[lasvegasseaotter]

Okay, this is gonna sound nuts but here it goes. I guess i'm lucky, I have no experienced a loose vagina even despite slight promiscuity in college. I've only been sexually active for 4 years, but despite that I still retain alot of tightness, it's actually a problem. I've noticed with average guys, not even big guys (bigger guys is usually worse) just anything but small guys upon penetration I feel like 25% of the pain I felt loosing my virginity. Yeah, it only last the first few thrusts and it's gone, and usually I am properly lubricated too, it's like i'm literally that small on the inside I can feel a little rip. I've bled after sex before. Not like I have an STD or painful intercourse blood, but like, i'm literally that bruised up because i'm that small down there. And I know I hear alot of people that say "oh well if you can have a baby you're crazy!! you cant be too small" but I am!!! if not my vagina is awkward. I notice that 10% of it kinda falls under the skin between my vagina and *** and alot of the time that skin also (depending on the angle during sex, but I dont pay attention to notice which) chaffs really bad to the point the skin is irritating and ripping and swollen itself. I always thought when I lost my virginity my vagina would be perfectly stretched for a penis and more and more i'm learning that while sex must be amazing for my partners, the width of my vagina is still causing me problems and while it does stretch out during sex I feel like it always heals back up and I rip again slightly everytime im penetrated. Has anyone ever heard of this?

[LisaW1991]

I am very petite, so I kinda know what you are talking about. For me to have sex and fully enjoy it without it being painful, I need to be fully aroused and that can easily take over 1 hour of foreplay before sex.

You might consider seeing a gynecologist or medical doctor that deals with female difficulties. I first had sex when I was 12, and it was painful and very sore the next day. I just kinda accepted that sex was like that until I confided in a older woman I trusted, and she explained I needed to be much more aroused before letting a guy entered me. She also took me to a gynecologist where I learned even more about my body and how sex works. Sex still can be a little painful, but its the kind of pain that is OK to have during sex, and can make orgasms more intense sometimes if the guy knows what he is doing.

[Harmony]

This is really interesting to read, I dated a very petite girl for a while and she complained that sex was painful and she required literally at LEAST 30 minutes of foreplay to become aroused enough for comfortable sex. She didn't seem to have a very high sex drive, and I always got the feeling she was only having sex to try and please me; she also confessed to never having had an orgasm at the age of 23 (not that unusual I suppose) so in short we weren't very sexually compatible and didn't have sex many times while we dated. While a lot of men claim to like their woman 'tight' (that expression makes me feel sick) I really, really don't see what the fuss is about. I initiated sex less and less as it was obvious she wasn't really getting much out of it and I'd prefer not to have sex with someone if they're not enjoying it.

I never blamed her at all, but what she wouldn't do was open up and talk to me about it and didn't seem very interested in working through it. We're still friends now and I think she had a BF so hopefully everything is sorted out now.

OP, I'm guessing you're single? I know this is easier said than done but one option is finding a BF with a smaller sized penis? Just like some women insist that they need a bigger man, it sounds like the opposite could hold true for you?

One other suggestion, on top of the recommendation from LISA1991 of loads of foreplay is have the man enter you very, very slowly. I've suggested this technique loads of times and it may be of assistance to you next time you have sex, it also helps the man to last longer and adds to the duration and intensity of the foreplay.

This requires no work on the woman's behalf, all you need to do is tell your man that when the tip of his penis touches the lips of the vagina he needs to pause (self control required on his behalf) and enter you very, very slowly over the course of at least 20 deep breaths.

1) Tell your partner that when you're ready to be entered you'll guide his penis into you and not before;
2) Make sure you're both lubricated (lube, saliva, natural lube)
3) make sure the breaths are very slow and deliberate
4) if he's getting too excited and getting too deep make him pull out and start again with just the very tip of his penis in you
5) if 20 breaths aren't sufficient for you to relax fully or it hurts then make him pull out ad continue with other means of foreplay and then start over again.

Perhaps you could also try practicing alone too?

I hope this helps

[LisaW1991]

1) Tell your partner that when you're ready to be entered you'll guide his penis into you and not before;
2) Make sure you're both lubricated (lube, saliva, natural lube)
3) make sure the breaths are very slow and deliberate
4) if he's getting too excited and getting too deep make him pull out and start again with just the very tip of his penis in you
5) if 20 breaths aren't sufficient for you to relax fully or it hurts then make him pull out ad continue with other means of foreplay and then start over again.

This is good advice. I have something similar. I am very petite because of health problems I had when I was 11, and I stopped developing, thus my physical\sexual maturity never fully developed. Going slow truly is an requirement for me, otherwise entry is very difficult and painful. Once fully aroused, there rarely is problem.

I've kinda always had a problem with the guy\bf having an his orgasm very quickly. When I first started having sex I was very naive about sex and accepted that it was normal for him to have his release soon after entering me. When I confided in an older friend who was already in college, she told me I needed to be more in control during sex so I could fully enjoy it (have orgasms) by having the guy go a lot slower. At the time it was hard because I was 12 and dating guys older than me (some a lot older) so taking more control wasn't something I easily could do. Some wanted to start having sex on the 1st or 2nd date, and just telling them I wanted to take things slower was very hard for me. They were guys I really like, and I wanted them to like me, and I was very physically\sexually attracted to them too. I kinda found out the hard way that a couple of them just liked me because they wanted to have sex, but once I started insisting that things go slower, I noticed that the nicer guys didn't get upset, only the guys who were just too horny and out of control wouldn't take "no" or "I want to wait" as an answer.

