[kygirl]

For me, I love my sexual feelings, I love being creative, I love exploring -- but only with my guy. I'd never cheat on him, would never disrespect him, and always carry myself with as much class as I can muster for a clumsy unsophisticated girl.

But when we are alone --- I am the town sloot of our bedroom lol.

Thank you HD! That is my thought! I don't think all of his friends need to be privy to what all goes on in the bedroom and actually neither are all of mine, but I feel like that is a part of who I am. It's an intimacy thing for me. Everyone doesn't get to see that side of me, but when I really start to care about someone, I dont' want to feel like I'm being judged on the fact that I like sex.

[danceintx]

There may be some guys out there who think being a freak in the bedroom is the same as being "loose", but I don't think they all do. Honestly would YOU want to marry a guy as backward as that anyway? I don't have to worry about this since I'll never get married again anyway, but I have never met a guy who didn't want to get married because their SO was too wild in bed. And if they did I would think they were nuts.

[dolphinlefty]

haha. Yeah, I was as reserved as it gets but my boyfriend worked/is still working on the "closet freak" sex maniac he's so sure is locked in there. And what can I say, it's working. Show your partner what you got. He's got his own problems if he doesn't like it.

[Haven]

Haven- In the bedroom.

In that case, he's probably full of it. Is he married? Have married men talked to him about this? Where did he get his information from? If it bothers you, you could always ask him to clarify his remark.

. . .when I really start to care about someone, I don't want to feel like I'm being judged on the fact that I like sex.

All the guys I know would rate "I like sex" above "I don't like sex", so I don't see that as being a problem. Compatibility is the important part. You won't be doing yourself any favors by hiding your light from guys. We'll find out whether or not we can handle it sooner or later, and sooner is probably better than later.

[Texasred]

You can marry the wildest woman in the world without worrying about it;
she'll turn reserved and asexual soon enough...

[WildChild]

You can marry the wildest woman in the world without worrying about it;
she'll turn reserved and asexual soon enough...

Depends on how you treat her.

[LanaBear]

You can marry the wildest woman in the world without worrying about it;
she'll turn reserved and asexual soon enough...

But some turn it back around. Don't lose complete hope...

[rcoreyus]

No - sadly it doesn't. Some women just loose interest even if they are treated very well.

Depends on how you treat her.

[Texasred]

No - sadly it doesn't. Some women just loose interest even if they are treated very well.

That would be my experience...

[WildChild]

That may well be true, but what you think she needs and think of as treating her well and what she really needs and wants, may not be the same thing. That can come down to simply not being on the same page at all. I'm not saying that either of you have this situation but I've been there.

It can get beyond frustrating to be saying; I don't like this, I can't live with this and to be ignored, told you should deal with it or that there is something wrong with you. My most recent ex had dozens of fish tanks in the house, air pipes running all over the place, holes drilled though ceilings and floors, had water overflows or leaks multiple times, we got mold in addition to other damage. He didn't understand that repeatedly soaked insulation had to be removed. There was an air compressor running 24 hours a day in the house. His health wasn't good and he couldn't keep up with maintenence, the smell was sometimes unbelievable (think dead, rotting fish, he couldn't smell it until it was overpowering). There were 5 (75 gal or bigger) tanks in the master bedroom area alone. When the water levels dropped the noise was awful.

At times I couldn't sleep, in desperation I tried to sleep in the back of my car in a detached garage a couple of times. There was no place in the house that you could completely escape the sound and the smell. He flat out didn't get it. I tried talking with him multiple times, in tears of frustration sometimes - the problem was always me, I should just get used to it or he'd do a little work on it but it wasn't enough. People's homes aren't meant to be fish warehouses and that was what he was creating - it wasn't attractive or intended to be.

There were many other problems that compounded this situation, I ended up sleeping in a little room behind the kitchen, it was cold in the winter and hot in the summer but was the quietest place in the house. Problem was it was supposed to be his child's room on the rare occasions she was there. Then I ended up sleeping on the livingroom floor. By that time the sitation was such that I couldn't be in the same bed with him. His personal hygiene had gotten poor, the stress and meds had just changed him. And the stress had gotten too much for me.

I had already told him that I intended to leave and given what we had been through with him being unemployed for an extended time (years) and his health, that I needed time to prepare to move myself and my kids. We had that talk several times with him still not getting it. I think when I finally moved he was in some ways shocked.

If you talked to him you would learn that I am completely unreasonable and inexplicable. He would tell you, as he did me, that he did everything for me, it just wasn't possible to satisfy me. Everyone I knew was saying leave and I probably stayed longer than I should because his health was poor and he wasn't necessarily able to care for himself entirely for a while. I saw him through cancer and several other health issues until he was able to care for himself. He got the house, since we had no chilren together, I got nothing but my freedom and he is apparently making as much or more than he has before, has added more fish tanks and presumably he and his fish will live there until the place falls down.

There is always more than one side to every story. Often times people just can't see the other's perspective. It isn't just a matter of talking, you have to hear what is really being said. He Never heard me.I didn't stick around to torture him though.