[goldrose]

Hi, to give a bit of background on this - I lost my virginity about four years ago (I am now in my early twenties) and the experience was excruciatingly painful. It was almost impossible for him to fully penetrate me even though he was roughly average in size. I also bled an abnormal amount during the encounter - I know it's normal to bleed a little during your first time, but I'm talking heavy bleeding, my legs and sheets were completely covered in blood Since then I have only attempted sex once more (with a different person) and it was unsuccessful as the pain was unbearable. Also he couldn't get properly inside me no matter how hard he pushed, as there seemed to be a barrier there stopping him from penetrating me.

Shortly after I lost my virginity I noticed a cluster of tissue about an inch inside my vagina (on the front wall) which is painful to touch. I know people are usually slightly rough inside, but mine feels more like a growth as it seems to be obstructing the entrance. It hasn't gone away, so I went to my GP who examined me and suggested genital warts, which I knew was unlikely as I used a condom each time. I got myself checked anyway and was told that it definitely wasn't warts. She noted however that I had a lot of rough tissue but didn't know the cause. I think this is definitely the reason behind my sexual problems but I'm not sure what's caused it and how to deal with it. One possibility is that maybe my hymen was never fully broken, and its remnants are causing me pain? If this is the case, how do I go about removing it? I'm desperate for help as there is no way I'm ever going to attempt sex again if it causes me that level of agony!

[AshB$]

I never even remember having "hymen" or feeling it or seeing it. I never remember anything breaking like that.
Go to a gyno because I'd have no idea, but the best thing would be a doctor. It doesn't sound normal to me. And if it's getting in the way that much, it should be dealt with. Good luck.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hi goldrose, welcome to the Forum.

Some women are very "small" and tight down there and it takes time and sometimes also size does matter to have a man enter in an enjoyable way.

I'd like to hope you don't go back to the Doctor that suggested it was warts considering you seeked alternative help and established it isn't.

Lubrication is also a major part in the beginning, you don't know what sex feels like as in intimacy until you feel it in its totality. I would say you were scared the second time around and tighted up big time.

Was the "sex" with someone who was easy on you, patient, did you have feelings for him, him you.. Did he try to go in quite quickly and penetrate.

I think you need to give us a bit more info.

CW

[jns]

Lubrication, level of sexual excitation and size all have something to do with getting pleasure from sexual penetration. Can you get yourself to orgasm by masturbation? Have you worked on penetrating yourself with one or more fingers? Are you using enough lubrication? You could use a series of gradually larger dildos or vibrators to gradually stretch you out a bit, of course using lubrication and getting ready first by having an orgasm just before.

As for the extra tissue, all hymens are not created equal nor are all vaginas. Go to a gynecologist with a lot of experience.

[goldrose]

Thanks for your replies.

Was the "sex" with someone who was easy on you, patient, did you have feelings for him, him you.. Did he try to go in quite quickly and penetrate.

Yes, looking back on my first time he was quite rough - we were both very drunk and didn't really have feelings for each other, so the whole thing was a big mistake! I'm not convinced that my problems are purely psychological though, as my GP must have noticed that something wasn't normal when she examined me. I can also feel "something" there myself, but I'm not sure what it could be.

[goldrose]

Lubrication, level of sexual excitation and size all have something to do with getting pleasure from sexual penetration. Can you get yourself to orgasm by masturbation? Have you worked on penetrating yourself with one or more fingers? Are you using enough lubrication? You could use a series of gradually larger dildos or vibrators to gradually stretch you out a bit, of course using lubrication and getting ready first by having an orgasm just before.

As for the extra tissue, all hymens are not created equal nor are all vaginas. Go to a gynecologist with a lot of experience.

I can only orgasm through external masturbation, never through any sort of penetration. Usually anything more than one finger is quite painful for me. As for lube, I will definitely use it when/if I have sex with somebody again, although at the moment the thought of even trying sex again is frightening! As for your suggestion to see a gynecologist, I have looked online at people I can see locally and they're all very expensive, especially as I don't have a clear idea of what my problem really is. Is it definitely worth paying to see someone?