[jim_b]

I've been going out with me girlfriend for a few months and things have started to move on a bit and getting intimate. We're both in our 30's and not exactly new at it. First time things didn't go so well, then she told me it never works very well. She's never ben able to have an orgasm vaginally, and only anally.

This threw a spanner in the works for me as it really grosses me out. I've never tried or be inclined to try. My fear is that if I say this then it may end it. Is there any way of learning to like something, or is it best we part ways. Everything else is so good between us, I'd hate to end it over sex.

[smchot]

For a relationship to last, it has to have all the pieces, uncluding the sexual pieces. Have you ever considered using toys anally while you are in her vaginally?

[sallywi2003]

I would agree with smchot there is many different option. When I was first having sex I could not stand anal sex but as time went I now enjoy it from time to time. In learning to enjoy it we started gradual and them progressed to full anal sex.

[SaharaJim]

jim_b; not to go all "male" on you but before you put yourself in a conniption fit over a given sexual act....that you have never even considered much less done....why not take some time, do some reading and educate yourself on the specific act? Then if it is still totally unacceptable you may have a problem. BUT...you say it "really grosses you out"..OK what exactly? fear of the smell? Fear of getting excrement on you? Proper cleaning of the area can remove these problems. to be doubly sure you can (and really should) wear a condom . Just the idea of entering her rectum? It's a body oraface ..not really all that different than any other. Is it some association that anal intercourse is somehow "gay"? Or did it just catch you off guard? Maybe you need some time for the idea to "grow on you". It may sound like I am mocking you but I SWEAR I am not...close your eyes and pretend its a vagina. I tell you the physical sensations are not that different- the difference is in your mind.

[Kallygirlie]

Well the best part of a new relationship is trying new things. My BF had never tried it before us nor had I. He asked me, I said ok. I don't hate it but its not my favorite BUT he loved it, either way at least we can say we tried. You need to figure out why you dont like the idea of it. If you truely can not do it then you need to just tell her. If a relationship is meant to be, you will find harmony in the bedroom. Not all couples experience the WOW factor in the beginning. It took me about 8 months before things started feeling great for my BF and I because we study each other.