anyone else. We look in the mirror, and notice every flaw. Have you ever heard of a man look himself in the mirror and say, "Geez, these pants make my butt look big today?" No.

Sorry for rambling, I just think that maybe you're being a bit hard on yourself.

[Hopeless Dork]

Thing is, its not something a person all turned on and reaching in your panties is going to give a flying banana about , really. If your with someone that goes down on you and shines a flashlight on your parts to aprove/disapprove of your labia you made a bad choice in partner picking, make a new one.

That being said, you don't have to be bucket naked with spotlights to the vag when having sex. Choose panties that are hot and sexy that maybe are crotchless so that when you give peeks your showing more of just your slit and opening than the whole 'enchilada' (no pun intended!).

Someone turned on by you isn't going to be turned off based on your vagina lips. Really. We live in a porn star culture and you are likely seeing pictures of all these airbrushed women or ones that have vagiplasty surgeries to have some ideal looking vagina (whos ideal, anyway?)

I don't have loose or long vaginal lips, so maybe I can't full understand what you are going through... but I do have numerous body flaws that I am conscious of and worried that they may turn my partner off (stretch marks being the biggie) . I just wear things that accuentuate the positive and take the focus off the negetive.

When you are with someone, its more likely you notice the things about them that turn you on over the the things about you that don't.

[ItsASecret]

It is bittersweet to read this. I have a medical condition which has resulted in the same hypertrophy as well as an enlarged clitoris due to higher levels of androgens during fetal development. It stinks. I am terrified of even having sex with the tv on or on the couch on a saturday afternoon...why? Because of the light. My boyfriend is becoming increasingly frustrated with the fact that I will not even let him give me oral and peek as he is doing it. He has to either give me oral under the covers so he cannot see anything in particular, or at night when there are many shadows around. Its a horrible feeling to not let the person you love just see you totally for who you are (even if they say they won't care how you look down there). If I could turn back time though I would have let him see the first time and not have it build up to the point were I refuse to have sex because he might see my lady area. Don't let that happen to you. I know you think the subject of self talk is garbage, I agree. I embrace medicine, not therapy or boring self counseling techniques. My advice would be to start thinking of ways to either convince yourself that things are going to be alright, or literally begin to plan your way through life and find a way to get the surgery. Personally I want the surgery, but like you said it is expensive (even here in Canada) and I won't be able to even try to get the money for many many years because of over 30 grand in student loans by the time I am done just my Bachelors degree.

[hopefuldave]

=ItsASecret;95068]It is bittersweet to read this. I have a medical condition which has resulted in the same hypertrophy as well as an enlarged clitoris due to higher levels of androgens during fetal development. It stinks. I am terrified of even having sex with the tv on or on the couch on a saturday afternoon...why? Because of the light. My boyfriend is becoming increasingly frustrated with the fact that I will not even let him give me oral and peek as he is doing it. He has to either give me oral under the covers so he cannot see anything in particular, or at night when there are many shadows around.
__________________

A rather delayed response here, but I want to say:

First, there's no such thing as a worthwhile lover, guy or girl, who'll be put off by the way you look there - if there were, guys would.never get any love-making, we can be pretty ugly or, if lucky, amusing to look at!

Second - if your boyfriend doesn't have an issue with giving oral there's no big deal with him seeing you, he'll have a very good idea what to expect (the tongue and.lips are very good at discovering form) and probably, almost certainly, **will like the way you look** or will be loving enough not to care.

Just my ha'pennorth
Dave