[JadedQueen]

I don't think you should have to divulge that if you aren't comfortable in doing so. The only think that he has a right to know is that you are STD free and beyond that knowing the exact number really won't accomplish anything so just figure out a polite way to not answer. If the question comes up just say something like you don't kiss and tell and leave it at that. I don't recommend lying because you really don't want to start a relationship that way if it has any hope of working out long term.

[Hopeless Dork]

I was a promiscuous, lost , lost, teenage girl. My boyfriend has never asked me how many guys I've slept with... messed around with etc... and I've never asked it of him either... and we've been together a few years.

I think in your case, if your partner hasn't asked you that question yet... he's not one of those guys that obsesses over that type of thing. There are guys that do and guys that don't. Ones that do will usually ask you fairly early on, want to know all their names, who made you orgasm etc.... oddly enough the guys that ask are usually the ones that don't want to know the answer.

I don't suggest lying or denying part of yourself, you were child 14-16, the woman you are today was not defined in those 2 years it was meerly a tiny chapter in your life story.

If you guys ever do get in a discussion about your sexual past, you can say what you said here... without drudging up some number... that when you were a kid, you were fast, you thought you knew what you wanted... you knew nothing. And given the fact he hasn't asked you that question yet... I am sure he will leave it at that.

I don't think you have cause to worry about what he thinks about that, if he loves you, and if there has been a good distance of time since you were 14-16... I think he could safely believe that you are not going to be falling into that same behavior pattern.

[Ashlee T.]

I've been with my bf for 8-9 mths (something like that). I've never asked him and he's never asked me. If he did ask I'd say "NUNYA!!" (none of your business). HAHA! Seriously, past is past. And especially when you're young, your past is predominantly your teenage years and well, those just shouldn't be held against you.

Typically, questioning ones past gives you answers.....and most of the time they are answers you truly didn't want to know to begin with, and MOST of the time they are answers to feed an insecurity which is totally not cool and causes LOTS of problems.

Maybe he won't ask. But if he does, you're certainly not obligated to tell those things.

[stressed]

I seem to be the only one here who doesn't think it's all that bad to be asked that question ... Not that it matters interrogation-style, but I don't see the harm in it as long as both parities can take the truth, as corey said. I think such a question does come up by itself at some point, be it indirectly, or in a joke, or after having watched something on TV, or heard something... So far all the guys I've been with have asked me that and I was okay with it (not all of them were okay with my answers though, but I didn't mind).

I don't know, I'm just more for being open about such things and dealing with them, than leaving them in the dark. I'd rather know my boyfriend has been with 10 women, for example, than wonder about it, or him not giving me a straight answer. But of course it does depend on the person.

(I just got an urge to 'defend' my point of view, since everyone here is so "don't ask, don't tell" )

[rcoreyus]

I think it depends a lot on how and why it is asked. If he is curious, or vague amused at your "exciting" past then I don't see a problem. If he is accusatory, suggesting you are a sl... that would be very bad. Maybe as bad would be if he is insecure and wanted to be reassured that none of them were in any way as good as he is. (even it thats true, you don't want to have to tell him).

[GlassDaemon]

If it does come to him asking DON'T MAKE A BIG DEAL OF IT! Especially if you want to go with the "Past is the past" response, jabbering on about it will only make him more curious lol. Tell him it's in the past and move on.