[leos]

hello mam..
actually, i m in gr8 problem..
i had sex with my bf just once 2 yrs back..now we had break up..
i just wanted 2 know will it create problem 4 my married life?
will my partner in any way can come 2 know abt it?
i didnt have bleeding at tht time...
so is my hymen broken?
plzz help..
it is depressing me
thnx

[CHANDLERS WISH]

The last man was your boyfriend, did you want to and felt love at the time? It's not wrong nor, right, for any man to "judge you".

Honestly? I didn't bleed when I first eventually had sex, and I do know a hymen can be broken from lots of "energetic" things too, such as horse back riding, as 1 only example.

Any "future" husband, will respect that he wasn't the first person you "met" but also respect your viriginty over the fact that the last boyfriend was 2 years ago. And, you felt it was going to lead then, somewhere but didn't.. Anyone who can't, thinks only of themselves and the goals, critierias in life, wants, that = marriage.. It's actually the person, compatibility, and grateful you have morals, and understanding of life, in my opinion.

[leos]

bt, plzz tell tht wht will b change in me after nt being virgin?
people here r very narrow minded..they always want to marry a virgin girl and nt d other..
so m asking tht will it create problem 4 my married life?
will my partner in any way can come 2 know abt it?
is there any way 2 know abt tht?....
coz m nt going to tell my partner abt this ever coz it will create frictions..

[Mes T]

In my opinion there's no way your partner could know about it, considering that there's more than enough evidence to show that hymens (if you ever even had one...) break from regular activity anyway.

If your partner goes looking for a hymen as definite proof of your virginity, it means he doesn't have education on this matter.

[leos]

so, this means i can marry anyone without having to b tense about this virgin issue?
can u tell me d details of cases or activities where hymen can b broken?
is bleeding necessary after breaking of hymen?

[caterpillar79]

Yes, you don't need to worry about it. Rid your mind about that notion. I was once in the same boat that is why I was compelled to marry young, just because he kissed me already and I thought...man! I was already kissed! I am no longer a virgin. Honestly that was it.

Now, I know better. Most men won't be able to tell whether you're still avirgin or not, especially if you are small, and you know how to do some kegels.

Activities such as horseback riding, gymnastics, bicycling, rock climbing, manually scrubbing the floor with a coconut husk (I did that when I was a teen), among others would be sufficient to break one's hymen. In some cases, due to delayed and/or irregular menstruation, doctors have to examine you and/or clean you up inside - that is enough to de-virginize you. This is also another eason why my mom refused to have me checked and "cleaned" when I was in my teens and was having a delayed menstruation of 3 months (mind you, I was a virgin then so...).

Sometimes, even if your hymen is broken, there is no evident bleeding.

So, leos... don't lose sleep over it. If he loves you truly, virginity should not be an issue.

[Mes T]

That's right, regular exams at the OBGYN could break it, and you wouldn't want to marry a guy who cares about a hymen more than your (hypothetical) health checks at the doctor's, would ya?

[leos]

thnx..
ur replies have given me some relaxation..
i was worried how to tell every1 even my family...
i was thinking nt 2 marry any1 coz it wud create prob in my married life..
i hope there wud b no prob..
thnx a lot