[Harmony]

This is good advice. I have something similar. I am very petite because of health problems I had when I was 11, and I stopped developing, thus my physical\sexual maturity never fully developed. Going slow truly is an requirement for me, otherwise entry is very difficult and painful. Once fully aroused, there rarely is problem.

I've kinda always had a problem with the guy\bf having an his orgasm very quickly. When I first started having sex I was very naive about sex and accepted that it was normal for him to have his release soon after entering me. When I confided in an older friend who was already in college, she told me I needed to be more in control during sex so I could fully enjoy it (have orgasms) by having the guy go a lot slower. At the time it was hard because I was 12 and dating guys older than me (some a lot older) so taking more control wasn't something I easily could do. Some wanted to start having sex on the 1st or 2nd date, and just telling them I wanted to take things slower was very hard for me. They were guys I really like, and I wanted them to like me, and I was very physically\sexually attracted to them too. I kinda found out the hard way that a couple of them just liked me because they wanted to have sex, but once I started insisting that things go slower, I noticed that the nicer guys didn't get upset, only the guys who were just too horny and out of control wouldn't take "no" or "I want to wait" as an answer.

Lisa, if you don't mind me saying, the age of 12 quite young to be dating "older guys... some a lot older... who were just too horny and out of control and wouldn't take 'no' for an answer...".

You do have the right to say no to any man, and it's always best for your won safety to avoid putting yourself in situations where you may find you are at risk of being taken advantage of. I'd also rigorously challenge the intent and degree of rectitude of any "older man" who is having sexual relations with a 12 year old, especially one who is "too horny to take no for an answer".

[LisaW1991]

Lisa, if you don't mind me saying, the age of 12 quite young to be dating "older guys... some a lot older... who were just too horny and out of control and wouldn't take 'no' for an answer...".

You do have the right to say no to any man, and it's always best for your won safety to avoid putting yourself in situations where you may find you are at risk of being taken advantage of. I'd also rigorously challenge the intent and degree of rectitude of any "older man" who is having sexual relations with a 12 year old, especially one who is "too horny to take no for an answer".

yeah, I understand what you're saying.

Maybe I should clarify further, nothing ever bad happened to me. When I first had sex it was with a boy who was only slightly older than I was. We shared a mutual curiosity about sex that got out of hand, starting in spring and leading to sex in summer. At the time I thought I would just have sex once just to see what it was like, but was surprised that having sex was far different than I thought it be. I was very conflicted\confused and wrote pages and pages in my journal about what is was like. Bottom line was I liked it A LOT, but couldn't figure out in my own mind why. What I really liked was the cuddling and closeness that we shared being along together, and sex made those feelings feel a lot more intense, and I liked those (sexual) feelings. However, its not like I figured it out when I was 12, at the time I came up with some pretty crazy ideas about sex that were based on unrealistic romantic fantasies that only 12 year old girls believe to be true.

I didn't have a sex with a much older guy until I was 14, and that took sex to a whole new level because he had a lot of sexual experience, so it wasn't like having sex with a few boys slightly older, who were very cute, but mostly clueless about sex, and had practically no self-control. He was really intense.

[Harmony]

You don't have to explain yourself to me Lisa, but thanks for sharing; and I'd just like to say I wasn't having a dig at you in any way.

Girls do generally mature faster than boys and we all progress at different paces. While I've never had sex with a teenage boy, I was one once, and I didn't start having sex until I was 19, and I was rubbish for ages. As I got older I started to realize why girls often go for older men.

One girl on here raised an excellent point once that once we start having sex we never really stop - which is pretty accurate although there will be exceptions of course - so once out initial curiosity is satisfied and we try sex we automatically want to continue and start experimenting and experiencing new things.

[LisaW1991]

You don't have to explain yourself to me Lisa, but thanks for sharing; and I'd just like to say I wasn't having a dig at you in any way.

Girls do generally mature faster than boys and we all progress at different paces. While I've never had sex with a teenage boy, I was one once, and I didn't start having sex until I was 19, and I was rubbish for ages. As I got older I started to realize why girls often go for older men.

One girl on here raised an excellent point once that once we start having sex we never really stop - which is pretty accurate although there will be exceptions of course - so once out initial curiosity is satisfied and we try sex we automatically want to continue and start experimenting and experiencing new things.

What is you says is very true about once a person starts having sex, its not something that easily turned off. At 12 I didn't know that, I didn't expect to have sex again for a while, but about a week later I had sex again with the same boy (my bf at the time) and it just continued from there. That summer about once or twice a week we managed to find a time where we could be alone and have sex. I found it intriguing that he could get erections, and I was equally fascinated how my body got aroused as it was preparing for the possibility of having sex. Its rather embarrassing to admit, but when we were having sex we both stared down watching his erection enter me.

When I was 14 I had sex with a man for the first time, and he was very very good\intense. He knew what he was doing, and for me it took sex to a whole new level. When we had sex he treated me like I was a fully mature mature woman, and I loved having sex that way; for 1-2 hours he made me feel all grown up. It was the first time I had received\given oral sex, and he gave me several intense orgasms that way. I would say he taught how to have mature sex, the type of sex people have when they really care about each other, not just having puberty sex or teenager sex that tends to be very quick and a bit awkward.