[Sweetheart13]

I just turned 17 a couple of months ago and I'm a senior in high school. I know there's nothing forcing me to do it, but most of my friends have done it so does that mean if they're old enough, I am too? And my boyfriend wants it so bad. He would never, ever, EVER pressure me into something I'm not ready for, but I want to make him happy. What should I do?

[Sonita]

I think it depends on what YOU want & feel confortable with. Don't feel like you need to please anyone else....make sure If/When you do it, it's because you want to experience it.
It's great your boyfriend isn't pushing you though, that's a start!
How long have you been dating?

Just don't rush into anything. Think about what you want to do, for yourself...not other people.

[shweedart]

I suppose to being mentally ready more than anything not physically(age wise). Don't think because your friends are doing it you should be too! Quite a lot of my friends lost their virginity at the young age of 14!!! Other people I know still aren't sexually active in their mid-20's, I lost mine at 16 so it really is down to you. If you love him and he loves you then you already make him happy. Don't WANT to have sex just for him. Want it because you want it. When you do, then your ready

[WildChild]

Shweedart is right, you need to do what is right for you. The 'everybody else is doing it so it must be ok' thinking is wrong. It is possible for "everybody" to be wrong, look at what happened in Germany during WWII. What you think they are All doing, I can guarantee plenty aren't doing. Take your time. Of course he wants it SO bad, young males are delightfully horny pretty much all the time, he can handle it (literally) lots of them do and survive just fine.

Right now you can explore your sexuality and learn a lot just making out and playing. Taking it slow and finding out what gets you going without intercourse will serve you well later. Whatever you decide to do make sure you do it safely, use protection.

[SinisterUrge]

Shweedart is right, you need to do what is right for you. The 'everybody else is doing it so it must be ok' thinking is wrong.

Agreed. A healthy sexual relationship is based on two factors: A. Your partner is a consenting adult (and 17 is legal in most areas for consensual sex). and B: None of the activities engaged in move beyond either partners comfort level.

If you're not comfortable with intercourse (or anal or S&M or toe sucking or whatever) then your partner has no RIGHT to force you to do that. If he continues to bother you about it, thats a pretty good indicator you need a new BF.

So in summary: 17 is certainly old enough physically to have sex. But if you're not ready or willing mentally or emotionally then you most certainly SHOULD NOT have sex now. You'll know when you're ready, don't let other people pressure you.

[reilu]

hey! look, i just turned 18 a few weeks ago, and, like you, am a senior in high school. i have never experienced sex before, and really, i'm in no rush to. i don't think i am quite ready for it. i want to wait until i find the right guy. i want to have sex for love, not solely for pleasure. and its alright if your first guy isn't the one that you end up marrying. but don't do it just to make him happy. make sure you are happy about doing it. if he is the right guy, then he will wait until YOU are ready. BOTH parties have to be ready for it. from what you said, it sounds like he is respecting that you havn't wanted to do it so far. he'll wait for you, if he's the right guy. again, both have to be ready. make sure you do it for love, not lust. TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS!!! don't do what you aren't totally comfortable with, and tell him that. he will understand.

[Phoebee]

I'm repeating what others are saying. A lot of women wish they could go back and make better choices.

I think that because most of your friends have is possibly the worst reason for you to consider it. This like so many things has to be about you. And whats good for you. I also think its worth suggesting that some of your friends who "do it" might be full of it. I know that trading notes with friends who everyone KNEW were doing it taught us that what people said about how active they were and what was the reality were two very different things.

Are you sure that you will be able to handle it? When I was 17 I would say the answer was no. Too much drama. I had not even known any boys that long. Have you considered STDs and Pregnancy? If not? Your not old enough. Talk to your doctor first about birth control. Talk about the dangers of SDTs and how best to protect yourself. It maybe that you boyfriend has been far more active then you know. YES boys lie! Assume this and plan around it. There are things like Herpes that your stuck with for life and that will make all your future relationships more difficult to impossible because once you have it? Your stuck with it for life and you can give it to future husbands and even your kids. And while I ducked that one I know its unpleasent.

What do you know about your own sexuality? Have you ever climaxed by yourself? If your answer is that you don't masturbate etc I strongly suggest you find out what makes you tick before you let anyone else.

[Guest]

to sweetheart13, its up to you to dertermine when YOU are ready. just because everyone else is doing it doesnt mean you have to.
hey if they all do drugs are you going to do that too?
or what if they all steal and join gangs, are you gonna do that also because thats what everyone is doing?
do what is going to make yorself happy. you want to just have the kissing and touching, do just that. if you want more, do that. but do it b/c you want to and when you are ready to.

now for ROO, (LOL) read what you wrote. and now take your own advice. what you said is good. so repeat to yourself just that. oh and clean up your crayola mess too. LOL

[SinisterUrge]

make sure you do it for love, not lust.

Well, I say doing it for lust is just fine so long as its your lust. I understand that "emotional connection" is required for most people, but really .... Sex is about the most fun a human is capable of having. This is why most of my past & future partners I haven't even liked, let alone loved (two of them I absolutely hated at the time).

So yeah, I say lust is a pretty good reason to have sex (in my case, it is the only reason). But peer pressure still isn't ever a good idea. Masturbation certainly never killed any BFs before.

[allison321]

Hey, It is complete up to you and what you feel is right. I know from my family experiences that sex is just an action people do to have fun. To me though, the only Virgin in my family of 11 sex is much more then just pleasing yourself (you can do that on your own) My moral decision is to wait until you are completely ready to take your relationship up to the next level. And to make sure he is who he clams to be. Also, If you do make sure you use proper protection!!! I know far to many 15-20 year olds that are pregnant right now (including my older sister who is 19) But everybody has a different look on sex, I guess all I can really tell you is just don't do it for him if you are not ready yourself. I hope this helped a little --- Allison. xox