[WildChild]

Been doing some reading lately with some history and it's been less than 2000 years that these arre ideas about women's sexuality and the need to severely repress it have been around. St Augustine one of if not the most influential of the early church fathers (384-386) believed that sexual desire was direct result of orignal sin and needed to be supressed. About 400 the Virgin Mary myth was brought into being in the church (earlier pagan mythos is full of mother goddesses who give birth to a son -with or without a male partner- who in adulthood typically becomes the lover and is then killed to be reborn -that's the cycle of life and fertility).

In 591 Pope Gregory declared Mary Magdelene a prostitiute, this wasn't corrected until 1969-there is no actual scriptural support for the idea but it was incorporated into various translations of the bible and into theology. St. Jerome (340-420) another, biggie in early church thought, believed femail passions were uncontrollable, and not governed by reason. He used the stories of David and Sampson to support this. That Delila and Bathsheba both came from pagan cultures where sex was worship and a sacred act, cut no dice with him.

St Ambrose (340-397) was another who was big time antiwoman. The 300's were a bad time for women in the church and set the tone for the following hundreds of years.

[WildChild]

Oppps hit the post button too soon. Ambrose put into place the idea that women, because of their lustful natures, should not be allowed to hold office (be priests). Some other early Christian movements such as Gnosticism had women active at all levels. St Ambrose equated women's sexuality with female inferiority. Not because women weren't sexual but because they were uncontrollably sexual. Interestingly in these early years men were never responsible for any sexual 'slips', it was all the women's fault.

Modern scholars are revisiting translations, looking at historical context and examining ancient texts that have come to light, such as the dead sea scrolls and are bringing to light a very different set of beliefs. Many are coming to believe that Jesus was far more tollerant than he was later made to be and may have been married - in fact he was unlikely to have had much respect in his community of the time if he hadn't been.

What's interesting to consider is how women went from being the unbridled, lustful gender to being the non-sexual, ininterested, unresponsive gender. Because European/Christain thinking became the standard for civlization, it affected many other belief systems. It is human nature to adopt characturistics of the dominate group. Study of Native American cultures, shows that this happened, cultures in which for thousands of years (there is evidence of human habitation here going back 10,000 years) women and men had fairly equitable roles, changed and women became marginalized in many native cultures.

It's facinating how people across the globe, over time, can under go such huge shifts in thinking and how much of it can be traced back to a handful of people's ideas. It does go to show what power our thoughts have! Sexually and otherwise.

I don't mean this to pick on Christianity, it went on in all three of the Abrahamic faiths over time and was picked up in part by others. It's just interesting how attitides toward women and sexuallity and control have changed and continue to change.

[Tanisha]

I need sex regular or I get really horny and agitated. If no guy is around I take care of it myself. I can last a few days with nothing but its hard to do and makes me irritated. 3 days max and then my willpower gives out and I need to hit it.

[mymirrose]

Tanisha, I have to admit, you hit the nail on the head, so to speak. I get really irritated. Taking care of myself doesn't usually help to much. It takes the edge off, but not for long. What makes me crazy is, I have my fiance right there, all the time, but his drive isn't anywhere near what mine is and he gets irritable when I push him for more sex. Thank you for making me realize I am not the only one!

[WildChild]

Have to agree with you ladies, what I can do for myself just keeps it tollerable. I'm climbing the walls. It's the pits. About time to shut down.

[Hopeless Dork]

I really don't mind that I seem to be way more sexually needy than my boyfriend, true that my orgasms with him leave me weak in the knees but I manage to create a pretty darn good orgasm for myself that leaves me pretty satisfied.

The only time it bothers me that my drive is likely higher is when I let my insecurities get to me and start to think his drive would be higher if I were hotter. I wear a lot of sexy things and while I can tell it pleases him It doesn't seem to spark his sex drive any more or less than if I am wearing jeans and a tee. Sometimes hes in the mood, sometimes not. I do my level best to just try not to take it personally, and masturbate.. a lot.

I mean we do have sexual relations probably 3 or 4 times a week which I guess is fairly normal in today's busy and stressful world. Me personally I adore him so much and want to jump him everytime he's within 3 feet of me lol

[Magnetism]

Women can be just as horny, BUT they are more selective and aren't as quick to act on their desire. This fools some men into thinking that women have lower sex drives. A lot of women would rather masturbate than have lousy sex with someone they're not attracted to. They don't avoid sex b/c they don't like it or don't want it. We want it, but we want it to be with a quality person.


Your drive doesn't have anything to do with how often you have sex or how quick you are to do it with someone, which is what some men I've met claim. They use the old "If you had just as high of a sex drive, you would do it with any guy that asks you." No. My sexual urges will NOT be satsified if I'm doing it with someone that I don't like.

[WildChild]

Absolutely true Panera. I'm climbing the walls but there's only one man I want. Period. No one else will do. Some women don't seem to feel this way. I've known some who really don't seem to care, I have a suspicion they really aren't that into sex, they are looking for the attention. I know what I want or more accurately, who. I get plenty of notice from men, I really don't care. It's nice and I always try to be appreciative of their little attentions but there is only one that matters. He's decided he needs "space".

Men need to understand that if a woman loves them, ignoring her is beyond painful. We get too many women on here who are going through that. Let it go on too long and her trust will be too damaged to fully connect. They will both suffer, he will be wondering why she changed, what's wrong with her, not understanding that he was the major cause and she will be in love with and loving a man that she no longer feels able to open up to, emotionally or sexually. It becomes a no win situation.

[cassie66]

its def true woemns sex drives are higher than mens. mines def higher thanmy hubbys. i tried 3 times yesterday with him alas he couldnt get hard. so frustrating.

[Magnetism]

[QUOTE=WildChild;72258]Absolutely true Panera. I'm climbing the walls but there's only one man I want. Period. No one else will do. Some women don't seem to feel this way. I've known some who really don't seem to care, I have a suspicion they really aren't that into sex, they are looking for the attention. [QUOTE]

Once I've talked to promiscuous people on a deeper level, it's true that they're sleeping around for other reasons (trying to prove something to themselves, coping with past sexual abuse, attention, intimacy, etc). People will defend themselves "I do it b/c I love sex," but there is something else behind that. Any therapist will tell you that most of their promiscuous clients (women and men) aren't happy.


I'm not putting down promiscous people (power to you as long as you're safe), but this is what I've experienced and read.