[XSilentHills]

I think I may have lost my virginity, but I can't remember what happened and cannot trust the other person. I understand that the hymen can be damaged if intercourse took place, and can be examined by a doctor to see if it has been damaged, but I'm not comfortable with that. Is there a way I can check myself for my own knowledge?

[Mes T]

Have you used a tampon before, put your fingers up there, or even done some vigorous exercise? If the answer is yes to any of those, it's entirely possible your hymen could have been broken ages ago without you ever knowing. Also, some women never have hymens to begin with.

I guess all you can do is check to see if anything there feels different, if you're a little sore, if there's semen up there...

It worries me that you can't remember what happened. I hope that's the first and last time that happens!

[lizzardb63]

If you're tender or sore down there, its possible you could have had sex, but if you don't remember, I don't think there is any way of truly knowing without a physical exam and that might not even be able to help. If I were you, I'd worry more about pregnancy and STD's because if you don't know what happened, that could be bad! Watch for your period, and get a pap anyway, just to be on the safe side with sexually transmitted diseases...ESPECIALLY IF YOU CAN'T TRUST THE OTHER PERSON.

[XSilentHills]

Not the first, and probably not the last, sadly.

The thing is, I've been having mental problems since those occasions, and would like to know if anything happened so I can get proper treatment. It happened a long time ago, it has just been worrying me greatly, and now I must know, but like I said, I'm not comfortable with having a doctor examine me. I'm also afraid of the answer, but it may have to be done- and if it does, I want to be the one to check, not some strange doctor.

[Mes T]

But hon... like we said... it's very difficult to get an answer in either case, but a doctor would have a greater chance of giving you some answers.

You're gonna have to start going to OBGYNs on a regular basis at some point anyway. The first time is the hardest, and then it gets exponentially easier afterwards. Don't be afraid of doctors - sure visits aren't the most exciting things in the world but... they could save you a lot of grief in the long run, if you ever have some kind of problem. (Most of us do.)

Btw, you're predicting that that won't be the last time you save sex and don't remember it? There's no reason for that - take control of your life and your body.