[Ieshia]

Why is it considered an insult to a male when he hears about a female relative having sex. I have herd guys go up to other men and say, "I /had sex w/ your sister" and that is considered as an insult. As if this is old times when a female getting raped(or just having sex) was considered more of an insult to the girl's father or husband because she was looked at as property.

Everyone has a right to hate a guy if he rapes a girl but if a female relative willingly has sex with a guy, then why is that insulting to hear?

Also why do many men say, "guys just want to use women". It sounds like women don't enjoy sex at all and only do it for the man. Yes a guy acting like he wants a relationship and then dumping the girl after sex means he used her, but if the girl is only looking for sexual pleasure then she is obviously not being used.

[Ieshia]

Maybe i should make this thread in a forum for men lol

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Ieisha - having consensual sex with someone and a family member finding out that's all it was, was sex to her, "can" have an effect on the whole family as words spreads around. The key is to do what you want, but not get caught, ie) pick your targets carefully, that's only sensible because taking the family out of the equation, it is the way it is, how it is looked upon.

Whilst I do understand to a degree, your choice of bringing "rape" victims into this, it's 1) not the same thing, that happened un-willingly and a parent/family member/husband IS going to be very strong and clear on this... they were a victim..

Sleeping with anyone for no other reason that sex, can not be looked upon in the same light at all.. and I nearly didn't reply because rape is something that you can't put into this category.

So, it balls down to morals. Men can sleep with whoever they want and they will be called studs. Women can't without being called something in-different and in all honesty, once the word gets around, more than likely they can also get themselves into deep trouble, because someone will "assume" NO doesn't mean no and bang, sex occurred without your consent/ or hers whom every your referring to.

So, to me that's the only reason the word rape can be used in this equation.

There is nothing wrong with liking sex, wanting sex, having sex, but do it once with someone just because, and then someone else, just because, can as i said result in someone you don't want and in addition, create rumors that Adults / family member's have to face day by day.. I mean maybe even fights will break out as they defend your/her name...

So all again, I can say is choose wisely, and also be careful, STD, abuse, rape, murder, all sorts of things can happen if you choose badly... or the wrong place.


CW

[ThexMrs]

I have personal experience in this if I understand your thread correctly.

You wrote, "I have herd guys go up to other men and say, "I /had sex w/ your sister" and that is considered as an insult."

I think that it's pretty clear that a man/a brother/father what be it, would not want to know that his sister/daughter is having sex with someone, anyone for that matter. They have the need to protect their family. It's instinct. I don't think it's so much as an insult as it is a fear of them being 1) used 2) sexually active and 3) having sex just to have it. They may have been brought up with different morals and to see a family member acting differently then they were taught can be hurtful and to some embarrassing and shameful.

I had sex with my brother's best friend. The best friend told my brother and my brother was very upset about the whole situation. He feels the need to protect me. On many occasions before the sex my brother told him to leave me alone after hearing that we were "caught" kissing by some friends and when he was caught sneaking out of my room. It didn't deter us obviously.

[Ieshia]

I have personal experience in this if I understand your thread correctly.

You wrote, "I have herd guys go up to other men and say, "I /had sex w/ your sister" and that is considered as an insult."

I think that it's pretty clear that a man/a brother/father what be it, would not want to know that his sister/daughter is having sex with someone, anyone for that matter. They have the need to protect their family. It's instinct. I don't think it's so much as an insult as it is a fear of them being 1) used 2) sexually active and 3) having sex just to have it. They may have been brought up with different morals and to see a family member acting differently then they were taught can be hurtful and to some embarrassing and shameful.

I had sex with my brother's best friend. The best friend told my brother and my brother was very upset about the whole situation. He feels the need to protect me. On many occasions before the sex my brother told him to leave me alone after hearing that we were "caught" kissing by some friends and when he was caught sneaking out of my room. It didn't deter us obviously.

When you say your brother "feels the need to protect" you, is what i don't understand. I get it a bit, if it's about a dad feeling upset because to a father his kids are always babies and they feel they will not be making the right choices even when they're 30(this is only understandable if he treats his sons the same way). What i don't understand is why your brother felt the need to protect you, when i'm sure he has sex as well, also i'm guessing you, your brother and his friend are all around the same age, so it's not like you were 12 and his friend was 18 which will make it wrong.

[PJhavinfunagain]

It's nature...

I know my mom has sex but I do not want to know about it. Do not want details. Do not want to hear it. For me it's just wierd. Same kind of thing.

[ThexMrs]

As I said, it's instinct. No one wants their family members to get hurt. This doesn't mean rape necessarily but even a broken heart. Men were built to protect the same way women were. They're the hunter, gatherer, protector.

As for my particular situation. I haven't had a father since I was 11. He committed suicide so my brother tries to look out for me.

My brother is 7 years older than me. His friend is about 6 years older I think.

This happens even with boyfriends though. My brother's found out that my boyfriend was 36 and they threw a fit. They hadn't met him but based upon just his age they called him awful things like a rapist. To this day I can still quote my brother, "If I were 36 and I had a 21 year old putting out I'd do it too."