[GingerSnaps]

Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year now. He is my first, and while he has had sex in past relationship, he is still not all that experienced. We are in a long distance relationship, so "us time" isnt all that frequent and when we are together we fit in as much as we can. We have oral sex and have been trying to have intercourse for a few months, but we havent been successful yet because he cant stay hard when hes inside me, even without a condom. When i give him oral/handjob he will stay hard a bit longer but eventually will go a little soft unless he uses his own hand. It has been like this every time. He says its been like this for him in past situations as well and that he has to finish off himself. In the beginning i knew it was because of nerves, but he says he isnt nervous anymore. We are both 20 years old, and while he is a smoker, i cant say he has ED. Ive suggested to him that it could be he may masturbate a little too much when we're apart and to cut back for a while, but im not sure it will help. Maybe hes just not stimulated enough? Help?

[jns]

He isn't used to the sensations that occur during penetration. And yes, masturbation is interfering since penetration doesn't feel like his hand. Also possibly viewing of porn causes problems as a real woman isn't the same as in pornos. He should refrain from masturbation for a week or two before you two get together. Then the both of you should relax and explore each others bodies instead of getting right to intercourse. Try a few strokes of penetration, then you masturbating him, then repeating until he climaxes. Use lubricant, but not too much. Even if most of his arousal is done by you masturbating him, if he gets in a few strokes before he climaxes he will feel the additional sensation as his penis head swells in the seconds before orgasm. This feeling is as addictive as the orgasm itself and having it will boost his confidence in taking penetrative sex to orgasm.

This thread should be under Sex.

[GingerSnaps]

Thanks for the advice. I will certainly give all of it a try.

[Texasred]

... Ive suggested to him that it could be he may masturbate a little too much when we're apart and to cut back for a while...

NAIL => HEAD
Unless he has some other health problem in addition to the smoking - which can't help - I'd bet anything you have hit upon the problem.
If he could go a few days without whacking, I think the problem would be solved.

[stressed]

I also agree, it seems to be a masturbation & porn problem, which can occur at all ages (it took us 5 months to have proper sex when my guy had that problem at 35). It will definitely help if he cuts down. It's not you or your looks. It's his hand.