[Guest]

Is she on the pill? the pill is known to decrease a womens sex drive.

I find it odd that she is letting you sleep with other women, have you spoken to her about her reasons for this?

. . .

This does seem weird. I have to ask if she may be on some other kinds of medication? anti-depressants can lower a person's sex drive significantly.

she is either a very open minded person by being ok with you having sex with other people, or something else is going on. aside from the sex part, is she still as affectionate as she was previously? are there any other signs or things that have changed in your relationship?

[Texasred]

You haven't said if she enjoys now or used to enjoy sex two years ago; is she experiencing orgasm during sex?
Because if she's not, or not having it very often, that could certainly cause her to lose interest in having sex!

[Explorer44]

Well, not necessarily, my dear TR...some of us are troublemakers who struggle in that area lol..

But yes, you are probably correct that if a partner 'used to' and doesnt now then....asking is the only way to find out, I imagine

[Texasred]

Well, not necessarily, my dear TR...some of us are troublemakers who struggle in that area lol..

But yes, you are probably correct that if a partner 'used to' and doesnt now then....asking is the only way to find out, I imagine

Well if one rules out the occasional troublemaker... still, my point was this:
If the gf seldom is satisfied - and I cannot know, since the op did not say one way or the other (and that suggests to me that there is at least the possibility that his gf IS seldom satisfied) - but if that were the case, well then, it's perfectly logical that over time she would lose interest.

Having been involved in a relationship ( a formalized sort of relationship, in fact...) in which the same sort of situation existed, but with the sexes reversed, I can say firsthand that frustration if nothing else can certainly over time lead to a lack of interest.
Who likes to continue banging their head against a wall? Metaphorically speaking, for the most part...

[WildChild]

She used to like frequent sex
now complains of pain,
doesn't want sex often
and wants it over with quickly.
Assuming she is healthy, it sounds like her needs aren't being met. Having sex without being fully aroused and really wet, can be painful. She wants to please you but isn't really enjoying it so she wants it over with as quickly as possible. Sounds like, for her, sex has become all about your needs and not hers. A few minutes of foreplay is ok sometimes but most women need more, most of the time. That can be an ongoing thing. Showing her you care, being tender and loving and playful- not just when you want sex, is important.

[rcoreyus]

Maybe a different situation, but on the rare occasions my wife wants sex, she wants me to do whatever makes her orgasm quickly - as if she is some task she needs to get finished. I wonder if some women start to see orgasm as the goal of sex, and decide to do away with any of the unnecessary activity .

[kira]

The pain part is the main thing I caught. If she complains that too often causes pain when you are down to a few times a week for sex then something is going wrong here. Not enough foreplay and arousal, she's just having trouble getting wet for physical/hormonal reasons, or some other time of health issue with her reproductive tract. Mention of pain should signal you to find out all the details so you can try to avoid it and help return her sex drive.

If it really were a mismatch of sex drives I could understand one partner allowing the other to sleep with someone else to fulfill their needs. You should make sure it really is just a mismatch of sex drives though and not being caused by some problem. Whether that's physical, stress from her life, or something wrong in your relationship. You need to narrow it down before you can try to improve things.

[nostromo]

Maybe a different situation, but on the rare occasions my wife wants sex, she wants me to do whatever makes her orgasm quickly - as if she is some task she needs to get finished. I wonder if some women start to see orgasm as the goal of sex, and decide to do away with any of the unnecessary activity .

Have you asked her why that is? If you did would you get an answer?

[rcoreyus]

If she says anythign at all, in each particular case there is a reason: needs to get to sleep soon, tired today, lost of chores to do, or something similar. Usually she doesn't say anything, just asks me to do the things that let her orgasm quickly. Does the same to me.

Have you asked her why that is? If you did would you get an answer?

[Texasred]

Maybe a different situation, but on the rare occasions my wife wants sex, she wants me to do whatever makes her orgasm quickly - as if she is some task she needs to get finished. I wonder if some women start to see orgasm as the goal of sex, and decide to do away with any of the unnecessary activity .

Sounds like she doesn't particularly like the sex act, and just wants to get it over with as quickly as possible?
This scenario sounds familiar to me!