[desperate for help]

why is it that as a man it is a general rule that what you do to get a women is what you need to do to keep a women

but sexually a women doesnt seem to want to do the same things she always use do to a man to keep him sexually happy

[Fallen1]

That's not necessarily true.

You will see many posts here where the female is questioning why her man has lost interest in sex etc.

[blondie80]

A woman needs to keep feeling loved and wanted and open in order to keep wanting sex, she needs to be able to express herself to let go of her anxietys if she has any or stress of the day.
We also crave a little change every now and then, if you know something that has always worked it gets boring when its done over and over variety is a big key in that one as well.
With this said alot of women if you read have a real healthy sex drive and their husbands are failing a little, I think really it evens out over time, we are different with needs and wants and that on both sides plays a big part on our sex drives i think.

[WildChild]

You seem to stereotype, assuming this applies to all women, assuming all men like women shaved (mine doesn't, nor do many others) Perhaps you need to rethink some of your assumptions? Try something different? Do things to show her how special your feelings are for her?

[sourpuss]

A woman needs to keep feeling loved and wanted and open in order to keep wanting sex,

This is the big thing for me. I dread starting a new relationship because of past experiences where the guys were all interested and sweet and romantic and then as soon as there was a commitment on my part...all the nice stuff stopped. Well, that stuff was what attracted me in the first place and when it stopped, I stopped feeling good about them and the situation and stopped wanting to have a sexual relationship.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Equality is actually, a good thing within a relationship.

If she feels like it's something you "want" instead of something she wants to give, and same for you, something you want to "give", not because it's what you knew you had to do to get her, then you have an equal understanding, as well as giving to each other because you love each other, not because one wants ....

CW

[WildChild]

I know what you are talking about Sourpuss. Have had it happen many times, they are so nice and attentive and loving - until you really "in" it, then it all stops. No more kissing, no more foreplay, no romance. I don't know what is the reason or the solution. Right now I'm just being patient, but if this doesn't turn around. I just may give up - it's happened too many times. It's hurtful, when you keep trying to keep it fresh and loving and you get just barely enough to keep you from walking.

[blondie80]

Have been there so many times its not funny, I need to feel secure to feel needed attractive and wanted and that for me comes with a little romance and foreplay I always thought that I was a more needy person until i read the posts on here and realised its a woman thing something we all really need. I sit here at times with my partner and he reads with me and he asks questions about why women feel like that and i can explain and he gets alot more now this site has helped in so many ways.
Through the last week I actually asked for a night away from the house and asked him to organise that for me and we ended up in a 5 star accomodation with bubbly on arrival and all sorts of little sweet gestures, but we both needed it he needed to feel he had done something for me and I needed to feel worth it so that was great for us.
But the point being we have been in a relationship now for a while but I still need to feel special, I dont like to feel like im being taken for granted or I am being used no woman does, sure we care we will love you death and follow you to the end of the world, but at the same time we need some care and love and affection and a little romance and time for that to happen.