[laswell89]

Hi, I'm new to the boards. I'm almost 21 yrs old and I have never had sex or used a tampon before. I have tried both several times to no avail. I have looked at myself using a mirror and it seems that my hymen is just almost entirely closing off my vaginal opening. I have a period every month, so I know that their is an opening there for menstrual blood to flow through, but apparently this is not enough for larger things to penetrate me. I am currently in a serious relationship and really want to have sex. I would also love to finally be able to use tampons. I really hate this entire situation!

I don't know if there is any way to break my hymen and make pentration easier on my own? I feel pretty uncomfortable when I try to put a tampon in or try to insert even a single finger. I can only get a tampon in about an inch before it starts to hurt. I'm wondering if there's a way I can fix this problem on my own or if it's possible that a gynecologist could break it for me if I asked? I have never had a pelvic exam.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Welcome to the Forum

Keep experimenting with a little finger when your not on your periods obviously, you have to be moist inside and maybe when you get your period, there's not much flow and therefore, it hurts because your dry inside.. You can try a little lube on the tampon and see if that helps you get it in as well.

Some women are very tight until they have sex, this seriously isn't un-common at all, all you can do is take your time, use a little lube and start from there sweet.

CW

[laswell89]

Thank you for the reply, it was helpful!

I've been told it hurts and you bleed the first time you have sex if your hymen isn't broken. Is this true? I'm nervous about the pain. And how much do you actually bleed when it breaks?

[lime_lemur]

Please see a doctor before trying sex or tampons. I'm a little nervous about this subject because I had a very terrible experience with my hymen. The first time I used a tampon it went in fine, but when it became saturated and expanded, it wouldn't come out. After painfully tugging at it desperately, I looked in a mirror and saw a band of flesh stretched across my vagina holding the tampon in - it was my hymen, which was apparently deformed and had a septum shape instead of the normal flap of skin. It was extremely thick, so I couldn't tear it, and went right across the center of the opening, making it impossible to get the tampon out. I had to have the hymen surgically removed.

Even after having it removed, I still bleed sometimes during sex from minor tearing. Some people are just tight and it takes a while to loosen the skin around the area. I never sued tampons again until after having sex because I was still afraid of them. Sex doesn't all have to be done at once... take it slowly, go a little bit farther at a time. Sometimes when my boyfriend and I don't have sex for a long time, he can only get it in a little bit before it hurts to much and we have to try again the next day. It's a bit of a pain, but not horrible.

[laswell89]

Thank you for your reply.

I am not sure that I have the septum shape you are referring to... I can't see any "band" across the center, just a general skin type thing that seems to cover most of the opening. Surgically removed? That doesn't sound good. What you said about sex does make me feel better though... I will definitely have my boyfriend take it slow at first. I'm hoping it doesn't hurt too much!

[lime_lemur]

I hope my resposne wasn't scary or anything... lol. I think my case is rare and I doubt women need to have their hymens surgically removed very often. Apparently there are rare cases of multiple holes in the hymen, or no opening at all. Yours sounds like the normal shape, just a little bit bigger. Tampons hurt for a lot of people - it helps a lot to put some lubricant on yourself and the tampon first, and it has to go in at the right angle. Sometimes it still hurts a lot for me if I'm not doing it right. If you can get it in an inch, that means it's getting through your hymen - however, it may hurt coming back out since it expands. But you can get slender ones that should be easier.

[nanzapp]

Hi I am 17 years old, I'm a virgin and cant wear a tampon... I was wondering if my gyno who I'm going to see for the first time EVER on 2/9 will break it for me if it will help me out. I also heard that having sex for the first time even masturbation with a vibrator or toy will hurt and cause bleeding and I'm afraid to break it myself. Do think she will?

[Aethar]

hi, your gyno can ask a surgeon to perform an operation to either remove or open the hymen. I know this because i had it done monday. It hurts a little afterwards and you can experience bleeding for up to a week, but this is just like a regular period. Also you may experience some uncomfort when you first have sex and some women do bleed, but not all. It just depends on how your body reacts, every woman is different.

I hope ive helped answer your question Be safe.

[sky123]

Hi I just joined today because I have a little problem. I let a guy finger me, I was still a virgin and i told him this and not to go too deep, he obliged, but was really rough, and after a while, it started to hurt, because of friction, I think i wasn't wet enough or something... We did this for two days, and on the second day, i asked him to stop. this was two days ago, there was no blood when he was finished, I checked. today I felt kinda funny down there. kinda like how i feel right before I get my period. so I checked it today, in front of a mirror, and I noticed I was wider than usual, and there was no blood. 10 minutes later, I went to check again, because the feeling was getting worse, and there it was, a little clump of fresh blood. Is it pieces of my hymen leaking out? did it break because of the strain from that painful fingering? I'm really freaked out. can someone explain?
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I'm sorry, I don't think this will help you, but I dont know how to start a thread to ask my own question, or a link to ask direct questions, I googled, and this thread came up.