[pretzel]

The tobacco companies have increased the addictive componets and they are tougher to get off of. Have you considered switching to the "natural" tobacco? If you can adjust to the lower nicotine levels then quitting may be easier. I can't stand the smoke anymore but still want a cigarette sometimes. I know if I tried one, I'd get sick (literally, I lose my voice) but the craving is still there. I did find that I had to change habits associated with smoking - like drinking. Actually quit both for quite a long while.
Stress sure can send you running for the familiar crutches. I've fallen out of habit with my running and as soon as this toe quits hurting (after the nail falls off I guess- ick) I'm getting back into it. That will take care of a lot of stress release and be healthier than eating all these Dove promises.

for sake on not hijacking the thread,

It's not about the additives and addictiveness of smoking.

It's about the stress and dissatisfaction with my life.

(hijack over)

[manspoint]

for sake on not hijacking the thread,

It's not about the additives and addictiveness of smoking.

It's about the stress and dissatisfaction with my life.

(hijack over)

No probs with the hijack. If the thread sparks a different convo and you get to vent and discuss your own issues then some good has come from the thread.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

manspoint
No probs with the hijack. If the thread sparks a different convo and you get to vent and discuss your own issues then some good has come from the thread.

Commends his comment, with thanks

Pretzel, I'm a smoker, and I smoke more now since I separated, blaming stress as well and no life, until now...

I do agree, that you have to have something positive, happy, fullfilling to be able to say "no more" I don't need you, you little devil, your evil

So, do something positive and get out there and change that life of yours, like I am, and you will (trust me) not feel such a necessity anymore and you will be able to cut right down....

Manspoint... seems you had a slice of the oposite in your life, it must feel great now to have someone who's not afraid to do or to speak and tell you what she did

[Mes T]

Well what the heck... ? My boyfriend's a heavy smoker, has been for a long time, and before he met me he was supposedly lonely and had no friends in the area. Well both of those things have changed drastically, but his smoking has not. He says he's tried to quit several times in the past and it hasn't worked, so to me he said "don't even try." So... I have to decide whether or not I want to live with stench the rest of my days (assuming we stay together). Because that's what it is to me. Horrible stench. He has a "smoking room" in the apartment. To me that's like having a "passing gas room." DFGDWERSDF.

And back to the original topic, my ex woke me every now and then with full on sex and it was GREAT.

I think I'd only have a problem with this if it wasn't my partner's intention to wake me.

Have been wanting to try something like this with my boyfriend but am afraid of getting the wrong reaction.

[manspoint]

Manspoint... seems you had a slice of the oposite in your life, it must feel great now to have someone who's not afraid to do or to speak and tell you what she did

CW...yes it is great now, but funny you bring up the smoking issue as a crutch.
I smoked from a very young (sub-teen) age but quit when my first child was born, cold turkey, which is only possible if you really, really want to quit, which I did.
My marriage went sour, she became less and less interested in me and more interested in my earnings. We had lots of wonderful things - 2 girls, multiple ponies, horses, nice house on acres, - but no love.
Anyway, after a few years of this I finally left her and my daughters. It was an extremely stressful time and guess what....after 13 years I took up smoking again.

My loving wife now has come from a defacto relationship - from 16 years old to 30s of a dominating loveless self-centric man. So we are both on the same page and both know what it takes to keep the sparks zapping and the hearts racing.

BTW, we eloped to a winery and got married on new years eve I gave up smoking two weeks before - she didn't like my smoking but put up with it, and I decided to quit for our marriage....cold turkey again.

[manspoint]

Have been wanting to try something like this with my boyfriend but am afraid of getting the wrong reaction.

Mes....I was like this for a long time with my MEANT-TO-BE but after trying a few things and getting responses like "WOW....What took you so long" or "Where did you learn that" I found you should just jump in and try. Sure, there have been some "Please don't do that again" but unless you try you will never know. Goes for everything in life. You wont progress if you don't try something new.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

CW...yes it is great now, but funny you bring up the smoking issue as a crutch.
I smoked from a very young (sub-teen) age but quit when my first child was born, cold turkey, which is only possible if you really, really want to quit, which I did.
My marriage went sour, she became less and less interested in me and more interested in my earnings. We had lots of wonderful things - 2 girls, multiple ponies, horses, nice house on acres, - but no love.
Anyway, after a few years of this I finally left her and my daughters. It was an extremely stressful time and guess what....after 13 years I took up smoking again.

My loving wife now has come from a defacto relationship - from 16 years old to 30s of a dominating loveless self-centric man. So we are both on the same page and both know what it takes to keep the sparks zapping and the hearts racing.

