[johnny87]

Most people its clumsy, its awkward... but doing it with the one you love?? All that clumsy and awkward will just make it all that more endearing... because neither of you needs to impress each other, you already thing each other is the most awesome person in the world for you. And besides... you have the whole rest of your lives to figure each other out sexually!

I'm definitely on the same page with this. I haven't tried to memorize the kama sutra yet for this very reason. I figure that we can both learn about technique together, when the time comes to actually practice it.

Red, Rose petals on the bed, she'll see the romantic side of that And, if you can, a couple of white candles....

How in the world did I forget the rose petals and the candles?! Rookie mistake, I guess...

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Anything I have not thought of

Red, Rose petals on the bed, she'll see the romantic side of that And, if you can, a couple of white candles....

Also, congratulations, it's fantastic that you want it to be so special.

[jns]

Just a slight suggestion....maybe you already know.....but take the AGENDA which you may have all planned out ....and toss it into the trash.

I agree. Take your time and observe your wife's reactions to what you are doing. Let that be your guide to what to do next or what to repeat. Let your wife lead at times and listen to what she is saying.

[Hopeless Dork]

Your attitude is great, and there is nothing wrong with educating yourself and trying to be prepared and making her as comfortable as possible. Its just a good thing to keep in mind that those awesome love scenes in movies take dozens of takes so that no one is taking an elbow to the chin or a stilletto kick to the forehead changing positions (that stuff happens lol!!) no one in movies is like right at the perfect moment "wait wait wait, I gotta peee real quick!!"... but, yeah, that happens! In movies they are not like .. my knee just fell asleep! hopping off the bed and bouncing around ... but that happens, lol... in movies no one accidentally farts during a tender cuddle moment after.

I just agree so much with the person that says rip up any ideas of okay first i'm going to do this, and then her response will be that.. and then I will move on to this... because you just want to enjoy the moment for what it is, having it all planned out leaves room for it not living up to your expectations. Fantasizing about what MIGHT happen... is natural... but preparing for specific outcomes and expectations will just put pressure on you and her to live up to something that is so beautiful in and of itself it needs to not be worried about

Its so exciting that you both have saved yourself for this moment... and I've never known anyone that has a 'lost my virginity' story that played out like it does in a romance novel... rolling in a field of hay that somehow doesn't end up sticking to their hind ends!! Most people its clumsy, its awkward... but doing it with the one you love?? All that clumsy and awkward will just make it all that more endearing... because neither of you needs to impress each other, you already thing each other is the most awesome person in the world for you. And besides... you have the whole rest of your lives to figure each other out sexually!

[johnny87]

Thanks for all your great comments. Feel free to keep adding anything you might think of, I never get tired of learning new perspectives.

I'm still open to suggestions for stuff to pack in my honeymoon bag of tricks. Maybe there's something you think might be a good thing to have for fun, or in case of an accident (maybe I should take some icepacks, she can be a bit clumsy sometimes ), or just anything that you maybe have thought "it sure would be nice if I had a right now" while in bed.

oh do you have any brothers cause men like you are hard to find lol

Haha, nope. My best man and I share a lot of the same views and he's single, so you could go after him!

What the pill is most likely to do is kill her libido, even women who are sexually active and loving it have found themselves become completely uninterested in sex while on the pill. This is a serious drawback. The two of you may want to consider other options such as a diaphram (although not an option if she is in fact paraben sensitive).

Good health in general is the best thing for sexual health. Both of you can do kegel exersizes to improve your responsiveness and control. A healthy diet, regular exersize and a positive, loving outlook are your best freinds for a good sex life.

To be honest, I've been trying to look at the big picture on birth control, and I'm not a fan putting her in danger with the side effects. I've been a little apprehensive of the lower libido side effect as well, though I don't think that will be much of a problem at first, since we have both been waiting in anticipation. Then there's also the fact that we will probably be in various forms of foreplay for at least a couple hours before the first time we have intercourse, so I'm hoping that's enough to raise any lowered libidos . However, hormonal birth control is definitely an area I'd like to do some more thinking about.

The bad thing about the paraben/glycerin/whatever allergies is that I won't know if she is sensitive until something starts hurting her (which is why I'm going to avoid as many allergens as possible). Are mild irritations something that just a good wash and a night's rest will take care of? Obviously, if it's too bad, I would take her to the doctor... but I'm really trying to avoid a hospital trip on my honeymoon.

