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  • kate09
    Member
    • Jul 2009
    • 10

    Past abuse suspicion ?

    Will the doctor suspect past abuse/rape if a girl closes her legs during a gyn exam or is very tight ?
  • Hopeless Dork
    Veteran Member
    • Dec 2008
    • 4255

    No. Many women tense up at the thought of a gyno exam regaurdless of sexual history and/or history of abuse.

    If you close your legs, they can take it as an indicator of shyness, nervousness, modesty, so many variables.
    Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.

    Comment

    • kate09
      Member
      • Jul 2009
      • 10

      What if I close my legs right when they are about to insert fingers or the speculum ?

      Comment

      • Hopeless Dork
        Veteran Member
        • Dec 2008
        • 4255

        It wouldn't give them any more reason to expect abuse. If you read through some scared of the gyno posts, there are many women with no sexual abuse history that are terrified of a stranger putting some apperatus in their vagina. They are professionals and have seen it and heard it all before, I don't think anything you do on that table would shock them.

        Can I ask you though, were you abused and you are afraid of them knowing? Or were you not abused and afraid of them thinking you were? Either way, there is nothing telling about a vagina or a persons reaction to an exam that would indicate abuse in most cases, unless there was fresh tears or trauma (bruises etc) and even then they'd no more know if that was rough sex or rape etc..

        They are there to make sure you don't have cervical cancer, std's etc.. they really aren't there to figure out the emotional aspects of what is going on with you, and would likely refer you someone to talk to if they felt you might need to , say if you started crying or something during the exam... someone might hand you a card for a rape counselor or something.. but other than that I don't see them involving themselves too much.

        What are you afraid of?
        Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.

        Comment

        • kate09
          Member
          • Jul 2009
          • 10

          I am a virgin and I'm scared they wont stop if it hurts, I'm scared I'll tense up a lot and close my legs.

          Comment

          • Hopeless Dork
            Veteran Member
            • Dec 2008
            • 4255

            Be sure they are aware of your virginity status prior to the exam, let them know you are afraid of it hurting, this will make them take extra special precautions to ensure your comfort the entire time.

            Given that you are a virgin, they will probably be able to do a much less invasive exam on you.

            Do you use tampons? If so its definitely no worse than that.
            Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.

            Comment

            • kate09
              Member
              • Jul 2009
              • 10

              I know a speculum is really big. it's bigger than a tampon.

              I'm 22 though and they'll laugh at me being a virgin and being scared.

              Comment

              • CHANDLERS WISH
                • Mar 2008
                • 22440

                Your assuming..........

                Talk to them "before" they do anything and explain your fears..... that way they will be aware that you haven't had this done before let alone something larger.

                You'll be fine.

                CW
                PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

                Comment

                • krisnb416
                  Junior Member
                  • Aug 2009
                  • 2

                  definently tell them I was 16 and a virgin and didn't tell my doctor...well it HURT really bad and I bled alot....it probably wouldn't have been near as bad if I would have told her

                  Comment

                  • Katsaly
                    Senior Member
                    • Aug 2009
                    • 127

                    Originally posted by kate09

                    I'm 22 though and they'll laugh at me being a virgin and being scared.
                    Um. No. No doctor will think you are weird or laugh at you. Tell the doctor the truth and then try your best to relax until it's over. Some doctors will even talk to you to help distract you. Don't be so scared. It really isn't that bad. And being a 22-year-old virgin does not make you weird.

                    Comment

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