BTW, we eloped to a winery and got married on new years eve I gave up smoking two weeks before - she didn't like my smoking but put up with it, and I decided to quit for our marriage....cold turkey again.

This is what scares me about giving up Alot, start again at some point and due to "stress" dirty work, (spits, sort off.)

But it is funny when there is a good reason, a reason that means something to you, you commence on that journey and you know what? Cold Turkey is the only way, as hard as it is it's harder on other things, like patches etc. My man smokes but doesn't want to so I figure we can do this now, I have back up

dominating loveless self-centric man. So we are both on the same page and both know what it takes to keep the sparks zapping and the hearts racing.

My turn It's funny that you state the above... sounds like my marriage and my current relationship...

Your attitude (both of you) is one to be admired.. I can't see this marriage being anything other than, what you both wished for in a different "ships passing in the night" before you met, now you have...

I think age plays a part too, we learn what we didn't like, didn't want, and whom we are, and what we do want, and then we meet...

"As a woman" coming from what she went through? It's not so much taking, it's knowing she can do it, finally, because she wants to, because you excit her, asleep or awake and that is like fullfilling a fantasy of all that she couldn't be before, that she now can be.. because she has love and knows that it's OK.

CW

[manspoint]

Your attitude (both of you) is one to be admired.. I can't see this marriage being anything other than, what you both wished for in a different "ships passing in the night" before you met, now you have...

CW...are you psychic/intuitive at all?
Reason I ask is that she believes that I was her chosen one. (She is very much psychic etc). She had a reading done (recorded, I have heard it) while she was still with her ex and the reader said my name - happens to also be her sons name so she dismissed it - but also said my field of work, described me to a T.
We met online...she had been on a dating site for 6 months but not real active. She was helping a friend search and came across my profile and went "Thats Him!". I didn't like like the description at the time (clippered hair, no facial hair) but when she saw a photo of me she said it was the description given to her.

I think age plays a part too, we learn what we didn't like, didn't want, and whom we are, and what we do want, and then we meet...

WISDOM we call it. Some learn from mistakes, some learn patterns.

"As a woman" coming from what she went through? It's not so much taking, it's knowing she can do it, finally, because she wants to, because you excit her, asleep or awake and that is like fullfilling a fantasy of all that she couldn't be before, that she now can be.. because she has love and knows that it's OK.

WOW! I think with this insight you may have hit the nail on the head!


Has your man told you today how wonderful you are? Cause he bloody well should. He is very lucky and I wish you both a live time of joy together.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

CW...are you psychic/intuitive at all?
Reason I ask is that she believes that I was her chosen one. (She is very much psychic etc). She had a reading done (recorded, I have heard it) while she was still with her ex and the reader said my name - happens to also be her sons name so she dismissed it - but also said my field of work, described me to a T.
We met online...she had been on a dating site for 6 months but not real active. She was helping a friend search and came across my profile and went "Thats Him!". I didn't like like the description at the time (clippered hair, no facial hair) but when she saw a photo of me she said it was the description given to her.

All my life Get called white witch here often.

I took a photo of my man when we met accidentally, I gave up internet dating and well gave up. I handed him my card that night and said call me, there was something, very same as your wife, "it's him"...

Turns out, we married at the same place, his name was in the second line of my wedding song, seriously, he knows my ex-fiance, he shops where I did shop when I was married, living only minutes from where I lived.

Has your man told you today how wonderful you are? Cause he bloody well should. He is very lucky and I wish you both a live time of joy together

.

Yessum and I'll remind him tonight when he gets here Thank you, that's so beautiful.

Like your wife, I know I've met my match and he does too.. We are also in sin-ct in every way and I know how I felt, and I know how I feel and I believe that your wife really is doing what she wants "finally"...

x

Thanks again.

CW

[pretzel]

CW (wonderful CW) and Manspoint,

both of you should feel extremely lucky and blessed at the same time. There is nothing greater in the world than feeling loved and being able to connect as one.

That said and back to the hijacked topic, smoking, my wife smokes about twice as much as I do so quitting for me has that added incentive. I very seriously doubt she'll quit but if she can get down to a more reasonable level that would be a big first step.

For myself, when I quit, it wasn't that hard. It helped some that the anti-depressant prescribed had a dual purpose, but after the initial period, smoking was a non issue. Lonliness and boredom was what brought me back but I know that quitting again would not be that difficult. But it is serving a purpose (albeit a bad one) that is allowing some form of calmness when the mind starts going in about 16 different directions. Those few minutes alone is helping the process of thougt sorting I need right now.

That said, I'm more than prepared to have my head pounded in for being stupid and allowing idiotic reasons for not quitting. At some point, things may start sinking in.