[Lrgjake3]

Im sure this post had to come up before, just couldnt find it im sorry... Wondering whats your biggest turn ons, wether it comes down to In clothes or out. Anything goes so give me ur best shot...


If a man is in good shape but not muscle toned meaning he doesnt have that Beer belly or gut, but not cut down to pure muscle could u still find him attractive?? Or is being in crazy good shape the way to go??

[WildChild]

LOL, taking a guess you are male? What's attractive depends on many factors, including age, maturity and intellect. Being a caring and decent person with good hygiene is more important than looking like you belong on the cover of Weekly Muscle mag.

What attracts me at 50 is somewhat different than what attracted me at 25, but then I guess I'm age appropriate in my attractions. The man I care for and find intensly attractive (just his voice gets my juices flowing) is balding and has a slight gut. What gets me going is his attitude, his strengths (that's not the same thing as being phsically strong - although he is) his occational sharing of vulnerabilties (that's not daily whining). He has the experience and caring to know just how to touch and a willingness to learn. What attracted me from the start was his confidence, blended with just enough insecurity not to be arrogant and his ability to be a focused listener. If he is actually listening (and men often don't,even when they do care) he remembers everything I say, he truly listens.

It sounds more like you are looking for initial attractions, rather than foreplay or bedroom suggestions?

[SinisterUrge]

If a man is in good shape but not muscle toned meaning he doesnt have that Beer belly or gut, but not cut down to pure muscle could u still find him attractive?? Or is being in crazy good shape the way to go??

Statistically speaking being the "heavily veined bodybuilder" is more likely to get you lucky with one night stands, but LESS likely to be in a romantic LTR (and this has been covered in depth by pretty much every mens fitness magazine ever printed).

Why is that?

*Spending four hours a day at the gym (plus your 40+ hour job) is not a big plus to most women.

*Roid Rage

*Eating nothing but creatine shakes, eggs and tuna-fish sandwiches do make you smell kinda funky after a few months.

On the flip side men who are obese don't see any action on the singles scene either. So to hedge your bets at gettin' lucky you best bet is to go lean or trim.

Also boost your odds with.....

*Good hygiene, You don't have to go crazy with the "products" (aka. men's cosmetics), but nobody likes furry backs either.

*Couture fashion (Do you even own a black single breasted? Did you buy it at Sears?) Do you own a pair of shoes that aren't work boots, sneakers, or sandals? You don't need to own your own white-tie ensemble, but all your t-shirts shouldn't have pictures of Chevy's on them either.

*Be quick with a joke. If you're over 21 slapstick probably isn't good, and reserve your "blue" material until you're certain it would actually be a good idea. Also avoid stage magic and knock-knock jokes.

*Be casual, charming, and have a good grasp of the english language. You don't need to be a dartmouth learned raconteur, but you should be able to make pleasant conversation about pop-culture and current events (including global issues)

*Learn to cook at least one beef, chicken, and fish dish. dessert would be nice too. Making a chocolate mousse or creme brulee from scratch is its own aphrodisiac.

*be polite.

*Go for women your own age (at least your own generation).

*Having a six-figure income or a Master's degree never hurt anybody's chances either.

*If your car has a "wing" and didn't cost upwards of $200,000 its time to grow-up and buy an adult car. Spinners and more than one subwoofer are also bad if you're no longer attending highschool.

[golden_nemesis]

This kind of made me laugh, especially after the conversation my partner and I had this weekend. He asked me, half-jokingly, if I would love him less if he got all muscle-bound because he is getting into a fitness kick for the summer. I love the man. I don't really care what he does to his body, as long as we can still go on hikes and other outdoor adventures together, so not being morbidly obese is my only requirement. :-) I might have hurt his feelings a bit though because I told him I doubted he could bulk up all crazy, since he tends to be on the lean lanky side, and anyway tends to train for endurance muscle rather than strength muscle.

But generally-speaking, I find an overall lean look to be the most attractive, not too skinny and not too fat and/or muscular. And I actually like a little softness around the edges, someone who has super low body fat is just less fun to cuddle with. Other than that, good personal hygiene is a bonus.

More than the physical, its a guy's attitude that can be an incredible turn on for me. Cockiness does it for some girls, but not me. Just kind of ****es me off. But a complete lack of confidence is no fun either. I like best what I call "quiet confidence". A man's actions speak for themselves, and occasionally displaying a little vulnerability lets me know he's a real feeling human being, and he needs me, and trusts me enough to let me share his burdens.

Another aspect of attitude and personality is optimism. The Debbie-downers of the world just make me tired. I love being with someone who sees the possibilities in life, and who generally sees the world as a pretty cool place to be. On the other hand, you don't want to ignore problems, that leads to trouble, so I would put my biggest turn on point as between realist and optimist.

Another thing that I find a major turn-on is his kindness. A man who will do pretty much anything for his friends and family, who shows courtesy and respect even for people he doesn't know well, is a man I like to be with. It is true when they say you can tell a lot about a guy by seeing how he treats animals and people in the service industry. However, its true that too nice is not always the best thing. A man needs to know how to stand up for himself, and a little bit of friendly dry sarcasm goes a long way to catching my eye.

Playfulness, a ready smile, looking a girl in the eye with love or at least interest, complete honesty and forthrightness, the list goes on. And it does vary from woman to woman, but these are my $0.02.

[ItsASecret]

Physically:
A guy who is built, but not a totally ripped body because that to me just seems too cocky. Another thing I look for in a guy is nice hair. No curls, no fuzz, no long hair, just the simple cut with the bedhead look (but not long frizzy bedhead haha). Tattoos are a major turn on for me, as long as they don't cover the entire body.

Personality:
Confident, but not cocky. Funny but not rude. Optimistic, but not over enthusiastic about life. The biggest trait to me though is respect. If he cannot give a woman the respect she derseves then he simply isn't worth the time of day. A guy doesn't need to fit an 'ideal' image if he can make me smile.

[sourpuss]

Im sure this post had to come up before, just couldnt find it im sorry... Wondering whats your biggest turn ons, wether it comes down to In clothes or out. Anything goes so give me ur best shot...


If a man is in good shape but not muscle toned meaning he doesnt have that Beer belly or gut, but not cut down to pure muscle could u still find him attractive?? Or is being in crazy good shape the way to go??

I like guys who are in very good shape. But natural shape, the kind of fitness you get from doing something active, not a gym body. A gym body is almost as big a turn off as a guy who is out of shape for me.

[AFemaleProdigy]

I am attracted to guys ranging from slender with little muscle tone to guys that have a mild muscle tone. I don't like the big beef cake guys (no offense to anyone). My husband is a really tall/skinny guy who works out at the gym about 3 times a week. He has muscle definition, but he isn't huge. And he really turns me on. Sooo...

I don't like guys that obsess about being huge and ripped. If a guy is worrying more about his looks then I worry about mine, it would drive me crazy.

As for turn ons...

I like guys with tattoos. LOL! Musicians (I think that's because I'm creative too. When I watch my husband play drums... well. I love aggression too, but it has to be played out just right.

Hope that helps!

[njman2008]

LrgJake3 - You should give us your reasoning for asking those questions...are you looking for relationship or are you looking for sex?

[Lrgjake3]

Not a one night stand kind of person, I guess im looking for a relationship. Just getting over someone i love dearly and going through a tough time. So ya i wanna make her jealous with women all over me and things like this i want her to look back and think she missed out guess im dreaming...

[WildChild]

Bad motivation usually won't get you very far. Why not work on devloping who you are as a person, finding new interests, expanding current skills, being super healthy in body and mind and see what comes your way?