Yes, I have been doing Kegel exercises in preparation. At some point when we are closer to openly discussing all this stuff, I might subtly slip her some information on the subject

I think you've done all the research and prep that you can do for the main event hon! I admire your tenacity in trying to prevent any problems... I bet you read the instructions before programming the time on the dvd player huh? : ) She's very fortunate to have someone so concerned for her well being and doing all sorts of yeast prevention tactics... and those are all great, but sometimes you just got to let things unfold... sex isn't like camping, you can't prepare for every little mishap and some will happen here or there along they way... but ppl have been having sex for a long time, like... forever, and as many little mishaps that happen here or there, people keep plugging along (no pun intended!)

Definitely bring lube that doesn't contain allergens, definitely pack birth control... and other than, bring a good attitude, sense of humor and the love you have for that woman... thats really all thats going to be necessary to have an awesome honeymoon.

I don't like studying about too many things, but I love learning about women (or rather, a particular woman). Like you've pointed out though, they just don't make an instruction manual for them (or maybe they do, but it's all written in Chinese )!

In the end, the mishaps and blunders of our unlearned awkwardness will be a great time of bonding. I have no illusions of anything going like I plan, which is why I'd love to have as many "just in case" things as I can, but still be flexible and ready for anything life might throw our way ("You have a third nipple?! Fun!"). To put things in perspective here, I'm just going to be happy to have an attractive, naked lady, whom I love more than anything, in the same room with me. That's not something I'm going to be taking for granted!

All the preparation is more to make things easy for her. I know it's going to be stressful for her. Even if everything goes smoothly with the wedding, she's going to be slightly on edge because she's a little bit of a worrier. For any given big event, I prepare as much as I can and then enjoy the ride, whereas she tends to over-think all the worst case scenarios and then anxiously wait for them to happen. So, I know she's going to be stressed by the wedding and its myriad of possibilities of things that could go wrong.

... maybe a cigarette for after?
Are you for real? :- )
Congratulations on your wedding!

Neither of us smoke... but we share a common vice of dark chocolate. I definitely need to add some to kit.

I'm as real as it gets! Thank you!

Just a slight suggestion....maybe you already know.....but take the AGENDA which you may have all planned out ....and toss it into the trash. Prep for anything is good.
you seemed to have done VERY well. But I suspect that you also have a “mental picture" of how everything is "supposed to go". Toss it. Let what happens happen. As long as you remember it is about the two of you sharing pleasure...there is no agenda to be followed. Good luck and God bless you both.

My biggest fear is that she will assume that I expect everything to be perfect and then something goes wrong; I know that with the added stress of the wedding, and self-consciousness of being vulnerable and open in a way she's never been before, might lead her to having a breakdown. Now, let me say that I plan to reassure her as much as possible beforehand that this is not the case and that I have no presumptions of what is perfect and what isn't, only that we both are enjoying ourselves. Even at that, if she still lets things overwhelm her and has a breakdown, I know how to comfort her. She'll be feeling like a million bucks in no time!

You don't see this mentioned often, but if you're not using latex condoms, baby oil makes an excellent lube. There's not hardly any skin surface it will irritate, I've never heard of anyone being allergic to it, and it doesn't dry out and go away when you need it most like the water-based lubes do.

I might have some oil-base lube on hand for massages, and we may experiment with it at some point. I've heard coconut oil can be good for preventing yeast infections as well, so maybe I'll go that route.

[Texasred]

You don't see this mentioned often, but if you're not using latex condoms, baby oil makes an excellent lube. There's not hardly any skin surface it will irritate, I've never heard of anyone being allergic to it, and it doesn't dry out and go away when you need it most like the water-based lubes do.

[pretzel]

Just a slight suggestion....maybe you already know.....but take the AGENDA which you may have all planned out ....and toss it into the trash. Prep for anything is good.
you seemed to have done VERY well. But I suspect that you also have a"mental picture" of how everything is "supposed to go". Toss it. Let what happens happen. As long as you remember it is about the two of you sharing pleasure...there is no agenda to be followed. Good luck and God bless you both.

Very, very well said Sahara.

[SaharaJim]

Just a slight suggestion....maybe you already know.....but take the AGENDA which you may have all planned out ....and toss it into the trash. Prep for anything is good.
you seemed to have done VERY well. But I suspect that you also have a"mental picture" of how everything is "supposed to go". Toss it. Let what happens happen. As long as you remember it is about the two of you sharing pleasure...there is no agenda to be followed. Good luck and God bless you both.

[LanaBear]

Definitely bring lube that doesn't contain allergens, definitely pack birth control... and other than, bring a good attitude, sense of humor and the love you have for that woman... thats really all thats going to be necessary to have an awesome honeymoon.

Completely agree.

Regardless if all your preparation works or not, I think it is sweet. You've taken a lot of time to make sure she will be as comfortable as possible, that says a lot.

Good luck and congratulations!

[Trying Hard]

... maybe a cigarette for after?
Are you for real? :- )
Congratulations on your wedding!