[SueLynn]

Ive been engaged to my fiancee for the last year. Sex was
great and everything was fine till 6 months ago when he started
to get a soreness/itching on the head of his penis (he's not
circumcised.) I don't think he got it from me, and don't tell me he was fooling around, I know for a fact he wasnt. Could this be non-sex related? Finally I got him to go the Dr. after it kept getting worse w/redness/swelling and white "stuff" all over the head of his penis.
He was diagnosed with balanitis (I think it's called that) and put on a treatment of antifungal and steroid creams. Unfortunately these didn't help
and the problem spread to his foreskin and made him even
more uncomfortable. They though maybe he has diabetes but tests showed he didn't. Now after 6 months of different treatments and
three Drs. he's being told he should be circumcised but he
doeent want that and neither do I, I like him the way he is (or
was.) He's still all red w/some swelling and itching like crazy and theres still that white stuff all over, at least he's not so sore anymore. Why isn't it getting better? Does anybody know about alternative treatments, like herbal medicine or something? Also we havent been having sex in a while and it's wearing on us both. He doesn't want me to touch it. He's afraid I'll get sick
and he doesn't want me to see it.
But I love him and hate to see him hurt and I want him to have some pleasure. How do I talk to him?
If he uses protection is it okay? Also will I get sick if I masturbate
him down there or make oral contact w/the infected area?
Im so sorry if I grossed anyone out, Thanks for any answers!

[WildChild]

Isn't this essentially a yeast infection? Get the book The Yeast Connection, check out the web site too. I think you may find some help there.

[caterpillar79]

Why don't you both consider circumcision if it is a huge help to alleviate or possibly stop the condition? Is it something cultural or religious? What's stopping you aside from your stated reason?

[SueLynn]

Isn't this essentially a yeast infection? Get the book The Yeast Connection, check out the web site too. I think you may find some help there.

Thanks, that's what we've been told (it's a sort of yeast thing.)
I'll check out the website also.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

The only reason why he is being recommended for circumsison is cleanliness.

The more it builds up under the foreskin the worse it gets, to the point where he is at.

If he was to be "ultra" clean for a few days, a few times a day for-instance, even with warm water a facewasher of sorts, it may ease even further.

Worth experimenting and establishing if it's beyond him or not.

CW

[SueLynn]

Why don't you both consider circumcision if it is a huge help to alleviate or possibly stop the condition? Is it something cultural or religious? What's stopping you aside from your stated reason?

My fiancee doesn't want anything that permanent done. That's why we're
hoping there's something alternative, ect. we can do. Though if thats all
there is left I guess he'll need it done maybe?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

If he uses protection is it okay? Also will I get sick if I masturbate
him down there or make oral contact w/the infected area?

Did the Doctors advise you to use protection? Because yeast infections can basically be passed back and forth between you, and often a female may not be aware that she has one, no itchiness herself, more discharge, but it's bacteria and like all bacteria it goes back and forth.

So, I would be using protection and also see if you can obtain a check as well.

Having said that, if he's burning etc, I would have no sex until it's clear because it will cause friction which will cause more burning for him and pain.

I couldn't even consider going down on a man whom was red raw and had gunk?

Strange question?

But again, to answer you question, if he's itchy/sore you will make it worse by touching him, friction.

CW

[caterpillar79]

Like CW said, it is hygiene.

When a man ejaculates and he is not circumcised, some of the fluids get stuck beneath the foreskin which then become nasty. It would attract some microbes.

If the foreskin is removed, there is nothing to trap the ejaculate, easier to wash and thoroughly cleansed, hence minimizing the recurrence.

Also change his underwears - buy new once. Reusing the old once while he's infected would also re-introduce some of the remains or what not. (I am just an OCD here).

Use hypo-allergenic laundry detergents, and don't use dryer sheets. Segregate his under wears when you wash them. Use hot water as well.

Get yourself checked as well, just to be on the safe side. Have your pH be checked also.

[SueLynn]

The only reason why he is being recommended for circumsison is cleanliness.

The more it builds up under the foreskin the worse it gets, to the point where he is at.

If he was to be "ultra" clean for a few days, a few times a day for-instance, even with warm water a facewasher of sorts, it may ease even further.

Worth experimenting and establishing if it's beyond him or not.

CW

He washes and cleans it like 3x daily, it's part of the treatment he's on.
Did you mean experimenting w/washing, or the circumcision idea? He's
pretty strongly against that idea.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

No, I meant with the cleaning.

Well, I would seek further advice as well.

I understand that being circumsised means that "gunk" can't get caught and so cleaning is easier, but the men were born that way and if cleaned properly shouldn't get this problem.

So, I would continue to seek advice to be sure.

Did you understand my "thoughts" to your other questions?

I still don't get why you would fee compelled to want to do things with him, orally or with your hand if he is that infected.

CW